LONG Day but it had a happy ending
We've all been snowed in together most of the week. PITA 19 is still home from college. I just needed a day to myself. I planned to scrapbook all day. Last night, in SDs room, (she's back at school already)I laid out all my papers and supplies all over her bed and desk, and set up my portable work table. I told Loghead I was getting up at 6:15 to try to retrain myself to be ready for work Monday (I'm a teacher) and I would wake up Lazy Boye for his ACT if Loghead would make his breakfast so I could scrapbook.
Fitful night's sleep. Around 5 am, I kept hearing people walking around the kitchen, and then I heard the shower running. Tossed and turned for another hour. Finally got up at 6:30 to discover PITA's girlfriend was sleeping in SDs room! SHE MOVED MY SCRAPBOOK STUFF! That's like House Rule #5- Don't mess with my scrapbook stuff. And she broke House Rule #43- No overnight guests without verbal permission from me or Loghead. And she knows that. PITA knows that. So I ranted to Loghead for a few minutes, but then because I try not to be a horrible bitch when the skid is home from college, I quietly went back into SDs room and got my supplies out without waking up the Girlfriend. (I really need to think of a nickname for her...)
I did wake up PITA, who was asleep in the living room, when I let the dogs outside. Only to discover a strange car in our driveway! But he just grunted and went back to sleep. By this time, Loghead has come upstairs from checking the woodstove and asks me who the two strange kids are in the basement.
Lazy Boye comes upstairs complaining he didn't get a good night's sleep for the ACT and tried to talk us out of sending him. Loghead wakes up PITA and demands to know who else is in the house. "You told us you took her home and you were staying at Grandpa's, yadda yadda yadda." Not much is gathered from conversation. Lazy Boye goes to ACT. PITA goes back to sleep.
I scrapbook all morning, as planned, but I there were things I couldn't find cuz she moved my stuff. And I am FUMING MAD. I constantly tell this to Loghead as he comes in and out of the kitchen. He agrees that we will sit the two lovebirds down and talk to them again about our house expectations; he says he will wake up PITA and take him to the woods to gather more firewood, that will be his punishment for bringing her and other friends into the house without our permission. He says he will send the Girlfriend home and we will have a quiet dinner tonight, just family.
So I;m okay with this. BUT THEN LOGHEAD DOES NOTHING. He retreats to the bedroom to do his paperwork, and the hours tick by.
At 1:15, I had cleaned up my stuff, and decided since PITA and the Girlfriend ARE STILL SLEEPING, I had to get out of the house before I killed someone. I get dressed to go to the gym, and Loghead is half asleep on the bed! I give him holy hell for letting PITA walk all over us once again, and I tell him how his ignorance of the problem simply adds to the passive agressive behaviors from PITA. I tell him I'm pissed at him now too. I tell him there will be no Saturday fun time later if they aren't awake and working when I get back from the gym and the store in an hour.
Gibby and I go to the gym and I relieve some stress. 45 minutes later, Loghead calls. He got a call to check on a jobsite for his side business, and it would result in $200 paycheck, so he'd left the house also. He said PITA and the Girlfriend are awake and cleaning the house, because PITA's roommate called and wanted to go back to the college town tonight. He said he told PITA not to leave town until I got back from the store and could approve all of the cleaning.
So I get home and Lazy Boye, PITA and the Girlfriend are cleaning the house like crazy. By now, I've let go of my stress, and I don't want the good-bye to be anger driven, so I don't say anything to either of them. But I think the Girlfriend and I will be getting dinner together this week so she and I can have a little chat... She needs to remember my house rules. She has no idea how close she came to losing her head today...
That does not mean Loghead or PITA are off the hook, though. PITA will be back next weekend for an ortho appt. I will say what I need to see when I have cooled off some...
So right now, Loghead is still at the jobsite. PITA is headed back to school. She's gone. Lazy boye is getting ready to go out with friends. House is clean. Just me and Gibby.
I'm perfectly content for now...
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Comments
Not sure I agree with the
Not sure I agree with the "doormat" assessment... I choose to pick my battles.... And maybe I am too nice, but I do try to keep the peace for the sanity of my household... I guess I should note that after PITA told us who the other boys were, we did know them, and they had stayed because the road to their house had flooded out when the rain came and melted all the snow yesterday.
Oh hell no! My mother would
Oh hell no! My mother would have had me and my GF by the scruff of the neck and the two mystery guests in the basement hog tied and cuffed waiting for the sheriff.
My parents were very welcoming with their home but there were behavior and courtesy expectations that every one of their sons and all of the associated friends knew. My brothers and I were expected to communicate with our friends and give them clarity on the rules. If there was a knock on the door and a kid needed a place to sleep for the night or if a game or movie night went too late for people to drive home it was always welcome but mom and dad knew about it before the first Zzzzzs were gained. It was my job and the mob of my brothers to knock on mom and dad's door and let them know.
It sounds to me that your SSs need some clarity on this. It is their job to give their friends clarity. I will recognize that your SS19 at least knew better to than to sleep with his GF in your home. For that he should be spared a major flogging.
Since the dawn of humanity
Since the dawn of humanity there has always been the risk that hormonal young adults will get knocked up or do the knocking up in their less than cerebral throws of hormonal passion. No one thinks about having a baby when trying to cop a nut when they are teens.
Unfortunatley this risk falls in the shit can happen column. Fortunately for those of us who are a bit older the risks of this happening were significantly more limited when we were navigating the hormonal rutting teen years than they are now. Reality shows glorifying teen pregnancy and motherhood, single parent families rapidly approaching the tipping point of being the majority of families, and a changing culture that thinks this is Okay.
Personally it makes me want to puke.
Not that I did not have the same risky behaviors when I was that age. Many people in their teens did and still do run these risks. I was just lucky as were the overwhelming majority of my friends. But on this topic I think luck has a lot do do with how effective young people are parented. Teens with involved parents who consistently set good examples and keep the risks communicated to their kids very likely make up a minimum of single teen parents even these days.
Too bad genitalia does not come with a quick disconnect so that parents can keep their children's junk safely locked up until the parent believes the kid is ready. I am not sure my mom would give me my junk yet. I will be 50 in a couple of weeks.
Unfortunately as two parent families become even more rare and multi father families become more prevelent we are in for far more of this crap going forward.