I made it through the whole weekend without arguing. I stayed far away from ss spend the night. The only time i said anything "parenty" was at 12:30am, dh was snoring but the kid he invited over was just talking and talking and they were banging ss bunkbed against the wall. So i shut that down. That was it though.

Well my good vibes ended yesterday...

Dh came home with this tude. I was making dinner i had baby girl trapped watching tv(using oil, i hate her in the kitchen while im frying she is so darn curious) he comes in barely says anything to me. Gets a bucket and gloves and cleans the one bathroom that him and ss use. I ignore it, i dont say anything because one less thing i have todo the next day, but it does get under my skin. I had to grocery shop yesterday and i was washing HIS work clothes. If he had just asked me i was going to work on the bathrooms today. Must be nice to not have to worry about a 3 yearold trying to help you clean. I know he wanted to say something about getting off work and cleaning-aww poor dh- but why do it? Why only clean one bathroom?

Well after dinner MIL stops by.

She stays till about 8pm. So before she leaves ss has babygirl chasing him. Im in the kitchen dh and MIL are at table watching ss let babygirl follow her into his room. No prob. Mil leaves. I get done dishes, dh is on an app on his phone. We talk about nothing important. Dh yells up to ss is she ok? Ss yells back yup putting on mickey mouse. Ok in my brain ill give her a few more minutes then go grab her- she is fine. (Im telling myself)

Dh starts talking about work. After about 5minutes i hear baby girl kind of make her scared noise/whiny noise. As im walking to the steps looking into ss room
I see ss room is black! Ss is kind of by the door with his cellphone.

I yell "why are your lights off?"

Him mubbly "uh well i want her out of my room, i need to use the bathroom, she keeps trying to climb my ladder."

Me pissed "so you turn your lights off to scare your 3 year old sister?? She is climbing your bunk ladder in the dark? You did not think to say hey guys can you get her? Or carry her out of the room?"

He turned the t.v. off and when that didnt work he turned the lights off on her, and yes he was trying to scare her out!! He has shit all over his floor, so yes lets let a scared 3 year old try to make her way out of your room without tripping!! Oh lets turn the lights out while she is mid climb on the bunk ladder, yeah thats smart!!!

He does it to my son, only a matter of time before he did it to her! Like your father just asked if she is ok...you could have said something then. I was trying not to be a worry freak, because i over react, but i knew he was going to do that... i knew it...thats why i keep my kids out of his room. He is a butthole.

Dh was right there saw the whole mess. So when i came down i said low to him "you need to talk to him about doing that, its not ok."

Well instead of a "i will" "i know" he is still in defend ss till i die mode. He goes "I know you want to argue, im not arguing with you, I will not argue tonight."

WHAT?!!!

How am i arguing? I want ss13 to understand that what he did was not safe-he is not listening to me about it. Hello he does this to my son! This is not the first time he tries to scare kids out of his room!!

Whatever im pissed. I start getting baby girl ready for bed, knowing i cannot let my guard down. My kids are not allowed in his room. They can kiss my worry wort butt.

So everyone is settled, im irritated. My brain is just going through angry thoughts. Mostly more times dh lets me down.

Then dh is like "so are YOU going to be Miserable the rest of the night? Can we put it behind us?"

WHAT? NO... i cannot put it behind me.

Him "i dont get why you want to live your life arguing and miserable all the time, i will talk to him, but i mean he played with her for like an hour-"

Me"oh i gotcha so that makes it ok? Hey you played with her for an hour so its ok to be mean after the hours up, ill remember that for nexttime." (And hello she was playing with MIL, while ss tried get mils attention, so it not like ss was byhimself watching babygirl)

Him "no its not ok, but you like to end everything in an argument...you just want to argue."

It gets muddled after this because im so angry, he keeps "slightly trying to make it right with throwing insults at me", the i repeat every mean thing he says so he can hear what he is saying to me!

I mean by the end of it he is telling me im a stupid over reactor, who is miserable and loves to argue...and im hard on his son, i do not let anything slide... he loves me, he signed up to deal with me.
Oh and the big one if he told me about my son we would not be married. (I guess i cannot handle when he tells me about my son?!)

Ugh hello! This has nothing to do with my kid, at this moment. All i wanted was a little backup!!! Im so down because it will never happen, and he is trying so hard to make me feel its ME!!

I would not let him. I did not let him go off topic. Then he got meaner as i kept repeating the rude things he was saying back to him. (I read that on a website, to not add to the hate, but just repeat the hurtful things they are saying)

Finally we just ended it we are both tired. Its not being resolved, everytime he tried to act like he was getting it he would keep talking and make it clear he still did not think it was a big deal.

Or made it seem that I should be apologizing?? Im sorry i called your kid out on scaring kids out of his room??

I just feel like the end is near. I wont back down. Im tired of brushing stuff under the rug. Im over the tiptoeing.