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It's off to work I go...

klc1977's picture

As I sit in my office today I am thinking about the long day/evening/night ahead of me. You see, I have to work 2 jobs to support my household because after child support, my husband puts about $700 per month into our bills...yes, you heard correct...$700 per month..that doesn't even cover our rent. So, as I sit here and think about leaving my real job 10 minutes early so I can get to my second job on time...the BM, SD, SS and their siblings by their BM are all on a plane to sunny Florida for a fabulous 7 day vacation. I haven't had a vacation in almost 2 years...and that was my honeymoon (which was mostly funded by wedding money and my parents) I am so bitter and I really don't know how to get through this without losing my mind. I feel like I am always in a bad mood becuase of finances and the husband just doesn't get it. So glad I found this site so I can vent. As usual, I will suck it up and go to work...

Comments

llorraine2373's picture

Hi,

I do feel your pain, and I am so sorry. I work 4 jobs (no joke) which ends up being 7 days a week and very long days. We used to pay 2 child support checks, but after winning custody we only pay 1 but we are still broke. The SD who lives with us demands high quality everything, eating out all the time, and driving everywhere. Narcissism they call it, Hell I call it. If she was even somewhat greatful, I would be less bitter-I'm so mad I can spit nails. I'm at my wits end, and her behavior is just awful on a normal day and reprehensible on a less than normal day.

Venting is very necessary-it keeps us from exploding. I hope you have a good day at work.

firefly25's picture

klc1977 - hang in there. I just found this site today as well! Thank goodness - sometimes just typing out the things that cause pain give a little relief! Your not alone out there - keep your chin up and do something good for yourself even if its is just 5 minutes. Smile

klc1977's picture

Thanks for the kind words! It is nice to know that there are people going through the same sort of things when it comes to being a step parent. It definitely isn't easy but it does have it's rewarding times too. Smile

smileygirl's picture

Good luck Girl! I'm in that boat with you and I know seeing non-working BM driving a brand new car and finding out that she just got a brand new home, all while I kill myself with no vacation and no honeymoon because I had "sell back" my vaction time to the company to pay the bills...because...as DH says NO, I don't support his Ex-wife and his kids...I support him (and our BS) so that he can support them.

Take Care and I hope you find sometime for yourself soon!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I work for myself and have to work 2 jobs. Out of 3 BMs only one works and doesn't even work a 40 hour week because she has constant drama. Out of the 30-something hours she is supposed to work she misses an average of a day every 2 weeks. Constant drama. She has no concept of having to plan around 2 jobs, deadlines, etc. She collects state aid for SD4 and lives with her dad, and is constantly bugging DH for money. He makes less than enough to pay his way. I make great money but refuse to enable him to give er money because she has plenty of money to play. She goes out with friends and her sister, has ATVs and goes on vacations. Then turns around after taking time off and complains about being broke. Very frustrating.

I feel your pain, ladies!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

I work for myself and have to work 2 jobs. Out of 3 BMs only one works and doesn't even work a 40 hour week because she has constant drama. Out of the 30-something hours she is supposed to work she misses an average of a day every 2 weeks. Constant drama. She has no concept of having to plan around 2 jobs, deadlines, etc. She collects state aid for SD4 and lives with her dad, and is constantly bugging DH for money. He makes less than enough to pay his way. I make great money but refuse to enable him to give er money because she has plenty of money to play. She goes out with friends and her sister, has ATVs and goes on vacations. Then turns around after taking time off and complains about being broke. Very frustrating.

I feel your pain, ladies!

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Why are you working 2 jobs and not your husband? He and his children are the reason you are tight on money after all, aren't they?? I couldn't imagine my husband having to pay child support. Thankfully their agreement states no support on either side, joint custody (for now) If we ever had to pay CS I would just die. I would be so resentful and bitter knowing that BM was benefiting from my hard earned money when she sits on her ass and collects from the government. I am sorry you have to work so hard to support BMs vacation!!!

klc1977's picture

Thanks for the comments Smile I should say that my husband used to work a second job but for us to be able to live, he has to take call every day...so...he is on call basically 24-7 and he gets to use a work vehicle, which is good, becuase there would be no way we could afford another car payment! For me, what makes all of this so aggravating is both BM's have good jobs! One is a teacher and has been for 15 years and the other is a Radiology Tech and has been for probably 20 years. We are very close to getting an attorney and having the child support re-evaluated. A big part of this is my husbands fault because he just doesn't want to deal with the drama that comes with the whole child support issue but I am at my wits end and something will be done about it or I will have to seriously consider MY options. Don't want to leave because I really do love him and the kids but I also don't want to work my life away...ya know??!!

number5's picture

:sick: After reading everyone's post, I feel sick. I am in the same boat. I am with a man who has been married four times. He already told me he will never marry me. Said he isn't good at being married. However, he expects me to be a "wife" to him. He pays forty percent of his pay to CS because he has two kids with two different BM. He said he cannot work a 2nd job because his BM's would just take him back for more support. I am a Nurse and work 50-60 hours per week. I make great money but am always broke. Whenever, his kids come over, I have to pay for everything for them. He only pays half the mtg. and his truck payment. I pay for everything else. I mean everything. I have been with him for three years. I want to leave him, but he begs me not to pick money over him. He said everyone always leaves him. I feel guilty, but no one understands why. He tells people he bought me a motorcycle. I thought he did too, until he handed me the payment booklet. I knew he couldn't afford it. He said he had it, no problem. He was getting an increase in pay soon. Well, EX#3 took him to court and increased her support by almost $300 per month. So there is the motorcycle payment. I need to go but I do not know how. I am smart and stupid all at the same time. Help in Texas.