Nothing left to give!!
So where do I even begin. Things have gotten way off track between me & SD13. Me & DH got married when she was 6 and it has been a rocky road to say the least. I blame most of the rocky road on myself, for allowing DH, BM, & SD to walk all over me (I allowed this because I thought I should for DH...BIG mistake) And I blame DH & BM...DH for letting SD & BM run our lives, allowing the world to revolve around SD. And I blame BM for filling SD head with crap & being an awful mother to SD. I feel like I have tried my hardest & given so many fresh starts but I just have nothing left to give.
I guess since DH & I have had our own daughters I just can't sit back & let things happen like I used to. SD & I had a "decent" relationship but Now that I look back, it was only a good relationship because the world revolved around her. My DH was so upset one day because in his own words "had to say no to SD" and that made him very upset :? I tell my BD's no all the time & feel no sadness. I guess it's because of the daddy guilt that he has from the divorce of SD BM that makes him that way.
BM is single & when SD13 is there she lives with her BM & her sister18 from BM first marriage. It is a party house & anything goes. I know what kind of influence SD13's sister is on her & over my dead body will I allow my BD4 & BD6 to have an influence like that. SD13 has admitted that she has no feelings for mine & DH BD's. Maybe it's because when I was pregnant with them SD13's BM told her "she hopes the baby in my belly dies"
I don't want anything to do with SD or BM anymore but I know that it's not fair to my DH to put him in that position, but I just can't take it anymore.
Anyone else feel the same way? Hopeless??
- KJMom's blog
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Thanks Stv3...I wish I had
Thanks Stv3...I wish I had advice for myself Lol. I am always the person everyone looks to for advice with relationships, but ironically I can't help myself in this one I feel like I am a different person because of the situation I am in. I am sad, sometimes a bit#h when I feel my BD's are in harms way of SD & BM, & just an anxiety stressed mess. I went into this marriage quite blind...thinking we were all going to be a big happy family...well I was terribly wrong! I was naive & never knew how nasty people could be.
I guess I am hurt that for the past 6 years of our marriage I was never a priority, he was never my protector. He was always SD protector. & I always always on the back burner. I feel that I deserve better & so do my BD's.