Listening the first time
SS5 has always been a little entitled I the way that he does what he wants and has a hard time listening if it something he doesn't want. He was raised by his gma a lot as a child and she's wrapped around his little finger (which is fine, she's his gma not his mom) because they were 20 when they had him and but his mom babies and bends to him just as much. Apologies for the awkward run on sentences.
Point is his teacher mentioned him not listening and we've been working it on our end, although we were already and I feel like it's not going anywhere. I'm just yelling too much and I'm not proud just frusterated. I know he will catch on, I know it will take time and it's probably this on top of everything else that's making it seem worse. I already feel better from the vent.
Plus we had him since last Monday till this Friday which is the longest we've ever had him because bm is helping her mom move back from out of state so bm can live with her. Because thats her only option.. making her mom uproot her life with her elementary school aged children to move back to support her mid twenty something daughter. But they are two peas in a pod when it comes to putting the young ones first.
So any advice on getting kids to listen and gentle discipline I will take :). Maybe I'm just stuck in a rut with my methods. For the record yelling is not a method lol just a tired frustrated reaction I'm sad I've done too many times in the past couple days. I'm all for the louder your in trouble listen to me voice but not the crackly I'm about to lose my shit one.
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Comments
I am not sure that at only 5
I am not sure that at only 5 I would define his behavior as being entitled. Most kids at that age are still learning that they need to do what's asked of them, even if it's not what they want. My BD9 and SD7 always have a "but, but..." when I ask them to do something they don't want to do. If BM and GMA always bend to his wishes then he needs to learn that that sort of thing doesn't fly at your house.
I find that the most effective system for punishment/reward is to let them know what privileges they have, and that those privileges will be taken away if their behavior doesn't meet your expectations. At our house it's usually iPad and dessert. For example, I'll tell the girls that they need to finish their homework before they can go in the playroom. If they don't finish it or give me any crap about getting it done, then they won't have dessert that night. They are pretty food motivated, so it works. Bad behavior results in loss of iPad privileges, which is a fate worse than death to SD and BD.
I would practice active
I would practice active listening and make them repeat in their own words back to you what you mean when you tell them something. 5 is a tough age and I think it's important to be consistent with follow through.
For example.. you tell him to pick up his toys.
Then, you ask him.. now what did I ask you? He says "pick up my toys" ... and then you ask and where are you going to put them? "Back in my room in the toybox"
Then, 20 minutes later when he is in the other room and toys still on the floor, you go to him and ask what he was supposed to do. He may say "I forgot.. or he might remember.. then you say, well, you need to go do it now. I will watch you do it.
If you get fuss and back talk then... start letting him know what privilege will be taken away (dessert.. go to bed early etc..) and then follow through if he doesn't comply.
This is what I do actually, i
This is what I do actually, i have faith it will work eventually just not seeing it yet. It maybe ten times of repetition with either no response or stop saying that (him telling me to stop repeating it) then this is the consequence and either crying, angry face or a fit. I feel like everythings gonna have to get taken away and we're gonna have to live like nuns before the message gets through.