I have lurked on ST for a while and responded to a couple of posts in the past, however, this is my first blog. I really need a place to vent.

My H and I have been married for nine months. We have both been married before and have one DS each. Mine is 11 and his is 19. I have not met his son yet, as he lives in another state and they have not spoken for a year (I'll have to make a future blog for that). My H's son is not from his previous marriage, but from a prior relationship that lasted on/off for about ten years.

I haven't met BM and don't care to (she lives in another state with their son). The relationship was quite drama filled IMO. When their son was one, she married another man since H didn't want to marry her. The marriage lasted only two years. During that time, she had two more kids, a daughter now 17 and a son now 16. Since she and my H couldn't keep their hands off each other, it was believed they were his also until they were around 10/11 years old. DNA testing showed the girl belonged to her H at the time and the boy beolonged to a totally random man not even in the original equation! BM's H had left her when the two of them were babies. My H thought they were his up until they were 10/11, so he decided to stay in their life and be a father to them. I have no problem with that, as a matter of fact, I was impressed when he told me about it while we were dating.

My H relocated to the state we live in around 6 years ago. His son came with him and stayed until he finished HS and went back to stay with BM and go to the local college there. That was about three years ago. A year after that, he found out from relatives the other two kids were being beaten by BM really bad. She was adopted and was abused, so she did the same thing. When I say abused, I'm referring to beating them with all sorts of objects such as broomsticks. Her family members were turning their heads to the situation, so H decided to get guardianship and move them to his state. This happened a year and half before we met.

The kids are respectful to me and I haven't had any real issues out of them so far. The problem is their mother. She acts as if she has no responsibilities. She is in her 40's and can't pay her housenote ( a habitat home)and sends no money for the kids. She has this attitude like she is entitled nd I'm wondering, WTF? These are not his bio kids, he doesn't have to take care of them. There have been times he's gotten frustrated with their behavior and threatened to send them home and her response is they can't come here. Like hell!

However, I can't fault just her because my H enables that feeling of entitlement by allowing her to continue to be a scrub. She currently gets close to $1,000 in CS from the ex husband. Since they were married during the birth of both kids, he is paying for both of them even though the boy is not his. My H nor the kids ever see any of that money. He just took both of them school shopping and she has not offered anything. Yet, he can speak to her about the kids civily like they're coparents or something.

I got really pissed off with him today because he calls me on his way to work and commences to tell me that he called her to get her to send SS16's SS card for school registration (we moved to a new district) and then asked her about SS19. I told him that first of all, he could've sent that request in a text. Secondly, SS19 is grown, if he is concerned then he can put differences aside and csll him directly. I don't want a situation where when these two are grown within the next two years, him thinking there will be reason to talk to her.

Of course, H said I was over reacting, but I know I'm not. I am currently pregnant and due next month. I have gotten more aggravated with this situation as my pregnancy has progressed. Every time he has to shell out a big sum of cash on them, I think about how that money should be going toward our baby. We both make good salaries, but I just don't like money going from our household to her offspring while she does nothing. I believe everyone should be esponsible for children they produce with the exception of chronic illness or disability.

Like I mentioned, earlier, I've never met her but i don't like her. Her daughter got upset with my H a few months ago and made the statement, "Mommy was right, you're having a baby to replace SS19 because he is gay." I was very upset because my pregnancy is none of her business and she was trying to imply that my baby was not really wanted by H, but a replacement. A couple of months ago, H's aunt died. She asked her son if H was coming to town for the funeral. Why would she want to know that? Another thing she did was shortly after we were married, I found a text where she asked him for a picture ofhim and the kids. I told him we'll take a family portrait after the baby is born and send it to her.

How in the hell do these men talk to these women like their normal human beings after they walki over them and take advantage of them? My ex husband pays support on time but he is not involved with DS11 otherwise. I have spoken to him on the phone about three times in the past ten years. He would make promises to my son and never follow through. For that reason alone, he is a deadbeat father just like BM is a deadbeat mother and I don't have the desire to talk to him. If it is something I really need to tell him about our son, I'll send an email. I don't see why my H feels the need to call this skank about anything.

I'm sorry this was so long,but i really needed to get it of my chest. Notice, I did not refer to him as DH, only H. When I think of him at this moment, Dear isn't a word that comes to mind!