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Step son

K.b1312's picture

Me and my husband have been married for about 16 months now. We've been together 4 years. He has a son who's 4. I think he was about 4 months old when we met. When his ex found out we were together she stopped access to his son. He went to court twice to get access and I stood by him every single step of the way. Fast forward 3 years and we're married and I'm pregnant. When his demon child comes over I start staying in bed until he goes home or I spend all the time in my bedroom. he only has to mention his name and I feel like throwing up in my mouth. I, however have addressed this situation with my husband and told him I actually hate his child. I make no secret that he's a little brat and how much he annoys me. The first 3 years we were together I tolerated him and made an effort, an effort I wouldn't even make with my own kids. I have 2 girls now 12 and 8. They were 8 and 4 when we first met. About 2 years after we met, we'd moved in together and he would take my girls to and from school and lookafter then while I was at work (his offering) one day out of the blue he texts me and tells me how much my kids annoy him. He even sent me screenshots of this forum. I was stupid enough to work with him. I admit my kids were a tad annoying. My youngest had a love relationship with food and was constantly asking for food. Which I worked hard to change her. I only worked with him because he would look after the girls when I was in work. My children are not perfect but they know respect and manners. They know how things should be treated and how people should be treated. His runt has no form of manners, discipline or respect.  Me and my husband have regular arguments because when his child is here I run to the bedroom and avoid him as much as possible. He's always ill, coughing, sneezing and spluttering everywhere. Never covers his mouth and never washes his hands. He's fowl and disgusting. We have him 2 nights a week and those 2 nights a week I want to leave my husband because I cannot tolerate his child. His ex gf is always asking for favours from my husband regarding their son. And I always and okay 'why do you do her favours? When she made you go to court twice?' She has never disciplined her child. She only feeds him shit food. His diet consists of chocolate, sweets, chicken nugget and chips. And my husband had the cheek to bitch about my child who would eat too much healthy food. She never gets his hair cut, he often looks like a tramp. He's always covered in snot and dirt and then he tried to touch my baby! Eww, no! Those court periods were really hard for us and took a toll on our relationship. We broke up a few times. I hate his child so much I really don't know how to move forward as a family. He knows I dislike him and when he's here I make sure my husband takes hin out and away from me.

Comments

Monkeysee's picture

Does your husband still look after your girls when you’re at work? Does he not work or does he do shift work? Either way it sounds like you both need to disengage from each other’s kids, if he’s bitching about your girls this clearly isn’t working for him either. I know it’s hard but if BM & DH are fine with their child running feral you need to let go of that if you want to stay with your DH. If you can’t then maybe this isn’t the right relationship for you, you shouldn’t have to hide in your own home. What kind of a life is that?

tog redux's picture

You guys need to split up. Do all of the kids a favor and give up on this relationship, it's not fair for his kid to live with someone who hates him so much, and your kids annoy your SO, too.  Neither of you seem willing to work with the other one in parenting your kids better so there can be peace in the house.  And the level of vitriol you have for a preschooler is unhealthy for all of you.

I'm not clear why you got pregnant when you are so unhappy in the situation, but that doesn't mean you have to stay.

twoviewpoints's picture

First, a question. How did you go from being pregnant in one sentence to SS putting snotty hands on your baby in a following sentence....almost seemed you gave birth mid blog?

Kes's picture

I agree you should split up.  It's not fair on a 4 yr old to be called a demon child, foul and disgusting, by someone who hates him.   He's a small child.  

tog redux's picture

Agreed,  it's horrible. He's a little boy whose parents can't be bothered to give him a bath or a haircut, wipe his nose or teach him manners. He should be pitied, not called names.

Disneyfan's picture

You hate his kid.  He isn't crazy about your kids.  Instead of walking away, both "adults" decide to play house, get married AND add another kid to this house of horrors.

Why do some kids get stuck with such clueless parents???  All of the stepkids involved should go live with their other bio parent.  Unfortunately, the poor ours kid(or is it kids)will be stuck with these two.

beebeel's picture

Uhg. Get yourself some therapy and if your girls have different fathers, some permanent birth control. And where are your girls when you're hiding out in your bed because you HATE a preschooler?

K.b1312's picture

They actually have the same father. We were together 9 years. They are at their dad's house when as is here.

Lodo27's picture

I'm sorry you're dealing with demon child and I'm even more sorry others on here aren't being more understanding of your situation. It's not like you had a child with this man to fix things, much less to make things worse. I think counseling is crucial at this point! It also sounds like your husband was very kind in helping you out and I gotta say, it's understandable for anyone, even a saint, to be annoyed with someone else's child. Maybe throw the guy a bone. He is trying to be a dad after all, even if it is the Disney dad we all despise! I hate my possible future SS too, he's gross and just ugh! Maybe we should both jump ship while we have the chance!