Food issues and skids
notastepyet's blog got me thinking about skids and food. I know kids in general can be picky but it seems like such an on going issue with the kids on this site. I am beginning to think the issue has a lot to do with wanting attention and/or trying to see how far you'll let them go.
I say this because I noticed something with Ss this past weekend when we went to dinner for my brothers birthday. We went to Claim Jumper and at this restaurant they give you bread with marinara sauce while you wait for your food. Anyway, Ss LOVES bread. Well when we got there dh cut him some bread and placed it in front of him. Ss started to wig out saying he didn't like it and didn't want it. Surprisingly Dh didn't try to fight him on it or anything, he simply pulled the plate away and didn't say a word, I could tell he was annoyed. Ss kind of had an facial expression like 'wtf' lol. Anyway, after the food came Ss didn't touch his food and began eating the bread he previously said he didn't like. It was ridiculous. Thankfully Dh took the break from Ss's reach and firmly told him to eat his food.
I wonder if these kids do this just to act out to get a reaction???
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You know you have a great
You know you have a great point here. I remember being like this as a child, my parents didn't split until I was an adult of course, however as a child I remember going to friends houses for dinner or family dinners and I'd noticed how different everything was from what my mother made. My mom was very firm with us though and always told us people don't have to do anything for you including feeding you so you should always be thankful and eat anything you were given, even if you didn't eat it all, just try it and say thank you. I think this is my problem w/ Ss. he doesn't try food, he sees that it isn't pizza or hamburger and has a fit. However that is due to poor parenting lol.
I'd accept that thinking if
I'd accept that thinking if "mommy" actually cooked.
Older as actually said "this doesn't taste like KFC from home" when we got KFC one night for dinner. (Trying to give them things BM said they liked)......kid, the colonels recipie is the same no matter where you go.
We don't buy expensive take out anymore.
When people feel out of
When people feel out of control of their lives, food is often one area they feel like they DO control. It would make sense that more skids than kids in a nuclear family would have food issues. Is that the whole story? No. But it's an often ignored part.
IMHO the way to deal with the issue is to allow them the control, but in a way that doesn't bug the crap out of the parent. In our house, we had a rule that you either ate what was made, or you were allowed to make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. If you didn't want that, you could go hungry. No snacks except fruit, which you could have anytime.
Good luck with your skids.
Great comment Deedee! That is
Great comment Deedee! That is So true about feeling out of control and acting out in that way. I agree, that part is often ignored-matter of fact, i didn't even think about it getting ignored until I read your comment. That is something to take into consideration.
I don't know. I'm a terrible
I don't know. I'm a terrible picky eater. Always have been, always will be. I have no idea where it came from other than I have serious issues with texture. I can not, will not eat anything that is squishy (blueberries, cherries, tomatoes, etc) however I like the flavor.. so I will blend blueberries and raspberries up in the blender and make a smoothie and that is fine, I love pizza, spaghetti and ketchup but would pull my eyelashes out one by one before I would ever eat a tomato. I just can NOT do it!
My BS4 is TERRIBLE fussy just like me. When he first started eating baby food, he ate everything.. even prunes. But slowly he started turning his nose up at everything until he would only eat sweet potatoes and bananas. It is quite maddening. And the kid won't even try a hot dog or macaroni and cheese or any of the normal "kid" food.. but he'll go out in the garden and eat spinach and broccoli. lol
Let's hope that DH and I don't ever divorce and BS should end up with a SM because I'm sure she'll be here complaining about what a horrible BM I am
Ya know, that is true. I have
Ya know, that is true. I have cousins who just can't eat some food, one in particular has texture too, I feel so bad for him so i feel for you. .
ahh Dd is going on 8 months and I pray everyday she doesn't have issues in the future-I'm terrified lol.
I'm the same! I can't handle
I'm the same! I can't handle certain textures, tastes, even smells. It's related to my ADD, and it's caused some problems with my SO in the past. I tell him I literally cannot do anything about it, I cannot just push through it and eat stuff anyway.
My SD can be picky. But she's frustratingly inconsistent with it. My home made stroganoff, which is usually her favourite meal? Yeah, last time I made it she said the meat was too "tough." What she meant was chewy. Point is, she sat there picking at her food for half an hour. She had maybe one small mouthful every five minutes.
She was so upset one time when SO and I told her she had to eat maybe a tablespoon of spinach- not even a heaped spoon- that she started picking at it with her fingers. Then cried when I told her off.
My skid is not picky at all
My skid is not picky at all which is awesome. I am incredibly picky and always was as a kid. For the most part, my pickyness has a lot to do with not being willing to try new foods (I have texture issues as well). I have a lot of anxiety from my parents pushing pretty hard and making a big deal out of trying new foods, then I got special meals when I didn't like what my mom made (they kind of contradicted themselves huh?). My parents are still married so this had nothing to do with anything like that.
When my skid did start showing signs of pickyness earlier on, it was for attention, and then they showed some stress when too much pressure was put on trying something. I encouraged skid to "sneak" trying new foods so that no one was watching and it wasn't as big of a deal. This worked well. It probably does have to do with seeking attention or stress.
That is exactly how skid2 is.
That is exactly how skid2 is. I made a delicious meal from scratch this weekend, one that his parents normally prepare from a box. It was RIDICULOUS. He pulled the "Gross!" act while scarfing it down.
BM thinks she is Gordon Ramsey or something in the kitchen, when in reality most of what she makes is frozen or from a box. She will talk up her cooking skills to anyone with ears, and so we hear it through the skids ad nauseum. "Oh it's Taco Tuesday and mom is going to make the BEST tacos in the universe!" "Mom's lasagna is amazing!" and my very favorite "Mom's pancakes are better because she makes them with love!" :jawdrop:
I could cook the exact same Stouffer's frozen lasagna, and he'd call it gross.
Needless to say I don't cook for them very often.
Yeah, we had to resort to
Yeah, we had to resort to lying to my skids to get them to eat stuff at our place. SD would only eat homemade pizza or Pizza Hut. We wanted to do a Take N Bake. We told her it was Homemade Pizza Hut. She scarfed it up. SS would eat canadian bacon but not ham. I got sick of having turkey for EVERY major holiday they were there. So, we told him it was Roast Beast and he ate it without a complaint.
We had to resort to this because of what had happened previously. SD had complained to her mother that she was hungry when we took them back one Sunday. BM mountained that molehill into we were STARVING the poor girl! In reality (and if she wasn't a psycho, she would have ASKED before freaking out!), SD just didn't LIKE what we had made, said she was full and then threw the food into the garbage or fed it to the dog. So, yeah, she was hungry...by choice! She could have ate what we made. She could have even spoke up and said she didn't like it (or didn't want to try it more likely).
Instead, we had to end up at the same restaurant that BM decided to take them to (it was her MO to never cook and take skids out to restaurants where SD would ALWAYS have chicken strips) and have BM screeching at us as we were leaving that we were STARVING her poor baby daughter...in front of a crowd of strangers....right after my DH asked me to marry him. UGH What a great memory of our engagement.
The food fight, yes it is an
The food fight, yes it is an on going issue here. I don't fight it never will.
Kids eat and like what they are a custom to eating.
Crazo their mother does not cook at all, they eat out. When I met DH, I asked then FSD9 if she wanted to go to the grocery store with me, we went to Publix, and she look at me and said I thought we were going to the grocery store, I said sweetie, this is the grocery store, she said my mommy grocery shops a Wal-greens. Enough said...Milk and cereal was all she knew.
I will not eat what I don't like so why would expect the skids too. It took a while for us all to adjust. DH started from the very beginning. If we cook you can eat it or you can have a pbj and a piece of fruit no exceptions. (they ate no fruit at the time, they both hated all fruit ).
I did this with my bio, who is not a picky eater. Eat what I cook or have a PBJ.
I also told them your taste changes. I didn't eat broccoli until my late 20's and just last year I started liking asparagus. Never once did we make them eat something they did not like. Over time, they started trying new and different things...
Now they eat most things we cook. They even like green things and fruit.....
Everyone adjusts...it just takes time.
You know I think this is the
You know I think this is the issue w/ ss too, dh says bm didn't know how to cook when they were together and she's so lazy im sure she hasn't suddenly picked it up in the last 5 years so Ss isn't used to food that is actually cooked. It's gotten even worse now that she moved out of her moms place (her mom cooked food).
I never forced the kids to
I never forced the kids to eat certain items that kids usually hate.
I think this is why they'll eat just about anything I make and fight over the leftovers.
I was just thinking about what another poster said about the family being used to your cooking. I have been told by many people in and out of the family that I'm a great cook, but really I don't feel like it's anything exceptional more that it's what family are used to.
I make a lot of things from scratch with very fresh or home grown ingredients so it's not me so much as what I have to work with.
Forgot to add they will eat
Forgot to add they will eat any kind of vegetables but son hates fruit and daughter hates salad.
Son loves veggies though and salad hating daughter makes up for it by eating fruits veggies and fruit juice.
They also prefer iced tea or water and don't suck down one soda after another all day
IDK how I got so lucky with mine.
If I did anything to deserve it I don 't remember
I was a hellion in my youth(blushing with shame)