Lady, All I can say is that I have been there and done that. It just depends on how much you can stand and how far you are willing to go. That was the first time that my heart was ripped out of my body and stomped on the floor. I am a much stronger person now than I was before and eventually you will be too.

I am so sorry to hear of this Kay. I think what you need to do first is to figure out if you want to continue on with your marriage...if you do, then you need to ask yourself honestly if you can forgive him for this. If your answer is yes to both of those questions, get yourselves into counselling to see if you can salvage your marriage.

From past experience when a partner fooled around on me....I had to look deep within the relationship. It's unfortunate, but sometimes you have a partner that just needs the thrill to stray. Trust is something you will have to rebuild if you plan on working things out between you.

I have been in your position before and my heart seriously goes out to you...it is so difficult to deal with. PM me anytime you want. I may not be able to offer the advice you need, but I can offer support.

Hugs,
Corie

to be checking his telephone bills. Will you ever be able to trust him again? If you are going to give him a second chance, it will be his responsibility to try to win back your trust.

You deserve far better than this.

...to the little voice that told you to check the cell phone bill. That little voice seldom lies.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

Make sure you get ledgible copies of all the phone bills. Make several copies and give them to people that you trust for safe keeping.

I don't know what is worse, the possibility of cheating, or the lying!! I have been in this exact situation before, more than once even...shame on me. When something like this happens, it sets you up for a whole bunch of trust issues with this person, then it becomes a terrible game of him trying to prove that he can be trusted, and you having to "check behind him". It is no way to go through life. I chose to leave the relationship, and I will never again put up with anything even remotely close to that again. I know now that I'm worth more.I cannot put up with someone who lies, or cheats.....I'm only cheating myself if I do. Be strong in whatever decision, and don't settle for less than what you really want.~ " I started out clean, now, I'm jaded"~ Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20

he's up tp something. I have two coworkers at work that do the same thing-they only talk at work and text at work and they are both married. Everyone knows about it, but no one says anything.....

I would say he one thing positive....

He admitted he had a relationship with another woman. Even if he is lying about the depth, this is more than the man I was involved with EVER did for his wife, even years after it's ended he has never told her and we still email occasionally. We have been friends since high school- lost touch for years and I looked him up when I got divorced. We both lied to ourselves about how we felt about each other, and in the beginning I asked to meet his wife several times, in an attempt to become friends with both of them to keep it on the up and up. He would never introduce us (red flag that it's not just a friend.)

So...I would say your demand is couples' therapy or he moves out. I am not saying this is your fault at all, BUT if you want to work out the marriage, then you will need to find out what he feels is "missing" for him with you, that he feels the need to have a female friendship that doesn't include you. In my case his wife hated that he was a musician, and didn't support him, barely tolerated it, and was jealous, even of his guitar. I am a theatre person and was crazy about his music. That's the main reason it happened. That was missing for him at home and it was a huge part of who he is.

Anyway, therapy...and no more contact with the friend. His email password should be made available to you and let him know you will continue to track his cell calls. If he complains about trust tell him he's broken it and will have to earn it back.

Hope that helps.

“I never gave away anything without wishing I had kept it; nor kept it without wishing I had given it away.” ~Louise Brooks

Kay...

I have been through this before. What I did was I called the number and asked that person point blank, what is the nature of your relationship w/my BF?? that took her aback.. this actually happened w/2 different women.. and I called BOTH.. the 2nd one was married, so I left a message on HER home machine so that her DH could hear it. Wanted to know WHY the need to call and text? Also, could you please stop.

BF was not happy that I called these women.. TO BAD, as I explained to him, if he hadnt made the calls to begin with, then I wouldnt have had to make the follow up calls.

I had a gf that went through a similiar situation. Her dh was cheating w/a married co-worker. She figured out the password to his cell and checked his messages. He had been continuously saying they were just friends. She checked the messages and all doubt was removed. She then went to the house of the female co-worker and informed her DH when he answered the door.

Call them on it. It gives you SANITY!

Sorry, my heart goes out to you.

after my divorce I started dating a guy who was fun and who seemed very caring..then i started to notice little things..he would have his voice mail turned way down so I couldnt hear his calls when he didnt answer them, wouldnt be able to go out cuz he was not feeling good, or a friend was sick or he had some other committment then one day while he was at work I went on his computer to email a friend and noticed several dating sites on his favorites, then with further investigation I found pictures of him with other women, dated the same time as we were going out.
that feeling is awful. I confronted him and he denied denied, but I realized that I couldnt trust him and left.
Unfortunately it took me a long time to trust another man.
good luck kay- what ever decision you make the path will be hard, but not forever!!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

Kay, the bf that was chatting w/these other two women.. he would keep his phone on vibrate!