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Close to One Year and Have not spoke to SS21 - Feel really hurt

karenemoy's picture

Ok it has been close to one year and I have not spoken to SS21 - he left for rehab for the 5th time in January and moved back into the state 6 months ago. He is trying to make amends to my DH which is fine - DH knows how I feel and when his name is mentioned we usually land up in a fight.

I thought SS and I were close but I have come to the very sad realization that SS21 never gave a crap about me at any point over the last 10 years. My DH says it was the drugs but really!? - at some point you sober up and realize what you did and how you used people. I am pretty sure there is a step for that.

I am beyond hurt - I see him now for what he really is and he will always be nothing but a mooch; even now that is he clean. Only he can’t mooch from me and his dad anymore - now he can only mooch off his crazy BM. So I figure since I will no longer give him anything he does not need to contact me - so crystal clear.

Unfortunately I have to see SS21 at my DH's birthday party next month at our home. I am just going to say hello and then ignore him - I really do not want to hear any of his crap.

If SS21 asks for a beer his sorry ass will be thrown out!

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ThatGirl's picture

SS19 (or is he 20 now?) is in a "sober living" house. He's been there about two months now. He was arrested nearly a year ago. SO tried to get him into this place back then, but he refused and opted to live with BM and let her drive him around to all of his court dates and whatnot. We had very little contact with him at that time, which was more than fine with me. After failing a pee test and going back to jail, he decided that SO was right all along and moved away and into this home. Since then, SO's phone is ringing constantly. I cringe every time I hear it. I feel bad, because it's great that the boy appears to be doing well now, and SO is so very proud of him, but I think it's too soon to know for sure. What I do know for sure is that I'll never be comfortable in his presence after everything he's done to us.

Grin and bear it at the birthday party, that's what I do. I also make sure the kid's got a ride home (no way he's staying the night). Oh, and hide anything he can steal and don't let him alone in any room of your home Wink

karenemoy's picture

I know I still jump when DH's cell phone rings - at one point it was only bad news! My SS was in two sober living houses - the first one he got kicked out of.

My DH knows SS cannot spend the night - SS has his own car so he can drive himself him. When SS21 moved back into the state DH told him he cannot stop by. He came by once to pick up some stuff but could only come when I was not there.

ThatGirl's picture

Do you suppose that some day when these boys are all squared away that they might actually come and apologize to us? Maybe even thank us for all that we had done for them? Something actually sincere, rather than the made up BS we get whenever they are in trouble or need something??