I know most of you think I need to give up...
But, DH is headed to SS state in less than a month and we can't get BM to respond. Here is the text:
BM,
I am contacting you to let you know I will be in the state for a family members wedding on XXdate in Ptown. I was wondering if SS could possibly join me there? If so, would my mother be able to pick him up on her way to the wedding since I am flying into Ktown which is closer to the wedding. I would like to keep SS for the weekend and have him at school on Monday morning. Additionally I was also wondering if the Jr. High was having any football games that week so that I may be able to arrange my flights to see SS play.
Respectfully
Justmakingthebest DH
He sent that on Monday afternoon, he copied and pasted that exact message in an email and sent it yesterday morning. No word. Does he keep texting her daily for a response? Does he add anything else?
She told the judge in April that she would never keep SS away from DH when he came to SS state. -- OF COURSE we know this to be a lie, but she was on the stand this time when she said it. The judge even wanted to know how much military leave time he had because that time could be spent in SS state with SS (Not time with the rest of his family, not time for vacation, etc-- only SS get's daddy's leave time! Thank God DH doesn't believe that!!).
Keep in mind, we already know the football game schedule, I called the school. We also know that parent teacher conferences are that week and DH is planning on going. We just want to see if BM will #1 allow SS to see DH when he flies to the state, #2 disclose any information about things like games or conferences.
At this point I am almost hoping she refuses to respond. It might help if we go back to court.
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He's not very assertive in
He's not very assertive in that email. Just my opinion, but I probably would have been a bit more business like and included the 'per your April statements in court at the hearing, I will be coming to your state during the weekend of x and planing on having visitation with jr'.... went more with the expectation that he would indeed be seeing and allowed to have Jr (after all, she testified kid's home state was free game).
She likely still would have ignored him, but if his goal was to document his request and any response or lack of response , not sure he should have come across as seeing his son was strictly at BM's mood of the day.
And no, resending text daily is unnecessary . Adding anything else to already sent text until or unless he actually recieves an answer is too little too late. His request has already been recieved.
So maybe something like:
So maybe something like:
BM,
I am following up from my last text and email. When we were in court in April, you testified that you had no problem with me having parenting time with our son when I was in SS state. Please respond and let me know if Grandma can pick SS up for a family wedding and spend the weekend with me for the dates of Sept. X--Y. Also, in an effort to Co-parent, would you please advise of any upcoming football games so that I may book my flight accordingly. I am purchasing tickets today.
--- Then if she doesn't respond just send it to the laywer?
I don't think you need to
I don't think you need to give up. I just think you need to be smart about it. Last thing you want is a judge feeling like you're wasting his time, that doesn't end well for anyone.
I like the second email you posted, it sounds more assertive. He was almost OVERLY polite in the first one and it made it seem like he was being a timid kitten that would bend to BM's will.
Also as far as football games... Most high schools have schedules online! So he could look it up and just surprise his son!
We already got the schedule
We already got the schedule from the school and he was planning on showing up, it just sucks.
We have found that if we act too assertive she shuts down and refuses to respond to anything. It has to be this gradual increase of authority. She is such a B but we have no control at all so we are stuck doing what we have to.
Personally I like the TV News
Personally I like the TV News idea but since it is a little over the top and I imagine that DH would say no to it, the second more assertive email is a good idea, I would personally copy my lawyer on it so BM sees that the layer is also receiving it and maybe that would spook her into compliance, maybe not but never hurts.