Facebook- Spin off post
Ss14 is still not communicating with DH at all. He is blocked from his phone, messenger, instagram, FB messenger, facetime. We are still "friends" on facebook though. He has all his posts set to a private setting so that none of us can see anything on his wall other than what we post with him.
A couple of days ago there was a post by him with "Content Unvailable". There were comments on it, DH and I looked and this is when we figured out that he is active on FB but he is blocking us. I am sure that the only reason we are "friends" is so that BM can spy on us. Part of that is funny to me because DH and I live an active and full life. We date, we have fun, we do lots of things with SS18 and my bios. My FB looks like a blast! The other part of me is pissed. I told DH that I am over it, I am having trouble sleeping, I am angry. SS14's behavior is seriously affecting me. I want to block him so that I can just take that step back.
DH wants me to wait until after the cruise. He gives me his blessing to do it then, but since SS14 tried to show the GAL pictures from a beer, bacon and burbon festival that we went to as PROOF that DH is a no good alcoholic he is afraid that if I block SS it will look like I am hiding something. The GAL stated that going to a festival does not make DH or I alcoholics, and does not believe that we are, however he is still trying to gain SS14's trust so he is listening to his concerns.
The GAL has sent whatever formal paperwork to BM's attorney stating that SS14 will be going on the cruise with us. That it is the court ordered visitation time and he agrees that SS should be there and if BM doesn't send him she will be in contempt. Our lawyer said that with it being in our agreement as DH's parenting time and the fact that the GAL is backing it means that she will be in major trouble (yeah right) if he doesn't get on the plane.
I still don't think that SS will act like a jacka$$ when he get's to us. I think he will act like nothing ever happened and be his old self. I am sure as soon as he returns to BM he will go back to how he is now within a couple of days, but while he is with us, it won't be any big deal. I think the truth of the matter is, he is embaressed by his actions and is afraid to be face to face. Worst case scenario, he acts like a jackhole and we and the other kids just separate from him. No biggie, we are on the 2nd biggest ship in the fleet. There is tons of room for us to ignore him.
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Go to Facebook click on SS14
Go to Facebook click on SS14's page, where it says friends, click on the drop down, click on Add to Another List...scroll down and choose restricted.
SS will no longer see any of your posts, he can still see your page but no content.
Go to Facebook click on SS14
DUP
Maybe that is what I will do
Maybe that is what I will do after the cruise.... I wouldn't want to do anything that could cast any doubt on DH and I right now since it is all so tumultuous. I just feel the need to have that boundary line.
Just do it now - I highly
Just do it now - I highly doubt the attorney is going to make a comment about your Facebook status in regard to SS, and if they do, say, "Really? It is? I don't know how that happened."
Court doesn't care about that stuff. If BM brought it up, she'd seem petty.
I Agree
make your fb invisible to BM and SS. I have a whole pile of derogatory posts by SD20 and YSS16 against Chef and the attorney said "meh."
I honestly can't believe that
I honestly can't believe that the kid is going to just go back to "normal".. he is 14 not 4. Either he knows and is fully complicit in refusing to speak to his dad and blocking him on every communications method... or he thinks your DH is somehow blocking HIM out.. either is going to set you up to be saddled with a teenager who is quite likely going to refuse to cooperate with anything.
Get in the car.. "no"
Get on the plane'.. "no"
Get on the boat "no"
Time to go eat "no"
You are grounded "no"
I mean, how on earth do you think your husband will be able to control him.. he cant lay a finger on him.. the police won't put him on the boat.. he is likely to run away... this is disaster time brewing.
My SS came over to visit
My SS came over to visit after a year of alienation, and within 2 hours he had hugged DH and told him he loved him. He always went back to normal when he was away from BM.
I think our experience will
I think our experience will be similar to Tog's. I think the reason he has cut off or been cut off or manipulated in to cut off is that when he is with DH he is a different kid than when he is near BM.
This is also why we want MIL to be the one to take him to the airport. At least he won't spend the night before he leaves with nonstop DH bashing from BM, DM's parents and his 1/2 sister.
I honestly hope for all of
I honestly hope for all of your sakes that he does not go. I get it, but there is no way on Gods green earth, that I would spend one minute on a cruise, with a disgruntled teenager that has totally stopped talking to you, and is making up lies about you and your DH.
Even if he does act like all is great, it would ruin my time, knowing that I am giving this little turd a great vacation all the while, he is trying to ruin me.
I love cruises and knowing I would have to spend one minute with this skid, on my vacation, would irritate me to no end.
Good luck with the cruise. We
Good luck with the cruise. We took SD when she was 14...its the last "real" vacation she's been on with us. She complained the ENTIRE time. She was "SO BORED"...and on and on. I told DH it would be hell or high water before I spent that kind of money again on a trip only to hear her bitch the entire time.