Let him schmooze for a minute or two. Then ask him kindly why he believes he deserves the PRIVILEDGE of driving your car, and ask for specific examples.

No way - even if he does figure out how to ask a basic question? dur-!!

He knows how to ask you. He had no problem forming the sentence for your DH. He just knows what a jerk he will sound like for asking. If he feels awkward, it's because he knows he doesn't deserve a nice favor from you.

If he calls to ask, a simple "No." is all that is necessary. No big explanations, just "No."

My ss wont even ask me to eat some pizza rolls sitting on the stove. I had made some, which he was aware of, he wanted some so he asked dh if he could have some, to which dh replied, "I dont know, you know I didnt make them-ask hismineandours". So then ss comes over and asks my 8 year old dd if he can have some. Which I am sitting right across the room-and I tell him if he can't ask me himself instead of going thru all the other family members then no, he can't have any!

I would never let my skid borrow my car period. It really wouldnt matter to me if he asked himself or not; however, if I was willing to consider it I definitely would not do so if I knew that he could not ask me. Think about it-if he is too uncomfortable to ask you himself, then surely he would be too uncomfortable to drive your car. Then think if he damaged it somehow-I am sure he would be too uncomfortable to tell you. There is obviously not a close trusting relationship between the two of you-why would you let anyone that you did not have that with use your vehicle? I would explain just that to ss IF he ever finds the balls to ask him yourself. I am sure he is just hoping that dh will ask for him and you will say ok and dh will tell him that.

Speaking from experience, no good comes from letting a skid use anything of value; car,computer,etc. Let them use it once they begin to think its theirs. I agree that if he's to afraid to ask He will be too afraid to tell you if you need to know something, such as a ticket or accident.

No way. It's not that he didn't know how to ask you, it IS that he thought if he asked his daddy, daddy would say yes or argue w/you if you did not agree. I wouldn't say no, I would say HELL NO!

Oh I'm no stranger to this one. SD14 would CONSTANTLY ask SO if she could borrow my whatever (shoes, jacket etc) because every ounce of clothing we bought went to BM's house and nothing ever came back. I told SO "you can't be the broker in these deals. She either needs to take responsibility for having clothes and shoes over here or she needs to ask ME since it's my stuff she wants to borrow." It really does come down to an issue of showing respect. I told SO I wasn't keen on SD14 practicing driving yet since a) she doesn't have a learner's permit yet and is thus uninsurable; and b) my vehicle (which SO usually drove) is worst vehicle ever to learn to drive in as it is too big. On at least 3 occasions, SO comes home and says he and SD14 had "driving practice" in some vacant lot in my vehicle. Again, no respect for my wishes, liability etc. If your DH/SO doesn't model respect, then the skids will follow suit, especially teens or adolescents.

Thus, they are gone and I am sad but he now has total responsibility (and no shoes (or car)) that are suitable for her to borrow).

ss16 has been without internet on his laptop he got for christmas because he can't ask me for the password. at this point i wouldnt give it to him anyway. i dont want to be his best friend, all i ask for is respect. dont give it you dont get it.
no way in HELL would i EVER let a skid drive my car. i dont care if the thing is a POS and rusting through the floorboards!!!

If you know what date and time it is (Prom), just start saying now that you have anappointment or something to do on that date around that time so when he comes to ask you if he does, you can say "Oh Im sorry I have plans" that way you won't look like the evil stepmom...Because I bet if you say no he might tell his dad "I knew she would say no, that why I was scared to ask her"....SK's play those kind of games....Thats what I do when i know they will be getting out of school early, (went to school and got a year calendar with all dates on it) I make plans months in advance ....I have 2 sons now by DH but they are babies, so he does not think I know about (school stuff/holidays) since I did not have kids before....so I don't look un-reasonable when they are out of school and try to come over and I say to dh "Oh no ...what about our plans? I booked it a long time ago" He has no choice but to go with me... }:) but Imsure he will catch on soon or later

If he was a good kid that was responsible and treated you with respect and acknowleged your presence in his life (especially on Mothers Day for cryin' out loud!), then I would say yes.

But since he doesn't seem to treat you well and is obviously not even smart enough to kiss your butt the DAY before he asks to borrow it, then the answer would have to be, uh....no.

I'm sorry your Skid didn't even acknowledge you on Mother's Day. I would literally just flat out tell him "Well let's see...YOu didn't wish me a Happy Mother's Day but you feel that I should lend you my car? Would YOU lend me YOUR car if I didn't acknowledge YOU on a special day?"...If he's smart, he'll get that the answer is NO.