Need some info my people . . .
DH carries SD13 on his insurance. SD has accident at school. BM uses mostly out of network Dr's after it has been explained to her several times how most real insurance works and not gov't insurance. She ignores us as usual cause she knows best.
This happened back in Nov. the bills have started rolling in and she's calling DH to get money to pay them. She finally faxes us copies and we find one that has DH's name on it with her address???????? I want DH's name off of it. He didn't take SD to the dr., BM did. How do we get this straight???
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I'm thinking she must have
I'm thinking she must have put DH's name on the paperwork because SD has her own card with her own name on it. We've worked hard to keep our credit clean and I just know she'd love to mess that up.
Who is responsible for the
Who is responsible for the bill per the court order? If its split then you need to have it added in when you are next in court that she has to take SD to an in network Dr unless its an emergency or she is responsible for the entire bill.
Call the Dr office and tell them that dh did not bring the child in, that he doesn't live at that address and that he has no legal ties to bm.
Court order??? You are
Court order??? You are kidding right. BM has sole physical custody of SD. She got the divorce behind DH's back. It's a joke. She ran child support through the state. Basically she pretended that she didn't know where DH was and that he abandoned them. All this was done while SD was staying with DH for a summer. There is no court order . . .not even a divorce decreee that states what he should be doing or not. DH pays his child support and splits the rest with her even though he's not ordered to . . .and she still complains!
No DH is not a victim. .
No DH is not a victim. . .we've gone a couple of rounds with this one.
DH divorce is one sheet of paper saying that she is petitioned the court for a divorce, that she doesn't want anything from DH and she wanted/and received sole physical custody of SD(5 at the time. She had already had his wages garnished through the state a year prior. She knew where he was but told the court she didn't. DH had moved to another state for a job. He didn't even sign his divorce papers. He has let this stand . . .I would not have but he made this decision.
The bill matters because DH's name is on it and BM has just been stuffing all of the bills in a drawer for months. She's just now sending them to us. Her credit is screwed so why should she really care about his??
One word . . . .COMPLACENT.
One word . . . .COMPLACENT.
^^^Yes - I agree with Echo
^^^Yes - I agree with Echo 100%. If he were on his own, fine, he can do as he pleases. But he's not and needs to adjust accordingly and take your feelings into consideration.
Good luck!
These are my thoughts exactly
These are my thoughts exactly . . .visitation is a nightmare. I never know (they let SD13 decide if she's visiting or not)when she's coming. Planning anything is a nightmare. We have to keep everything secret from BM because if she knows we have plans she becomes a problem. I have yelled about this for years and it is the reason I disengaged. SD13 is a socially awkward kid but she's not all out terrible but this situation has caused me to be very distant. I have said from the start that they needed some type of agreement on everything!
Take next week for instance. DH and I were scheduled to take a "staycation". I should have know something was up when he asked what week I was taking off. I find out today that he's trying to get SD to come for the week. Believe me when I say I'm sure she'd rather be home with BM. She just sits in her room with the door closed at my house. . . .OMG I have started rambling. Look at what ya'll started
Jmom, that's exactly what
Jmom, that's exactly what stepdevil14 would do when forced to come to our place. She'd hide out in her room and we'd only see her when she needed to eat or use the bathroom. And he was always pouting saying she wanted to go home. Well guess what? GO THE FUCK HOME THEN!
I can't imagine putting up with that shit anymore. It's been since October since she's stayed over. Blissful months, I tell ya. She went crying to mommy that we were moving to a one bedroom apartment and she wouldn't be able to hole up in her room anymore so BM took DH to mediation/court for 100% overnights. He agreed, knowing he doesn't want to force SD to have any part of our life.
It's been heaven. Sure he misses her and I have to deal with his occasional bout of sadness or tears or an event like her awards ceremony that we went to just to spite her, but yeah, it's like she no longer exists in my world. THANK GOD.
I'd tell your DH that she's of the age that it's stupid to force her to come over for visitation unless SHE wants to come and then you need it to be more structured so you can make plans!
LMAO!!! "WELL STAY THE FUCK
LMAO!!! "WELL STAY THE FUCK HOME THEN"!!!! OMG you just don't know how many times I've said this in my head. I have already started the whole well are you sure SHE wants to come bit. I'm so tired of it. She's not doing me or BS13 any favors by showing up. I also stopped planning all events for when she came. It was getting sick. . . .she come down stairs eat cake or whatever and then go back to her room and shut the door. Even if it was for HER birthday. This year (last week) I did nothing and had to remind him to go her a small cake. Tough cookies kid I'm done.
Then get a lawyer! He may as
Then get a lawyer! He may as well signed his death warrant to BM. Learn how the system works unless you want BM to keep you in the dark. Do something about this. Make phonecalls, see lawyers, inquire in family court. Do something.
"He is the plan participant
"He is the plan participant and any bills for a minor child will automatically come in his name."
Nope, go back and read the first paragraph again. If BM is taking SD to out of network doctor's, jsmom's DH shouldn't be the "automatic" responsible party.
Also, all of the other bills
Also, all of the other bills are in her name using her address.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It doesn't matter if the
It doesn't matter if the doctor is out of network or not. If the only insurance SD has is DH's insurance, the doctor's office will bill that insurance. Since the policy is under DH's name they will bill to that name.
But that's where a CO comes
But that's where a CO comes in handy. Our BM isn't allowed to go out of network. DH had a really good state job---even after he retired, he opened his own business, but he still kept the same state insurance that is excellent. But all has to be in network. If she takes him out, then she'll have to take us to court to get the reimbursement. It's that simple. Bloggers DH has not attempted to cover himself for anything. Therefore, HE is responsible. If it were written otherwise, it would be a different story & it would not impact his current relationship.
^^^YEP^^^^ DH definitely
^^^YEP^^^^
DH definitely needs a CO. It winds up cheaper in the long run to go ahead and get one, instead of getting screwed like this, especially since the BM in this case can't comprehend what out of network means.
Every time and I mean every
Every time and I mean every time I have taken my BS to the doctor I have to fill out a form that states I'm the responsible party for any payment that needs to be made. So are you guys saying that this doesn't matter . . .cause it looks to me like BM may have signed DH's name for him.
Okay, I did a little research
Okay, I did a little research on this. You are right, the person bringing the child into the doctor signs a consent form saying they are the responsible party for any payment that needs to be made.
So if BM is signing DH's name, that is wrong. (What dummy sees a female sign Tom Smith and not say something?) Anyway, DH has to contact Dr's office, state that he did not sign the consent form and dispute the bill.
DH REALLY needs to get a CO to protect himself from this happening.
ETA - If you are really concerned about protecting your credit, you could pay the bill, then sue BM for half in small claims court.
DH carries the insurance, DH
DH carries the insurance, DH is responsible for the bill as far as the hospital and the insurance are concerned. Insurance carrier is the guarantor, in other words, the financially responsible party. Your best bet is to pay the bills and go to court to get your money back. It sucks, but that's what happens. If he doesn't pay or make arrangements, they can put it on his credit either way. I would look into getting insurance through Kaiser or some company not accepted outside of network.