SD's, GU BM's, and attitudes
I haven't posted anything in a while. Aside from BM not wanting to parent/discipline/place boundaries or feed her child appropriately, so fills YSD with psychotropic medication to act as a chemical restraint and not have to parent...all else has been pretty good.
My SD just turned 6, we have had our issues with Golden Uterus/Narcissistic BM sending OSD to our house saying I shouldn't do anything to help them, it has to be their dad...etc. All the same old stuff that cluster of BM's do, lying, intruding, guilting, shaming, threatening, bad mouthing, and talking badly about me to DH...(heaven forbid I demand that she doesn't call my phone every night 6 times or continuously text my DH about nothing).
SD6 has always been entitled and demanding, whines everything that she wants and has little to no manners. We have had problems with OSD lying about abuse and neglect in each of the homes to the other parent (last incident was January). Mom endorsed this and stated that "it's her perspective, and I wont talk to her about not speaking her perspective (SHE'S LYING ABOUT ABUSE AND NEGLECT!!!!) She can be very sweet, but also very manipulative using that sweet voice as her manipulative tool ("I want you to get me this" in a whining high pitched voice and a smile on face).
Her mother is a piece of work, and I see some of her mother's attitude/entitlement/demanding traits coming out in her, but wonder if that will increase as she grows older. BM has historically talked with OSD about adult personal issues concerning DH and myself, things that are too complex for a 6 year old to truly understand.
I have been in her life for the last three years. She never knew her parents together. We have had the same ongoing issues with her behavior, but there can be such a sweetness about her too.
How many Steps have been in, or have observed, similar situations? Does the sweetness go away in SD's during adolescence when they were somewhat sweet to begin with? Wondering what other's experiences have been when they were involved from a young age, what happens in adolescence?
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I just wonder if she will
I just wonder if she will keep the sweetness and see through BM's borderline BS and come to the light side, or if she will slowly lose the sweet part to her mother's disgusting ways. In my experience, part of the borderline stuff is that they can be charismatic for short periods, but people close to them typically see a lot of ugly.
OSD6 has always been manipulative too. I don't see that going away. I will add that I do have strong boundaries, OSD talks to me with more respect than her mother, and I know that she love me, and I genuinely like to spend time with her *(unless BM has gotten BS into her head which does happen occasionally). But OSD talks to BM like shit "ugh, its on the table! I told you that already! You need to...blah blah" - a child will not talk to me like that and OSD doesn't even try.
Your SD6 sounds almost
Your SD6 sounds almost exactly like exSS9, who is EXACTLY like the Borderline BM. She has taught him well. This kid will be in either juvie or a locked mental health facility by the time he's 14, guaranteed. As time goes on with DH's influence no longer in his life, the problems are only getting worse.
I want to know how BM has not
I want to know how BM has not yet landed on a MH unit...to be honest. It actually isn't that surprising as she is incredible at playing the victim. When OSD was talking about neglect in both the households, DH went to her to talk about it, she went straight to all of DH's family saying that we are abusing her. What about all the shit OSD was saying about BM's house? Victim....