Not sure if it will be a break-through, break-up, or break-down.

DH is beside himself with sadness and frustration. He's still upset about the goodnight/good morning stuff, which I have said here and there, but it seems really just a starting spot for arguing. I have not been mean or sarcastic, I have been friendly but my guard is up and I'm not touching sensitive topics (who knew that discussing politics would be the least volitale topic). We've even gone out to dinner.

He was beside himself the other night that he's so hurt and he's so sad because of me/us/our relationship. He escalated when I said "okay" or "alright" instead of defending myself or mollifying him. I wasn't mean. I did accidentally let a laugh slip out when he said something hypocritical (I don't remember what, but somewhere he brought up stuff from the past which I'm not supposed to do, could have been that). He jumped on that that I was laughing at him. I very, very calmly and matter-of-factly said that I've yelled and cried and talked and a lot else, maybe all I have left is laughter. He didn't know what to make of that so he went a new direction.

After some more time saying how he felt, he said that if he made me feel as badly as he feels right now that he's sorry. I said okay. He said more things and repeated that he's sorry. I said thank you. I just kept saying okay and not engaging. At one point he said he knows he's done stuff to me over the years. I asked what stuff he meant. I think he was expecting another okay. He paused and was thinking hard and came up with "respect." I said what about it. He said that he wasn't respecting me. Okay, I agree that's a category of things, and you said you knew of instances you hurt me, are there specific instances you remember not respecting me? He paused for quite a while and his face was moving, like it was painful or something. When he spoke again it was about something else I'd done and if I remember right, it was related to the skids. I said I didn't know how that related to what we were discussing, are we done with the previous discussion? Well, no. There's more, like accusing me of not even inviting him to watch TV with me---which I had just done the night before, but I don't remember all of it. I didn't respond to things except to say okay and one time when he pushed something too far and I mildy said "you know that's not true."

He said he thought that since I hadn't responded to his texts that perhaps I had moved out. I get that BM moved out on him without a word ahead of time. However, it felt to me like it was another way to bait me into getting emotional, and either become the bad guy or be expected to mollify him.

I wasn't mean, I wasn't short, but I was bland, pale, gray, and basically kindly listened to him. He got so frustrated he started sobbing all-out snot-sobs. I did hold him, I did tell him to breathe deeply (he was hyperventilating). I didn't take his emotions or go down the rabbit hole.

He has his first therapy session today.