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Alpha dog mom

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 12:26pm

This frustrates DH to no end: if I am around the dog looks at me and waits for me to say okay if DH gives the dog a command or offers anything (unless someone has food, the dog will do anything for whoever has food). Seriously, DH can be offering to go out to play catch and the dog turns to look at me to see if it's okay to go and won't go until I tell him he can go.

I didn't set this up. I'm not the only one that feeds him or lets him out or walks him. He's not exclusively my dog. My guess is it is because I "communicate" with the dog (I understand his body language most of the time) and I am consistent and if I give a command I expect him to follow it. Seems as though he's tagged me as the alpha dog in the house.

Anyone else have this dynamic?

Comments

nengooseus's picture

Submitted by nengooseus on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 12:33pm

DH and I each have a dog that is "ours" not by design, but because of who they chose.  Mine is the 6 month old puppy.  He won't pee/go outside for DH or DD, only me, and if they try, he comes back in to me.  (Aren't I lucky?!)  DH's dog doesn't listen to--or have time for--anyone other than DH.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 12:35pm

What breed is it? Some breeds will only listen to one owner. 

In our house, DH is the alpha for sure, but they will still listen to me and they don't wait for him to say it's OK. But if they aren't listening to me and he comes in and gives the same command, they hustle to do it. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 12:47pm

BTDT. When I was with my ex, he simply could NOT understand why the dog (V) wouldn't listen to him. He actually thought the V was DUMB because V just stared at my ex when ex told V to sit. NOT dumb. V recognized my ex as a PLAYMATE; not the Alpha. Call the waaaaaaaah-mbulance.

And while it can certainly be a breed thing, my dog was specifically trained to answer to ME.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 1:19pm

Yup. Two of them. "DH's dog" will listen to him, (also just sits there and stares at him. He loves him). But he'll still listen to me regardless.

The other two have been deemed as "mine" though. My older one won't even go outside without me. If I leave the door open he comes back to get me before going outside (right after I get home when I'm letting them out).  Spends half his life with me, sleeps on the ground right by the bed, regardless of how many softer spots there are... listens to pretty well just me...  The little one is a pup, but she's already doing similar. She goes to bed and gets up with me and the follows me around until I leave. They both listen to me. DH's results vary. lol

I think it's normal. Sounds like you're a good fur mom!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 1:33pm

There can be only one, lol.

DH and I have each had our own dogs (same breed, same training). One was alpha, one beta. DH is the alpha, and I'm the beta of our pack. When DH was home, the dogs looked to him first; when DH wasn't home, I was the leader.

Your H needs to stop whining and read up on canine behavior.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 2:48pm

When my SS was coming over, DH was Alpha, SS was Beta, and I was whatever comes third.  Sad

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 2:38pm

parenting and pet parenting.  For example, Chef couldn't parent to save his life with his "awwwwwww isn't he/she cuuuuuuutttte?" and then let the little "darling" get away with murder.  Most of which stems from guilty/disney non-parenting.

Not me. I'm a teacher/authoritarian parent and was horrified at the way Chef and Girhippo parented by spoiling.

I've noticed that with our fur babies, Chef is the same.damn.way.   He has gotten very attached to my latest acquisition, a Bengal kitten and will let that kitten get away with biting, scratching, jumping on the table; so much so that now the kitten is a "mini wife" of sorts and KNOWs how to play him like a fiddle!!!

When she sees me coming, she knows I mean business.  So ladies, if you don't see your man parent his kids (that is IF you're even CONSIDERING to be with a guy who has kids--BIG MISTAKE IMHO)  watch him "parent" his fur babies.  If he lets the pets get away with bad behaviour, he'll let his offspring do the same!

Ok

Felicity0224's picture

Submitted by Felicity0224 on Tue, 07/30/2019 - 9:45pm

Hahaha my dog 100% has chosen DH as the alpha. It’s crazy because I’m the one who rescued him from the shelter and DH didn’t even want a dog to begin with. 7 years later the dog barely acknowledges my existence and mopes around like an orphan when DH isn’t home. He doesn’t misbehave with me, but everything he does is clearly reluctant and sometimes he actually sighs when I speak to him. When DH is home, he just lights up and obeys even DH’s nonverbal commands. It used to kind of hurt my feelings, but now I think it’s hilarious.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Wed, 07/31/2019 - 10:23am

One of mine is like that. Won’t eat, won’t go out, etc. unless I tell her it’s ok. The new dog is still figuring out the rules. But I do the training and I’m the consistent one, so ....