Thank you guys for the support a huge part of my decision came from the resentment that many of the things I've put off is an experience that he's cheapened by having w/ someone else. First BM he was not in a serious committed long term relationship. In fact she was a rebound after a 6 year relationship. Second BM was a hit n quit. It did concern me the lack of concern he showed for his own future and subsequently that off a future spouse and planned wanted kids. I feel as though my planned wanted kids would have been short changed by his unplanned mistakes. The relationship that he has with his children ESPECIALLY the second one is one of moral responsibility and obligation as opposed to a deep love and commitment. That also gave me reason for pause.

The money was very important to me also as I did not believe that I should support our home but share the spoils of my labor equally when the reason he could not be more of a financial equal are other children. If he legitimately MADE less money I would have no problem contributing more. But to know we more or less make equal money (and he makes more usually after over time) yet he brings home less because he support another household was burning me u,p and at this point we split our shared expenses equally. I knew he would never be able to afford a home (house or condo) with his edpenses. Unfortuantky i think the best he can hope for is a co-op (if that) I also had no feelings toward his children whatsoever except perhaps resentment of the financial burden they are to exBF. I did however realize that it was HIS doing. I knew that I did not want ANYTHING to do with these kids at all. I did not want to hear of them. I'd never want them in my home. I resented when he would speak to the 3 year old in my presence. It made my blood boil and my skin crawl. Also both kids look like there moms and I could see there mothers faces in them.

@Sueu2 i attempted to break it off w/out telling him the real reason but he would not allow it. Finally I spelled it out (albeit a little kinder than I am doing here). He accused me of being interested in another man so finally I have to give him a strong dose of truth...

I realized that continuing this relationship he would constantly need to choose between me and the kids. Our family and the kids .I did not want my future children associated with his kids EVER, and truthfully would only want him to see SKID as was convenient for my family. Meaning as long as that wouldn't impede on our family time (impossible) I realized that my wants, and desires would constantly leave his kids on the back burner. He needs a woman who is more open to blending whereas I felt no such need.

Yes I don't think he deserves a woman such as myself (and I HATE to say it like that) I think he needs a woman more on his level so he can appreciate the baggage he truly comes w/. One child one BM I may have been able to work through. Not two.

I feel like there was more I wanted to say...

Sorry for typos in above post... Multiple tasking.

@ctnmom yea I was concerned that this was a character issue . The first mistake I could look past but the second was too much when I really gave it thought. He didn't outright offer city hall we'd discussed marriage and I know part of the reason why he didn't ask me to marry him was because (*drum rolls*) he can't afford a decent ring!!!!! And why because it's very difficult to save because CS is a never ending obligation. Cant say let me defer CS for 6 months so I can buy a ring. Can't afford a ring DEF can't afford a wedding much less a wife, a home etc., I took this as a sign of the future. With his kids being so young this obligation is here to stay. The thing is I don't HAVE to deal w/ this. I can walk away and I am choosing today. When he mentioned City HAll it was more of a last ditch attempt to impress upon me he loved me so much he'd even be willing to go to city hall to make me his wife (apparently I must look in need of a husband) -____-

We went on vacation in May which I paid for because it had to be booked combined it was $1250 a piece $2,500 together. A little after we got back his car was towed Totalling over $750 with tickets, tow charge storage etc, so the money that he was supposed to reimburse me got deferred. Did he pay his CS every month well of course- did he bother to pay me back not until I got all bent outta shape about it he started in September, and now owes me just $200.00. I felt annoyed that because he didn't consider it IMO important that he didn't bother to pay me back till I got in that ass. All the while he ALWAYS payed his CS. That was a HUGE red flag.

I'm gonna borrow a line from Sex and the City that Samantha said to Smith Jared before breaking up with him: "I'm just gonna say the thing you're not supposed to say. I love you but I love me more". I took an inventory of our relationship and realized that his presence didn't add much value. Love is great but it does NOT conquer all. I realize to some I seem cold. I simply removed the emotions from the equation so that I may look objectively as though it were not he and I but two strangers. I realized this stranger that was me was insane. This man did not come w/ nearly any of the qualities I was seeking.