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Am I right to want to retain the same percentage my BF pays in CS as separate property when we marry?

InsistingOnPrenup's picture

Submitted by InsistingOnPrenup on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 6:30pm

Another poster made me feel selfish. However after 'lurking' for awhile I've seen a lot of unfairness the "second family" is expected to tolerate. I just want to equalize the playing field and set some expectations early on. The majority of the the things I want to classify as separate items are my various retirement/saving accounts. Seeing as how he has more obligations (CS) than I do and we are in the same career field it's likely I'll retain more of my wealth. God forbid our marriage should end I dont think it fair that I subsidize his future w/ my assets and possibly alimony... Deciding that the same 'percentage' of my income that he's legally obligated to pay in CS is invested in a home that is separate property is fair in my opinion. 34% of his income goes out the door. At least my 34% benefits us even if it remains my property. If the marriage lasts who cares that the house is my separate property except that I plan to leave those assets to MY OWN (future) children... If God forbids our marriage ends we keep what we contributed...

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Comments

NancyL's picture

Submitted by NancyL on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 6:52pm

Never put more than 50% of your money into the family pot. You take the other 50% and put it into an account, so when you tired of all the X BS and the kds crap you can start over. If you don't take care of your self no one else is going to.

Want my life back's picture

Submitted by Want my life back on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 8:33pm

Yes the only person you can trust is yourself, if there is ever a break-up DH couldn't give a shit the money you have wasted supporting his sorry arse because he is sending money to the products of the sperm that got away,equivalent to hanging around with the wrong crowd, they will bring you down, if u breed with genetically inferior ones expect genetically inferior children= skids... LOL

harriet's picture

Submitted by harriet on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 8:23pm

What we did was keep our finances totally separate. I own the house (I insisted on that, I married late and I feel safer that way), but he pays me rent. He makes a lot more money than I do so it was a way of him contributing to my lifestyle. He also pays a small amount into my IRA every month.

InsistingOnPrenup's picture

Submitted by InsistingOnPrenup on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 8:24pm

Oddly enough my BF is not against a prenuptial. He's more concerned that our marital home will be my separate property. I don't understand the problem as 34% of his income is legally obligated to his children...

Annanymous's picture

Submitted by Annanymous on Tue, 10/16/2012 - 10:32pm

I think you're brilliant. I think doing this, prenup with your retirement and savings as well as your 34% of income separate, probably will lead to a happier, longer marriage with less resentment, etc.

I would also fully expect that he contributes fully to your future children and home.