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mother's day

Indo's picture

Submitted by Indo on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 9:11pm

So I know this is trite to say on this site, but I not having any children of my own,... I hate mother's day.

My stepkids are not horrible to me, but I'm a full time step mom. They live with me full time and their mom only gets every other weekend visitation. (She is a horrible person who uses the kids like jewelry but that's another story.)
The short of it is,... I can't have children. These stepkids are my only kids, and I am a huge part of their life and the "female role filler" in their ever day lives.
They don't acknowledge me on mother's day-they are not ever even here on that day.
They have a mom, and they are celebrating that day with her.

But I don't get acknowledged at all... a few years ago when we first got married, I mentioned to him that the sunday after mother's day is stepmother's day...and nothing ever came of it...

Comments

Ruby55's picture

Submitted by Ruby55 on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 9:21pm

I don't think that's right. I acknowledge my step mom on Mother's Day and I never so much I spent one night at her house ever. But I still get her a trinket and a card. I don't think it's very nice of them or your husband considering you are the primary female caretaker in their lives. Do something special for you. Your husband should at least pamper you for all you do for HIS kids!

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

Submitted by BarkAtTheMoon on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 9:25pm

The cashier at the bakery I went to today said "Happy Mother's Day" to me as I walked out the door. I replied "Thank you," but then said under my breath to myself, "You have NO idea."

I have SD19 and SD13 who wants to be a boy, full-time. I have a FT job. Oh and let's not forget SDog in a diaper because he marks his territory in my house. More work with a small dog than with my 4 large breeds.

BM died over two years ago. Sad

~ Moon
.

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 9:35pm

I feel for you. In every way you are their mother. It is like a sick unspoken rule for some SMs...SMs are to pick up the slack of BMs. It would be nice to get at least a Mother's Day card.

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY! HUGS!

Indo's picture

Submitted by Indo on Sun, 05/10/2015 - 10:58am

Good for you that you feel that way.

I'm not saying I want to take the day away from their mother. They have a mom and I'm not it.

I'm saying it hurts me that I am unable to have children, yet I raise children that are completely oblivious to what I do for them...their father too for that matter.

I've posted before about feeling taken for granted,...this day is just one more reminder of that.

amgor863's picture

Submitted by amgor863 on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 10:14pm

I'm also not looking forward to Mother's Day. In my case, my DH pretty much pushes them to buy a card or he buys it himself and forces them to sign it... : ( If it isn't sincere, who wants it. My older SS18, latest GF is very into the BM, so I"m sure she'll have some sort of tribute to her. Not a problem, but it would be nice to at least be treated with some respect. Like everyone on this site, I've done a lot for them.

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Sat, 05/09/2015 - 10:28pm

For the last couple of years, people have wished me "Happy Mother's Day" because of SS, it makes me cringe honestly. I get that I take care of him more than his own mother, I get that I'm filling a role for him and all that horse crap but I don't need someone else to remind me all the slack I'm picking up for someone I don't like

.In fact the way I see it is by giving GUBM a full day to remind everyone she is Mother (hear her roar) and let her take tons of photos to post online gives me a couple weeks break from dealing with her insecurities. reading all those comments and congratulations for birthing such darling little creatures will feed her ego long enough to keep her from emailing DH to argue about 2$ flip flops or why her 3yr old would rather play than talk to her on the phone for 10 minutes **eyeroll**

I.hate.cats's picture

Submitted by I.hate.cats on Sun, 05/10/2015 - 6:04am

I guess I've got the less common situation. I have three kids, SS14, SD12 and SD6. The mother of the older two isn't in the picture so they will do something for me for me for Mother's Day. My SS calls me mom and SD12 has started to do so on occasion. I've been with DH about 2 1/2 years and SS started calling me mom the day DH and I got married.

SD6'S BM is in the picture, though she's a pathetic excuses for a mother. SD6 will call me mom half of the time, which was entirely her choice but we have a great relationship though admittedly it did take some time to develop. She wanted to spend Mother's Day here but BM wasn't having that at all. DH asked if we could take her for a little while later in the day but BM can't pretend to care about SD in front of her friends and family if she isn't there. Sigh.

Sometimes being a mother, step or not, is a thankless job but everyone of you deserves recognition for what you do and what you put up with.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sun, 05/10/2015 - 10:12am

Indo - If you do the job & your DH doesn't think it worthy of being noted. Stop doing it & tell him why. Best of Luck.