We keep clothes for all 3 at our house. If ppl have given us a bunch and I have extra...I will give BM clothes, but for the most part I have nice and play clothes at my house.

We also supply clothes at our home and my mom and stepdad kepts clothes for my stepsisters when I was younger. My mom never wanted them to feel like visitors or live out of a suitcase on the weekends.

I dont think you are out of line at all!

"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

And I thought I was the only one who had to deal with this craziness! I have a SD that is 5...she is also a 6X/7 and BM has sent her to us/school wearing 5's! They were so tight that the poor kid had marks from them! We keep clothes for the kids at our house but there is still the problem of what she sends them to us/school wearing. I encouraged DH to confront BM about the tight clothing. When he did she told him that SD "dressed herself" and that she "cant help it if she wanted to wear that"! OMG even if that were true she's 5! You cant ask her to change??? DH finally ended up throwing the tight clothing away and not giving it back to BM...if she complained (which she never did) we would replace the clothing in a bigger size! Its pathetic that we have to nurse these women like this but its really about whats best for the kids.

You are definitely not out of line. We did this when my ss used to live with his mom. We used to send new clothes over to her house and she would still send him in things that were too small. So we bought clothes for our house and would make him change back to what she sent him in before he went home.

My sd11's mommy does the same thing to us. SD is always coming to my house looking like a lil ragamuffin. Finally I went and bought her an entire supply of clothes,panties,shoes,etc just for our house. I stopped doing this though bc she started sneaking the clothes to BM's house until nothing was left in her dresser at our house. She continues to walk around looking like a homeless person and I don't care anymore.

Wrong for buying SD clothes to stay at your house for her visits? Not at all. This is how BF handles it in our home. The skids come Friday afternoon in their clothes from their Mom's house, but the rest of the weekend they wear what we have in our home. Since I'm already doing laundry I will go ahead and wash the clothes they came in from Friday and they will wear them back home Sunday evening. We've never had a problem with them coming over in clothes too small, but this does eliminate ALOT of problems/conflicts. So I think you handled it perfectly.

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I dont think you are out of line! In fact, I think you have done what any one of us wouldve done! Go to a consignment store and purchase some clothes for her, it's cheaper that way. I always had to do the same thing. Only, our visitations were in the summer (all summer long) and BM would send them with ODD clothing matches, like 2 pr of sox and 20 pr of underwear and no shorts but tons of shirts (most nasty or too small), etc. I remedied that with one trip to a consignment store when they got to us for the visitation. Then when they left, I'd just resell the youngest ones things (knowing she wouldnt fit them by the next visitation) and save the older ones clothes for the younger one. Yard sales are great too, and save you tons of money!

I don't understand these parents. I hear about it ALL time. It even happens with my own child when he goes to dad's house. I send him in the cutest wide legged name brand jeans and he comes home in jeans straight from the 80's rack,too small,broken zipper,etc...UGH! Same thing with SD11 and her mom...I want to call her crazy ass mother up and say,"do you LOOK at your kid when she walks out the door??? Her jeans are so short they can pass for capris ALL YEAR ROUND. Her shirts are so tight and faded she looks as though she's in a rap video shaking her stuff.WTH is wrong with you??"

These idiot people don't realize they're only hurting their own child by being stingy and vindictive with something as petty and small as CLOTHING. Sorry for the rant. I just hate the petty,backbiting nonsense from these parents.

It's always okay to put your skids needs first, that's what good parents do! Who cares if it pisses the BM off if you clothe your skid in clean clothes that are the right size? The skids needs are more important and it's disgusting that so many BMs hurt/neglect their kids to get some sort of revenge on their ex. I am blown away by how many BMs on here seem to do this kind of thing. It's the same exact thing with us and I have a lot of fun picking out nice clothes for the boys. Because of our custody schedule, we end up exchanging their clothes in a rotating cycle and anytime they come over here in torn, stained or too small clothes, I toss them out and replace them with new, nice clothes. My SS5 wears 5T and BM has been sending him over in 4T and gross little pairs of too small, stained tighty whiteys that leave red marks on his skin and appear to be cutting off his circulation. Any time one of those little rags comes over I toss it out and send him back with brand new boxer brief undies in the right size. Thanks to CS we are pretty much as poor as church mice, but I shop really carefully and keep my eye out for sales. We have two really nice second hand stores here and if i'm careful I can get the skids some really nice things. They wear expensive name brands because I get them at a discount and no one would ever guess by looking at them that they weren't new. I don't give a crap what their mom thinks about that and I hope she feels guilty and it causes her to step up and be a good mom (yeah right).

We don't even care if the skids take the clothes to their moms house because it means they will have warm, nice clothes for school instead of the ratty t-shirts she's been dressing them in (it's been snowing the past couple of days here). When we get low on clothes we ask her for our clothes back and she actually hasn't made a peep about it and has been surprisingly pleasant about returning the clothes. Just last night I packed a big bag of clothes for the skids for this week and sent it off with them to BMs. It is depressing and frustrating to have clothes disappear into the BMs black hole, but when we ask, she returns them. Unfortunately they come back smelling like mildew and dust because that's what BMs house smells like, so I have to pop them in the wash immediately. It would be nice if she was just a little bit clean and cared, but that's just not going to happen.

It really shouldn't have to be like this and in an ideal world both the BM and us would equally contribute and take care of the skids clothing needs, but even though it's not fair, we keep doing it because if we didn't the skids would suffer and that's just not fair to them. BM has to live with herself and the skids are becoming more and more aware that their mom doesn't take good care of them and she has no idea that they will eventually turn on her if she keeps this kind of crap up. I get angry about it, but we have to put the skids first even though it's an unfair situation for all of us.

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde

When I was dating DH BM would send kids over in rags and I am not kidding theses clothes were awful and stained and smelly. I asked them if this was what the wore at home and they said no , mom makes us wear these to come here. I went out and bought them whole new wardrobes top to bottom and when they came over they changed into those clothes and they others go in the closet until it's time to be picked up by BM and she got PISSED at me!! She said if I was going to buy them clothes they were their property and I should send them back with the kids to her house. MY response Whatever. click hang up the phone. I never battled with this woman you can't have a battle of wits with an un-armed oponent.

Not out of line at all. BM knows what she is doing. We have everything for SD too. Although BM did send nice things it is just easier to have our own. And it makes SD feel more at home with us, I think.

BM is not going to be upset! This is what she has been trying to tell you all along!! She is tired of sending a overnight bag with SD, so she sends to small of stuff trying to force you into buying your own stuff. I bet you a million bucks that is EXACTLY what she has been doing! LOL!!

Buying your own stuff is WAY easier anyway. There are bigger fish to fry than this.....

Like your H said "thanks but there is no need to send a overnight bag anymore"

Really, how could buying a child clothes, shoes, coats and a toothbrush be bad? Take you to court? Think about this....what is she going to take you back for....being kind, and generous to YOUR OWN child?!

Don't think about this anymore, just go to the store and buy what she needs.

I don't doubt she is likes to cause drama.

Like you said she threatened you for washing hair....she can't do anything about it. She was probably wishing you didn't so she could claim abuse. Nor can she take you to court becuz you bought her kid clothes.

She filed a bogus charge of abuse becuz you guys got married, so she is jealous. This was an extreme response to you getting married --buying a kid clothes should not make her jealous.

Like I said I really think she is trying to get you guys to buy your own stuff for her. But you know her, not me.

Take photos of SD in those tight clothes, you may need them for court.

We have to buy an entire wardrobe foor 3 kids on top off CS because BM won't run things back and forth. So immature.

kinda same situation. we had ss, crazy girl took him and since there was no custody agreement, crazy girl had ss for awhile and it was, sadly, legal. we gave her a bunch of clothes toys pullups utensils etc., everything we had in our house. then she sued us for cs. then we had four days notice that ss would be coming to live with us and then he was on our doorstep. now we have full physical custody... never got any clothes from crazy girl. period. we got nothing from her. maternal grandparents gave us clothing that crazy girl had bought him in an effort to help out, but the shoes were two sizes too small, clothes are 3t when he needs 4t. you get the picture. she expects us to give her things when she has ss and doesnt feel the need to say thank you or return them after she decides she doesnt want to be a parent, but vice versa, it doesnt apply.

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I dealt with the same issue with my XH when my kids were younger. I remedied it by keeping the nice clothes at my house and got a few gently used but decent clothes at the thrift store for the kiddos to wear back to XH.

I'm serious, take pics of the small clothes on her. If DH ends up in court you can show that BM is not buying proper clothing. Ask that her bank and credit card statements be looked at. If she's going to the bar and Vegas...maybe she's stupid enough not to pay cash.