So last night I had kind of a random conversation with my bf about his daughters. A little background: I have never met SD20 and SD23 and we have been together almost 1.5 years. Just for those of you who aren't aware of my situation. Anyway, my rule as of a few months ago is that I do not talk to him about SD's and what they are doing in their lives. This was decided by me mostly to protect myself from hearing what they say about me and so that I don't have a chance to judge them based on their shitty attitudes and immaturity. Bf used to tell me about things they would say about me and I got to a point where I decided if ever there were a chance to get to know them, I can't hear about all the bad things they say about me it's just poisoning me about them and I won't give them a chance. So on occassion bf tries to squeeze in a few words about them and I say...no thank you and move onto another conversation. It's not my fault, he created it not me.

So when bf told me he was going to an NBA basketball game with SD23 in a few weeks, I was actually fine with it. I think it's because I already went with him to opening night and got to share that with him. It was a blast and we want to go again. So my comment to him was, "As long as I get the first game, I don't care when you go with them!" I was half joking and maybe I should not have said it but it slipped out. Bf did not like this comment and said, "But what if that is also how they feel? What if they want the first game with me?" I said, look...they get to do whatever they want, say whatever they want because you feel guilty for divorcing their mother and moving out of the house. However, it has been 1.5 years and them NOT accepting me or our relationship has gotten old. I said, you HAVE to let me win a few battles here and if I say I want first games of the season with you then I think you can accommodate that. I am your GIRLFRIEND and these are your "adult" kids, I'm pretty sure they can handle going with their boyfriends or whomever...I don't go with anyone else just with you because it's special to me. Then he gave me the old "I feel like I have to choose and I'm stuck in the middle." Well...he put himself there not me. So I said, maybe this time you do have to make a choice but you need to start putting your foot down with them. You need to say listen, I'm getting sick of tip toeing around everyone else's feelings you two are adults and you NEED to accept and deal with the fact that I am in a relationship with a woman I love and regardless of what you think of that it's not going to change. Additionally, I did admit that I also need to work on accepting him spending more time with them than I really care for him too. It's mostly because I feel that they are clingy with him and need to be around him a lot more than any other young women their age need to see their dads. They don't seem to be concerned with friends/boyfriends as much as other people and need to see daddy every week. It's just strange and he has yet to set boundaries with them. However...I will admit that I COULD be more understanding of HIS need to want to see them and have a healthy relationship with him. Where he admits he is sick of trying to please everyone I told him well, then you need to lay down the law with them and tell them to suck it up and then you need to do the same thing with me. I promise all of us will get over it but you can't make it a one way street. If he speaks to me he has to speak to them and discuss what he expects from them if they are going to have a relationship as father/daughter.

I was all business during this conversation and it was what I really needed. I have been afraid to speak up about what him about them because he is so sensitive but if I am going to be in his life it's so important that I make a place for myself and that he makes one for me too. I'm done with them controlling his life which in turn will control mine. This is OUR life and if they are going to be a part of it they need to start acting like adults.