Please help me!!!! Baby Mama Drama
Here's the scoop. I'm divorced with an 11 year old son whose father doesn't want to have anything to do with him AND his father lost all parental rights anyway. I'm dating my best friend, whom I've known for 13 years, we've been dating for 2.5 years. He has a daugter who is 8 1/2. I've known her mom as well for 13 years and we have NEVER liked each other. A couple of months after we started dating, my boyfriend moved in with me. A couple months later, October to be exact, his daughter was abandoned on our front porch, by her mother. He kept paying child support, and we kept her until August of the next year. A day before school started, his ex (whom he was never married to) picked up her daughter, stating we have NO right to her and she will live with her. NOthing we could do. It just went downhill from there. The ex has no car, has had 3 repossessed in the last 2.5 years, has no job, swears her 1 year old is dying, and her husband (which my attorney has never found proof they are married) are always getting divorced, seperated, kicked out, the police called on them, in domestic violence fights where police arrest one of both of them, BAD situation for both children. Anyway, she decided to not let my boyfriend see his daughter for 3 months, police wouldn't do anything for us to get visitation, it was so bad, she put a restraining order on him so he wasn't even allowed at her house to pick up his daughter. And, she can't meet him anywhere, she doesn't have a car. Then at Christmas, because she wanted her daughter home on Jan 1st, not Jan 6th like the Custody Papers say, she called CPS on me and reported to the police I kidnapped her daughter. The police came to my house, I had to show them the Custody Papers AND let her father talk to them saying I didn't kidnap her. CPS said that his ex said I beat his dauther and left her alone and my son molested her daughter. It has gotten so bad, I can't have her and my son around each other anymore EVER. It is killing my boyfriends and mine relationship and we fight all the time now. His ex even told his daughter I murdered a person, was in prison for it, and can't be left alone with her because if I am I will kill her. We used to have a good relationship and she wanted us to get married. Now she is scared to death of me. My son LOVES my boyfriend, especially since this is the only man/father figure in his life. How do I fix this and make our family work? Please HELP me for my boyfriends and my relationship sake and our kids sake. His daughter is sad and doesn't understand why she can't be at my house when my son is here and they can't be together. Oh, and she is scared to tell her mom anything, she screams and crys for us not to take her home, she gets beat there, etc, and wants to live here again. Oh and the the ex said that if she can't have a good life, neither of her kids can either. She is just a crazy, selfish bitch and I feel so sorry for her kids. Especially her daughter since she would have a 100% better life here and she knows it.
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Oh and CPS was ruled fraud.
Oh and CPS was ruled fraud. They even have our names marked as fraud since she has called me in 3 times. They said that if she keeps calling in, they should see the fraud flag and unless it seems as though its real, we shouldn't be investigated. She is NUTS!
First off, I do not know what
First off, I do not know what state you live in, but after SEVERAL confrontations with my FH's BM they would nit give me a restraining order. So I do not understand how it was so easy for your boyfriend to get one on him.
Secondly. I can understand the whole youre son loving your boyfriend thing. I am in that situation as well.
Thirdly. You btter make DAMN sure this man is worth all of this hell you are putting yourself and your son...and his daughter through for that matter. Well not what you are putting everyone through, but what the situation is causing. I understand she is a crazy, but you could at least save yourself and your son the pain of it all.
Finally. If you make the ultimate decision to tough it out, do as a previous poster said. DOCUMENT! Keep a digital voice recorder for any and all interactions. They time and date stamp them automatically. Kepp up with it all. Then take her to court and present it. More than likely she will be proven to be an unfit mother and her kids will be taken away from her.Which seems like it needs to happen anyway.
You could get her for slander and all of that good stuff too. At the VERY least, take advantage of a free consultation with an attorney.
We live in Texas. My
We live in Texas. My boyfriend did not get a restraining order on her, she got one on him stating he beat her. It was for 21 days and then she went to court, we were never informed of it and got one for 2 years...crazy BIOTCH! I'm not to sure how she got that either, as I still haven't been able to get one against her after she came and broke my front door window. They just made her leave my property and gave me one for 21 days.
Yes, he is worth it, but I think all the time why do I put myself through this stress for no reason. It is a joke and we can't have a normal family. We used to when his daughter lived here, we have family pics, went on family vacations, etc. Now, it's just a HUGE mess.
I do keep everything, recorded and all. I've got the crazy ex on my cell saying she is not a good mom so she'll give us the daughter, I've got her saying she can't handle the daughter anymore, so come pick her up, I've got emails where supposedly they are living in a shelter because her husband beat her, I've got all that on her. I've got the daughter recorded stating she is put in a corner while ants climb on her and bite her. I've got her stating her mom and step dad beat her, how she wants to live here, how she gets locked in her room after school and isn't allowed a snack or allowed out of her room. Supposedly there is a lock on the outside of her door. She is mixed, so I always take pics of her hair as it takes me about 4 hours every time to do it since it hasn't been done since the last time she was visiting us. I also have to take pics of her clothes since she comes over in holey clothes.
I have all her mom's facebook stuff too where she is getting divorced, hates her daughter, wants to kill herself, etc. If I could ever get the you know what in court, I think we stand a GREAT chance. She hasn't shown up 3 times now as her 1 year old is supposedly dying. I'm not sure how long this will take, but ugh...
Get married and enjoy your
Get married and enjoy your life together. It sounds to me that it is only a matter of time before BM ends up in rubber room or otherwise proves herself unfit as a mother and you can get custody of your SO's child.
With this BM you can have a ton of fun baring her ass in public boldly and often.
Best regards,
You need to take every scrap
You need to take every scrap of documentation that you have and go to court. If you dont have a court order, GET ONE. If you dont have a lawyer, GET ONE.
He has a court order that she
He has a court order that she doesn't go by, it's all about how she feels and what she wants. We have gone to court 3 times and she doesn't show so nothing happens. The judge said that he has to give her a chance. We are waiting to go back to court again. She doesn't show to court, 1 cause she doesn't have an attorney, 2 because she says her 1 year old baby is dying. Not sure if that is true or not, but the disease he supposedly has people live very long and proserous lives.
My attorney I used in my divorce is who we use and thinks we can get Sole Custody, but we got to get her in court first. It sucks.
Court battles are expensive.
Court battles are expensive. Like I said, take advantage of a free consultation somewhere. At the very least you could get some good advice and direction.
The daughter uses the term
The daughter uses the term "beat", not me or my boyfriend. My attorney is a child advocate for Houston and works with HPD. Problem, the ex supposedly has a child who has a deadly disease and she uses that as her excuse. This next time in court, she has to show hospital records to prove she was really in the hospital with her son, if not, then I think she get reprimanded. I'll keep you all updated.
We do document everything like I stated above. I went through a nasty divorce and learned I HAD to document everything. Fortunate for me, my ex didn't want to go to court, so after 5 times of that happening, I got everything in my divorce and with what I had documented, I got SOLE custody of my son.
Thats crazy. Im not sure
Thats crazy. Im not sure where you live, but in our state, if one party doesnt show up to court then the other party basically gets everything that they ask for and the party who didnt show up has a certain amount of time to contest it. Here, you can also have the police escort you to get the kid to inforce visitation. I agree with another poster that instead of continuosly taking BM to court, you should prepare for a custody battle - do everything you can to get custody...I dont know why the courts are so screwy where you are, but at least in my state, if you ask for sole custody with her getting supervised visits and she doesnt show...YOU GET IT.