Fed up
I'm allowed to be pissed. I hate how his feckin spawn and DH lack of vehicle is pushed on me. F this. Thursdays DH usually goes to his grandma's for his 4 hour visitation because sitting in traffic is a "waste of visitation"...well DH still has no vehicle...so SIL asked "am I dropping off SS at your place or grandma's?" And of course it has to be OUR place... because I shouldn't have to drive into the cities after work just to pick them up and drop fking SS off at BM.... getting really fed up with this...I already pay over half the bills for our house. DH should be paying at LEAST half and then some because of his sperm. THIS SHOULDN'T BE MY PROBLEM. My dog needs a $750 cardiologist...is DH helping me with that? NO because I had my dog BEFORE I MET DH....SO WHY AM I AUTOMATICALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR 1/2 OF YOUR MISTAKE??? NOTHING has been offered in terms of MY EXTRA EXPENSE for this...yet SIL is offered cash, food, gift cards, GO F#CK YOURSELF DH
NOT MY SPAWN NOT MY PROBLEM
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Now tell him that.
Now tell him that.
Right- so what are you going
Right- so what are you going to do about it? Can you separate finances and each put in half?
My issue is I AM paying half.
My issue is I AM paying half....and I don't think I should be. We can't afford kids of our own, and paying half of everything now is pissing me off. When we upgraded from a one to a two bedroom apartment he paid more because the bedroom was primarily for his mom and SS.....then we got the house and now it's 50/50...the only other bedroom is strictly SS....Im extremely resentful of my grown finances because of his spawn.
OK, not half then - but
OK, not half then - but whatever is fair.
I feel you. My boyfriend didn
I feel you. My boyfriend didn't have a car for 2 years and I was using mine for drop offs every other week one hour there and back. I'm still furious I did that to this day. He only gave me gas money sometimes. I don't blame you for feeling the way you did.
Why do we do this to
Why do we do this to ourselves? Im still trying to figure out why I spent 4 years of my life with a man with no license & no vehicle...DUI. Loser. At least he had no kids but he was so needy and I put a lot of miles on my car driving him arpund. He was very good to my kids though and now many years later I see that isnt always easy to care for someone else kids. We didnt live together but he welcomed my kids in his home.
Haha! By the time I met DH,
Haha! By the time I met DH, my rule was: must have valid driver's license, must have car. I seriously would not have gone out with him if he hadn't. He didn't make a lot of money but dammit, he could drive himself to where he needed to go.
Honey, this guy is an
Honey, this guy is an albatross around your neck, with or without a kid. You need to be rid of him.
Are you even in love with him? I mean, IN LOVE with him? You are still young and you really should spend your life with someone that you are happy to be with. Being alone is better than being with someone who makes you unhappy most of the time. This guy NEVER takes you into consideration. You are taken for granted (and used) time, after time, after time.
You are better than this. You deserve better than this. You can do better than this.
Yes, this ^^^^
Yes, this ^^^^
If you can't go this far, at least do the math on your finances and determine what is fair for you to be paying, and what your DH should be paying, then show it to him and tell him that you expect him to pay his portion, ON TIME, and he needs to figure out how to make this happen. You are not going to finance his child or his life anymore. He's an adult, and a man, and should be able to pay for his own sh*t. Life is too short to be with a selfish life-sucking sponge that leeches your money and won't provide for himself.
I am sorry you are feeling
I am sorry you are feeling this way.
No advice, just sending hugs.
I hope things do get better for you soon.
I'm not heartless
I'm not heartless...I know first-hand how frustrating it is to have a car in the shop...but today for example; it's freezing here, he grabs my keys to get spawn, BARELY let's my car warm up for one minute before he's driving off. My car is 12 years old. He also forgot his wallet, so when he comes BACK with SS he has to stop at the grocery store, then he wants to go buy beer...like WTF this is MY GAS you're wasting. The plan was he was supposed to leave earlier to get the errands done on.the.way. before pickup....not pick him up, drop him off, go drive two more places, then drop off SS at home later...I feel a little selfish because I kept track of my trip odometer...I just got gas last Thursday... wondering if I'm going to be screwed when I go to leave for work tomorrow...selfish f#ck...