SD is getting married
Ok here it goes got an email from our SD today and she was saying that its her wedding and that she wants her father to share in the walking down the isle with her SD, which would be ok but this is the man that took her mom away from both children and the bio father my DH raised them. The kids were 9 mos and 3 at the time now they are 29 (the boy) and 25 (the girl) and that mother hadn't been in contact with them until they were 16 when they left us!!
So let me go back a little I came into the picture when the kids were 13 (boy) and 10 (girl) the boy was a run away and constantly trouble the girl was still young until she reached 15 yrs old...see I was always the one catching her as she was getting in trouble so she left at 16 to her mother...her mother didn't like how she was so she kicked her out and she moved in with her boyfriends family.
so fast forwarding WE put the SD thru college...not her Bio mom and SD while staying in the area of her mom. The son went into the army and is married and has two kids. Now my question to you all is where am I in this wedding of hers if she's having the step dad walking her down the isle she doesn't want me in the wedding..what am I chopped liver?.I am appalled at the fact that she doesn't care about her dad's feelings or mine she doesn't accept me or respect me as her SM...she doesn't know me at all since she's been an adult
I feel like staying home and not going to the wedding or should I go and hold my head high...help me please
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Comments
It's her day, she gets to
It's her day, she gets to decide who gives her away.
Both men must be important to her. It was kind of her to include both of them. This way she doesn't have to pick one over the other.
Why would SM (or BM) be IN the wedding?
It is her decision, of
It is her decision, of course, however - it is nice when human beings (whether it be their wedding day or not) take into consideration the feelings of those around them. I understand in these "blended" times, things do go a little differently but surely the man who raised her is the one who should be giving her away? If she doesn't feel that way, I can understand your husband feeling badly about it. HOWEVER, he can't control how she behaves, how she acts, what she does. He can only control how he responds. So as not to cause a wedding train wreck, here's my advice. I think you should go. Hold your head up - wear something that makes you feel amazing and have a jolly good time. Your husband should put aside his feelings and remember that he's above all this too. He will be giving his daughter away - stepdad is probably there to make mom happy! As for you...it is already apparent that she won't be rolling out the red carpet. So, your job at the wedding is to be there for your husband. He will probably be nervous so his loving, supportive, gorgeous wife by his side will be appreciated. Have a great time!
Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your insight on this matter we are dealing with our feelings and emotions and can't see beyond the hurt right now...the wedding is next summer so we will have some time to think about how to react....right now we are not responding either way to her letter and I pray she will see just how much she has hurt and betrayed her dad. She left our house when she was 16 to go live and try to know her mom ( I encouraged it) but we never dreamed that she would never come back for a holiday (we'd pay) or she hasn't called to wish her dad a Happy father day or Birthday so he does feel betrayed twice!!! Once by his ex wife leaving him with the kids and 2nd his daughter leaving him to go be with his ex wife...as far as the SD how can my SD forgive him for taking his mother away from them and she doesn't forgive me for marrying her dad?
Help me
Help
Yes this is the man that took
Yes this is the man that took her mom away!!! and what is worse that mother will not tell her kids the truth but my DH and his mother and other best friend came to his help with the two small children that she left.....what the kicker is when my DH came home one day from work (way before I came into the picture) he came home to a completely empty house No ceiling fans, refridge, no bottles for the baby, no plates, spoons etc. and a neighbor helped them the BM told the neighbor the whole family was moving she cleaned him out!!!!
This is why we are so darn hurt!! Not only did she hurt him once but she is hurting him again some 25 yrs later by stealing the daughter that he raised
She will only have to answer to the man upstairs, right