A Big Win...and New Concerns
GAL stepped in at the end of June and reinstated SO's parenting time back to the original schedule in the divorce settlement!! A HUGE WIN!! SO had his first overnight with his D(12) since the end of May! It quickly became apparent that she's been bottling up a lot since then and I am so so worried about her.
After lots of disclosures about BM, she begged and pleaded with my SO not to tell the court what she was telling us. She is shouldering the burden of protecting her mother's stress levels because of the current custody battle (did I mention BM filed for the modification first?). She's worried about "being taken away," but couldn't elaborate what she thought that meant. The biggest kicker, she said she doesn't think her current therapist is helping, and that she thinks BM is manipulating the therapist as well. Whenever D brings up issues with BM, therapist calls BM in for a group session - to which BM calls D a manipulative liar and gets in trouble when they get home. D has spent the last month "locked in her room so she doesn't become a bad person" and BM has taken away the cell phone SO bought for her. Therapist is useless, clearly...but not sure how to be rid of her. There have been some insurance hurdles with the new family therapist SO hopes to get straightened out this week. Has anyone had any luck discrediting therapists? I'd love to have this woman's license pulled...but know that is a pipe dream. Right now all we have is D word - but I believe her. This poor child is so broken and beat down...my heart aches for her. I'd love to have concrete proof the therapist is colluding with BM....just don't know how. Can SO attorney subpoena the therapists records? She refused to provide SO anything when he requested....but is bringing mom into sessions with D??!! How is that right??! How can one parent be granted all the access and the other nothing??
My biggest frustration is that all it took was one email to yank D from SO for three months...and yet week after week SO is emailing the GAL with concerns and we are only back to what we had before. BM is showing her crazy on OFW as well....blaming D for all BM shortcomings as a parent....and yet....she stays in that environment.
Next hearing is August. It seems so far away. We keep documenting and documenting and documenting all in hopes we can get her out of that horrible horrible environment.
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Dunno if it is prudent, but
Dunno if it is prudent, but we had a therapist working for us initially who quit when he found out Satan is HC. He was afraid of having to pay a lawyer to defend a lawsuit. Seems like you might have enough to report the therapist to the licensing board or threaten a lawsuit. You could easily leave anonymous bad reviews online. Maybe put her on warning first.
Consult your lawyer and see what the GAL says?
A lot of therapists have a policy against getting involved in custody disputes because of the poo flying in all directions.
If the therapist isn't delivering, fire them.
The therapist works for the client. Not other way around.
Just like a Doctor or Lawyer. Therapists, Lawyers, even Doctors are not rare. Find one that is worth a shit and that will deliver on your expections. Keep firing the failures until you find the one who is effective.
In my state, a parent can see the medical records of a child
In my state, a parent can see the medical records of a child under the age of 15 - you might check your state laws. Can DH just get her another therapist to see on your time? Self pay if you have to? I realize the CO may prevent that, but it might be worth looking in to.
Therapist is most likely
An HCGUBM herself!
All good thoughts!
Ya'll are so thoughtful!
SO requested D records almost immediately after BM took him back to court. Therapist denied the request, replying to both him and BM that D need "extra confidentiality" - she had also refused to release it to the court. SO's attorney will probably end up subpoenaing what she can. We need proof that she is disclosing things to BM and not my SO. In my state, Therapist do have a right to withhold information from the parent if they believe it will harm the child. That is the card this therapist has played.
The issue is that current placement is with BM, therapist hired by BM (unilaterally of course) - a move to fire the therapist will be moot....BM will just keep taking her and probably spin some story on how my SO is trying to take D away from someone she trusts and not caring about her mental health. SO would love to fire and sue her pants off, but wants to get D in with a new therapist first. I want to call out this incompetent witch put her on notice, but right now absolutely convinced it will only harm D.....so we refrain.
There are a few things going
There are a few things going on here.
First, I am very glad SO has access to his child as outlined in the court order .....Are you aware, GALs do NOT have authority reinstate anything. Maybe GAL encouraged bm in very strongest of terms that SHE (bm) better step UP and follow the order. I have experience (more than a little) in this area. It is also possible GAL made direct contact with BM's lawyer to encourage the same.
As far as the therapist goes,, your lawyer should have zero problems exposing therapist in court IF necessary. In the mean time GAL has full access to discuss progress of child, all concerns etc. It is highly doubtful a good GAL will share their findings with you. They should not.
Listen, I get it,,,,all 'this' is very upsetting. The focus should be, 1. is mom following the court order and 2. get BACK into court to increase visitation as close to 50 50 residential as possible.
In my state, and in this case, the court granted GAL authority
The GAL in this case and in my state was granted authority by the court to make adjustments to the placement while litigation is on-going. I have zero issues with the GAL, she holds her cards close (which can be frustrating, but completely understandable). SO is seeking full custody and primary placement - next court date is August. BM is constantly in contempt, but most importantly, conducting herself in a way that is harming D.