Entitled SD16 has DH wrapped around her finger
Im really going to keep this as short as possible.
So my DH and I both have 2 children from other relationships each. I’ve always held down a job, have been independent since my teens. I’ve never had to ask my parents for anything simply because I knew they weren’t going to get it for me. This could be my problem. They weren’t exactly poor, just didn’t make us feel worthy of asking for materialistic things other kids our age had. I always worked and bought my own things. DH would spend our last $5 (true story) to treat SD and her friends to McDonald’s milkshakes. Had that been my kid, I would’ve told them nah, not today. He’d Buy $500 camera for blogging, latest iPhone (always breaks), whatever expensive beauty products she’d ask for. It gets to the point where she has so much crap, she throws things away that are still packaged like pencils, stationery crap NEVER USED SHIT! Buys clothes by the boat load and it wouldn’t matter if it cost $10 or $500, things have no value for her because it’s abundant. SD asked for an $800 puppy, puppy ‘was life’ never walks her, feeds, pets, cares or shows love to the poor thing! Now she’s basically my dog. Never helps out around the house, unless she wants a ride somewhere or have friends over or I get upset because she won’t pick up after herself. Always blames others for anything wrong she does. SD is very needy, always wants and begs for things, becomes obsessed then interest is lost after a while. Sports were her life.. now she’s going to become rich and famous by blogging, has no college plans and DH is backing her up. I would mention lots of manipulative situations she’s put DH & BM through, but thats a whole other subject. To be brief, Child protective services has been involved x2 because she complained on both her parents. And I see the manipulation the lies, she gets yelled at then hugged to death after the water works. SK do something wrong DH explains how they’re wrong with plenty of hugs and kisses, no matter how low the morals were behind the mistake. My BK do something, DH wants them punished seriously and my parental skills are judged. And My BK do not have 1/2 as many toys or clothes like his. I want them to be independent and creative and not always have their hands out. I’m not sure if I’m too strict of a mom, or he’s too lenient of a dad. Am I crazy?Because they sure as hell make me feel that way. Latest project, he’s taking her across country to San Francisco for some kind of social Media shit she’s expected to sign autographs for her fans after she returns from a Hawaii trip with grand parents that she doesn’t like. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you:)
- Holymolly33's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I’m starting to doubt
I’m starting to doubt everything I know. I really dont want BK brought up in such environment. Every time I point out to DH what I see, he ends up blowing it off or siding with SK. I’m sick of it all!
Firstly, welcome to the site!
Firstly, welcome to the site! Glad you found us. It would be useful to know whether DH's kids live with you full time, as he certainly sounds as though he is behaving like a "Disney Dad" ie who spoils his kids when they are with them, and doesn't enforce proper discipline and boundaries, because he is scared they will withdraw from him.
It sounds like SD16 is behaving like a dictator who will eg call social services if mummy and daddy do not do her bidding constantly. As such she has been trained to be a narcissist who will always have dysfunctional relationships, will have trouble holding down a job, or keeping friends or partners.
Your DH sounds like a seriously crap parent, and moreover, not a very good partner, either! Does he realise he is driving you away with his behaviour? If it were me, I would be making serious exit plans tbh.
usually a disney dad
who is NOT comfortable parenting his OWN ferals will double down on someone ELSE'S kid and become a drill sgt....usually to SM's bios.
Once again the scales try to balance. If you have no "ours" kid, I'd say get out now before he bankrupts you.
At the very least have separate finances.
I'd say let him parent as he
I'd say let him parent as he sees fit EXCEPT for the part where he criticizes your parenting. I'd nip that in the bud. Tell him that as soon as he takes input on HIS parenting, you will listen to his input on YOURS, but until that time he can shut his piehole. And say that every time he opens his mouth about your kids. But also stop trying to tell him anything about his daughter.
You aren't crazy and you aren
You aren't crazy and you aren't too strict. I bet your respect for this guy is shrinking by the day, however.
I don't know, people on here
I don't know, people on here stay for 30 years with this kind of man.
Lots of reasons. People stay
Lots of reasons. People stay with abusers, child molesters, corporate thieves and murderers. I don't have to agree with their choice to stay in order to use some empathy to understand why.
My empathy wears out after a
My empathy wears out after a bit, when people won't take any action to improve their lives and just complain about it endlessly. (Not you, OP).
You both have very different
You both have very different parenting styles and it can be difficult enforcing them when you see one child basically getting away with murder. The inconsistency between you and your H is modeled behavior that your kids are picking up on and it can/will cause problems if something doesn't change. I don't think you're strict you seem to have structure and are "parenting". Your H on the other hand is not providing structure and raising an entitled brat.
Liesa nd CPS stood out to me
The important part is that you dont have YOUR kids taken away because of false abuse allegations/neglect allegations.
Get some nanny cams for when SD is around. I am more concerned with this aspect than the inequality of stuff given between children. The obvious solution is to separate finances and discuss finances/financial goals with hubby. Does he have a retirement savings? Does he contribute/pay for household, or are you forking out all your paychecks to cover bills and expenses?
My take on things is its his money = he can spend on what he wants as long as he has his portion of bills covered. The blogging thing - hes paying for all this travel? Does she have actual fans and sponsorships? Or is applie pie in the sky thinking?
HIs parenting - I like the suggestion of "until he takes direction from YOU he has no right to direct you". Add to that, keep your boundaries with YOUR kids firm. They will grow up to be happy, functioning adults and DH will either realize his mistakes (too late) or bury his head in the sand when his little darling fails to launch in the world and he is stuck paying for everything past 18.
SEPARATE FINANCES. IF DH WANTS TO SPOIL HIS PRECIOUS SNOWFLAKE, NOT ON YOUR DIME.