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My bm is so stupidddd...

hismineandours's picture

So a month ago she calls up asking to have ss14 this weekend-was going to through him an allnite birthday party at some video game place and wanted him to bring two of his new friends. Now, remember she hasnt seen her kid in 3 months-has only seen him maybe 3 times in the past year or so, doesnt call him with any sort of regularity, and pays no cs. Last year, she told dh she wanted to terminate her rights to him. He's been at our house a little less than 2 months and while he has made a couple of friends, they are actually decent kids, and I dont believe that the parents would ever allow their kids to go for a weekend with a kid they were just getting to know, a parent they knew nothing about, in a city an hour away. Just dumb.

Well, she of course told ss how she had all this planned and wasnt it going to be great? Dh never gave her an answer one or another. She called again two weeks ago and only spoke to ss, again about how awesome this party was going to be.

The other day, dh finally told ss that it wasnt going to happen, that we were having a party for him here, with his friends, on that weekend. SS was initially ok with this-UNTIL he talked to bm again and she made him feel guilty and his older sister made him feel guilty for not coming. Then he decided he did not want a party at our house, but wanted to go to bm's.

Soooo, after all this drama-dh tells me last night that bm never even had a way to come up here and get ss. Planned this BIG event and never had a way to get him. Offered to dh to "pay" someone to bring him to her. Dh doesnt drive so it wouldnt be him. Hmmm, I guess that leaves me. There is no amount of money she could pay me to get me to do that. And she also accused dh of trying to keep her son from her. You havent taken your court ordered visitation for months on end. How is that keeping him away from you?

I almost feel as if she never intended to have this party it was just some sort of set up to make dh and I look like the bad guys because we wouldnt let him go. She's such an idiot.

On the bright side we did get our federal tax return this morning including the deduction for ss14 that bm already claimed. I am guessing the IRS will be contacting her soon and she wont be too happy Smile

Comments

VioletsareBlue's picture

Wow. The things these BMs do still amazes me ... and it probably shouldn't.
I hope your SS is OK and knows the truth about what happened. Sucks for him.

The fact that parents fuck up their kids for their own selfish reasons is beyond me.

Hang in there!

stepmama2one's picture

She shouldnt be able to just come back into his life and act like she has never screwed him over. On the other hand if your husband would of told her from the begining then that would of taken care of the situation earlier. I, like you, dont think the mother should be able to just pop up in his life whenever she feels fit for her but your DH needs to make known what he intends to do whether it be letting her have the child or not. Im not defending the BM in no way I just know from experience how irritating it can be. Just like my SD's mom. My husband has custody of her. When softball season started DH, even though he didnt have to, asked BM if it would be okay for SD to play softball this summer. He said we would pay for everthing, all she would need to do is allow him to have her when its gametime or practices, because BM doesnt have a car. She agreed. Well of course this weekend is SD's first game and she is with BM this weekend. We have been texting BM for 2 weeks now asking her if she is going to get her and take her to her game. We have told her the schedule, what time pictures are, what time her game starts and she has not in these two weeks texted us back to let us know what is going on. So with the purposed summer calendar that DH and BM are suppose to supply each other for summer visitation we included a letter about the softball game coming up. SD went to her mom's last night for her 3 hour visit so we told her to give the letter in the envelope to her mom. When we picked SD back up we asked what her mom said about the letter. SD said,"Oh...Well she didnt even read it." When we asked if she said anything about softball and if she was going to take her to the game SD says,"No she didnt say anything about softball. When I asked her about it she just ignored me." So as you can see it can be very irritating. Even though it seems like you shouldnt waist time on the BM it can make the situation solved faster if your DH just says no sooner. Dont give her a reason if you dont want to. She doesnt need to know why.

simifan's picture

ROFL - She kicked him out then had the nerve to claim him !!!! The audacity never ceases to amaze me.