BM now wants sole custody after 2 years of joint custody
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Does anybody out there have experience in the ex getting sole custody after having joint custody for 2 years? We are moving out of state and now she is claiming she needs all legal custody because we will be out of state and in my opinion this is just another way to make him "pay". How likely is it that the court will side with her on giving her sole custody since we are moving out of state.. Oh yeah she only wants to have my DH see the kids 4 weeks A YEAR. Has anyone ever heard of this?
We are going through this
I don't have answers because I'm in the midst of this as well. BM and husband divorced when SD was 2. Divorce decree calls for joint (50/50 custody). So that was exercised for the next 9 years. Then BM decided to move an hour away and leave SD with us. Husband didn't want to rock the boat so he never changed custody arrangement. Four years later, BM now wants SD to live with her and to have full custody. In fact, she doesn't want husband to have ANY visitation. He has proposed every other weekend only but she is fighting that. Don't know if she can get him down to NO visitation, I think she is using it to pump up the amount of money husband is willing to pay her to continue seeing SD, now 15. We'll see.
Sorry you have to go through this! I don't think she could get sole custody but I think she could get primary physical and legal custody because of the move.
Thanks for this information.
Thanks for this information. We are so tired of all the drama and crap we just want to give in at this point because she doesn't allow my DH to have any decision making now, even though he has tried for years to be a part of the kids' life. She just doesn't allow it or manipulates the situation so he doesn't have a choice. In addition his kids are teenagers so at this point I don't really see a difference in changing it to sole custody because we are going to have to pay more child support anyway. My DH thinks that if he gives into this that they will take more rights away from him. We are at a loss and just are so tired of fighting in courts and mediation. I just want all of it over with.
i know the courts like to keep joint
unless there is a significant change in circumstance that would make sole custody better for the child. legal custody doesnt have to chaneg if u move out of state...legal refers to equal say in decision making involving the child...and wouldnt increase CS. sole physical custody might if it means y'all have the kids less. as far as i understand, visitation will lower CS but actual legal custody wouldnt.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Indeed I think more people
Indeed I think more people need to know the difference between physical and legal custody. Physical custody is who the child lives with, and is basically "full custody". Legal custody gives the NCP various rights including visitation, input on medical needs and issues, as well as the ability to ask for a second opinion and knowledge of all the childrens activities (i know, HAHA in most cases but still).
If BM has full physical custody she does NOT need full legal custody, as LEGALLY she's allowed to take the child anywhere in the world she sees fit. However in some cases this also makes her responsible for more financially when it comes to visitation. If you move then yes it's your responsibility to arrange visitation, however she's suppoed to comply with it as well.
There's no reason for her to have sole legal custody however, so I wouldn't worry about it, and she has no grounds to ask for it.
~Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak!~
i thought it was the other way around
doesnt matter who the kid resides w, if u have joint legal custody u cant take the kid out of state. joint legal means an equal say in the parenting decisions on unbringing of the child. our BM has sole physical but we have joint legal w visitation and there is a clause in the parenting plan that says she cant move out of state w SD w/o FH agreeing. how this would actually play out, i dont know...but still. we never asked for that...that comes w joint legal in our state.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Get a court ruling before you leave.
A lot of people feel that the courts are not in their favor. When you are doing what's best for your kids, they do try to see through the BS and do what is best. If you were to have a judge rule on the fact that your situation has changed, thus requiring you to relocate and you want a month in the summer, specific holidays, etc. The courts will consider all of those things and try to work something out. The one thing that I do know is that they will not grant sole custody to one parent when the other parent has been responsible (financially, emotionally, etc.) They look at the bond with the child and parent and NO ONE and I mean NO ONE wants to intefere with a positive relationship. If you can't afford an attorney, do mediation first.
Step Mother's Motto this week is:
You don't have to LOVE me, you don't even have to LIKE me... But you will RESPECT me.