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OT-how long after you dated did things start to go sour? it's about my sister

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 9:03am

Although I have WARNED my sister many times about dating someone with young kids, she of course thinks "she's above me" and that nothing will happen with her because she is just so awesome...sure, that's why you also have issues with your kids, whatever. Anyway, she's been with this guy barely a month and within a week or two had met his kids, they go out as HE claims "a family"...lol I just crack up. I have to say that I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So, how long did it take you before it all hit the fan? For me it was about 6 months or so after we moved in together...

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DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 9:15am

For me it was about 2 years and that was about a year after I moved in. I actually used to get along great with the skids. I came into the relationship thinking that I could like them, spend time with them, be the "cool" step mom etc. Unfortunately, after 2 years of getting critiqued, knocked down, criticized, etc by BMs and then eventually skids... I lost interest and the resentment started setting in. I decided.. why bother??? When I DID try, I just go walked all over and treated like shit, so what is the point.

I just focus my love and attention on our BS2 and my DH and the people in my life that truly care about me and I about them. I honestly? I really couldn't care less whether skids like me or not as long as they are respectful of me, then whatever, I don't need to go to movies with them, buy them things or be their best bud. DH can do that.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

Submitted by justanothergurlNJ on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 9:55am

Add me to the after we moved in together. I guess when he was living home with Mom she still felt she had some control over him, yea I spent some time around them BUT I wasn't there in the morning to see their smiling faces, I wasn't making breakfast, and tucking them in at night. She still has "conversations with BF about them calling me Mom, which they do not and I do not encourage it. They have a Mother for lack of better words, when they do slip and call me Mom I ALWAYS correct them, I stay out of all dicplining issues, the onky time I involve myself is if I see them doing something that may cause serious harm. I've said to Bf what is the lesser of 2 evils letting them get hit by a car or yell their name to get their attention. Add to the fact that she is a gold digger and already suing my landlord for an accident at our house, where my landlord was not at fault or neglectful her misbehaved child did NOT listen the 300000000000 he was told to not do something. Knowing her she would sue me for every hair on my head for every little bump, bruise and scrap. I AINT SAYIN SHE A GOLD DIGGA BUT

ThatGirl's picture

Submitted by ThatGirl on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 10:19am

Somewhere between 6-12 months after living together. All was wonderful at first, skids loved me, I loved them back. I went grocery shopping with them in mind, buying things I normally wouldn't. I loaned clothes/makeup/etc to SD. I put an LCD projector in the boys' room for their games and movies, another in the family room. I setup an office and computer for them... then ended up having to hide food, lock away all electronics, put a password and monitoring software on their computer, lock up my bedroom and bathroom, keep guard over the washer and drier to ensure my clothes weren't stolen... all the stuff that we all complain about on a daily basis here.

Never said I was your mom's picture

Submitted by Never said I wa... on Thu, 07/12/2012 - 2:51pm

For me things didnt get bad until 4-5 yrs later ad here i am 7 yrs into it and its at its worse

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 07/17/2012 - 1:09am

Ah, thanks for all your comments...sorry, with all the excitement about CS ending I forgot I posted this.

Now, back to reality Smile I think it really hits once you move in, as I can see that in most instances here or a bit after that...I guess it's true that while dating they think we will disappear... lol Oh well, she's just in the dating stage...but here are a few things that to me are already HUGE RED FLAGS lol

1. a pic of my sister and his daughter playing video games and he says "my girls"...hmmm lol oh my
2. a pic of kids with my sister at a ball game, a bit sunburned and some old lady (don't know who it is) that knows him says "I guess someone forgot the sunscreen" lol

It is two boys and 1 girl all about 10-12 or so...hmmm...ah, it shall be interesting. I do feel bad for my sister, because of course, I don't wish this nightmare upon ANYONE...but at the same time, for many years she thought things were bad with me and crazy and skid because of ME...I think she will SOON realize how difficult it truly is. We shall see.