You are here

OT - how to get kids to be have without being the bad guy...hope it helps someone

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Sat, 02/04/2012 - 8:22am

I found this and since I know many here have these issues, I thought I'd pass it along...

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/kids-behave-without-being-bad-guy-19300...

Comments

smileygirl's picture

Submitted by smileygirl on Sat, 02/04/2012 - 12:09pm

Agreed. You can set a good example all you want but as long as they are exposed to the other extreme end of the sprectrum it's hard to prove a point with it. You can only hope and pray that someday the kids see that they don't want to be like that terrible unhappy parent they had. I'm hopeful that the combination of a good example and church lessons will win out over the psycho BM's horrid example but so far...she's winning by sheer virtue of the amount of damage already done to the kids.

smileygirl's picture

Submitted by smileygirl on Sat, 02/04/2012 - 12:19pm

I did print it for DH. Alot of the things mentioned like having written rules with consequences fitting the crime AND for Dear God, stop making empty threats your just losing respect are things that I've been preaching for years.

I will say it's easier said than done though a lot of the time. For instance, I would have never thought to put on the list of rules for the house "No setting the house on fire" until SS did it and what exactly is a fitting punishment for potentially killing my entire family by setting DS's room ablaze?! I know it wasn't the going to bed with no dinner that DH gave him....

Goincrazy40's picture

Submitted by Goincrazy40 on Sat, 02/04/2012 - 4:17pm

I am debating sending this to FDH. We have a 10 yr old and 12 yr old and their behavior is deplorable while here. They are good in general ... At school and such. But at home, it's fighting, hitting, back talk, screaming and whining.

I cannot stand it.

Of course, being just a fiancé, I get no say. But FDH's parenting skills are just terrible. He wants to be a buddy. So all I can see is this stuff getting worse as they get older and want to exert more control.

We just fought about the lazy disrepectful kids earlier today and I said I wasn't saying anything anymore. If he wants them to have rotten food in their room because they can't manage to get their lunchboxs out of their backpacks, fine by me. If he wants to raise a kid that screams at him to shut up, I guess that is his business.

So maybe today isn't the best day to send him a parenting article? :?