I always wanted to get divorced so I could ship my bios off EOW, LOL. JK....my kids would go to their Grandmas when they were little but as they grew up, they had EC and it was rare they wanted to go to Grandmas house.

I want kid free weekends now that I have SS5 he constantly picks with BD's is disrespectful and his new thing is to break stuff, I just need a break from him sometimes. I would love to tell DH I need a SS free weekend but I'm pretty sure he would be pissed about it so I just say kid free.

I've always found that funny too.

However it is nice to call granny and say can you take bios.

But dh and I were parents first, we had families, so our honeymoon time comes in our golden years. However it sure is nice that dd19 watches dd12 so we now have date nights after 11 years!

Because ther are times when you want to do adult things.

BMs and BDs both want kid free time. Why is that a bad thing?

OH THE SHEER JUDGEMENT LOL. Ok I'll spell it out for you.

"If you were still married to your ex you would never have a completely free kid weekend, or would you?"

Hmmm, we are NOT STILL MARRIED however that does NOT mean he stopped being a parent to said children-If married I'm sure we would have found sitters/grandparents to have time to ourselves.

"...but why complain about you not having a kid free day (not even skid related) because your ex won't take YOUR kids? Sorry, I don't get it. Anyone else wonder why it's perfectly ok for WOMEN to want a kid free weekend, even when that means not having THEIR kids, but the same women complain if the ex-husband wants a KID free weekend?"

Ummm, are you perhaps forgetting that these are HIS KIDS also? And the children deserve to be parented by their father-their father owes it to his children to parent and spend time and do things with them. Sorry if you don't get it doesn't make your opinion right or valid. I don't complain that my exh has a wknd to himself at all.Shit he has 26-28 days to himself every month you know? Others and myself understand that adult time is important. Being a martyr tied to children 365 days is not healthy. YOU DO NOT STOP BEING A WOMAN and individual when you have children. THAT is not your entire identity. It is very healthy to have 'me time' and 'us time' and 'family time'.

Here's the thing-you are NO LONGER MARRIED, by virtue of being single - as a whole they will have more active social lives, either with friends, dating, trying to find a new partner-is this not true for singles w/out kids??? So because now you have kids you should NOT have a social life or date?? This DOES take time and who wants to drag their kids on a date or introduce them to their dates from the getgo? Not many sane people.

I really dont' give a rats ass what judgemental people think, but I have said many times...divorce hands you a shitty deal-YES for the kdis but ALSO for the parents-but the alternative of staying in an abusive marriage wasn't worth it to me.

As a single working mom with custody I am mom/dad for my kids during the week and do it all, homework, cooking, errands, cleaning, working, school meetings and events and conferences and dentist appts and SO MUCH MORE. IF I were married we would likely divide these responsibilities up a bit-or one person would still be at home cooking while I ran errands, etc. SO one of the only 'perks' of carrying a heavy load and being divorced is having EOW to recharge myself. I will never apologize for this.

This can involve time with my friends, with my boyfriend building OUR relationship, visiting family, taking a wknd trip, sitting at home, cleaning the entire house,working on my yard, cooking for the week, going to the grocery store, home improvement store, other errands, in summer it may invovle going to the pool, it may involve me sitting at home sunbathing with some cold beers, or watching a lifetime movie marathon, or painting walls, reading a book.

It's also the ME time to get back in touch with myself. This downtime allows me to be a BETTER MOTHER to my kids because I can get rid of the stress of doign it all 24/7 for 26-28 days out of the month.

I'm so very sorry if this somehow OFFENDS your sense of propriety

I think everyone deserves a little down time. And that includes anyone with kids. It's not supposed to be a prison sentence.
Couples that have bio-kids take trips and breaks from their families and jobs and sometimes even each other for a guys weekend or a girls weekend. Otherwise you go total burnout!!
I think clearing out the attic sometimes makes you a better person. I just know I was always refreshed and able to handle the constant responsibilities and tasks that come with running a 5 person household so much better after taking some time to myself. Some times just a day is great to have or just a few hours. No one is a robot.
I think I know what you're getting at by the statement you made.
Personally, I don't care who you are.. you need some time away from your kids every once in a while.
I don't understand why you think it's a bad thing for someone to want a break?
I've been trapped in a house with 3 kids for too long. It's not pretty.

Since my Bio's are older whenever DH and I want a KID free weekend, we stay at a hotel for the night. Order in, watch tv, connect sexually, shower together. BM once called DH and stated that HE needed to take his daughter EVERY weekend because she was out of hand and she couldn't deal with her. My DH flat out told her, "HELL NO, I need my weekends to do what I need to do. Now, if you can't handle her, than give her to me full time and I'll relieve you of your burden." Of course THAT won't fly, because that would mean losing the CS and we all know how some BM's refuse to let that cash cow fly out the window. I was very proud that DH didn't jump at the opportunity of having his little princess with us every weekend. Made me realize that he loves her, sure, but he values his time away from her just as much as I do.

OF course I get it flabbergasted, those are extreme cases though of course. I'm not sure what the OP was referring to but in most cases I think it's PERFECTLY NORMAL to want down time.

You cannot use the analogy-if you're married you'd have the kids all the time-because you're NOT married, SINGLES normally have more of a social life, and also if you are custodial a heavy burden and need to de-compress.

I understand where the OP is coming from. She is not saying that the bio father shouldnt take the kids on the weekend. what she is saying if a conflict comes up and he cant take him the BM (lets face it it is most cases the BM) will flip the hell out because she "needs a break". However in most cases the kids are in school and the BM's are Stay at Home Moms. Hello what does she get during school hours a BREAK where in most cases our Better Halves work 40+ hours a week to support BM's house hold and try and contribute as much as possible to their own house hold.

Honestly, when I became a mother, I assumed it to be a full time job. Married, not married, no matter.
I am FT parent. There is NO visitation with bio-dad. There is also no CS.
I can honestly say that I would NOT look forward to a kid-free EOWE. We are so busy during the week with work, school, homework, errands, activities, etc, that I don't often feel like we spend a lot of time together M-F. I actually enjoy my kids and like to spend time with them. We will do a pizza night and watch movies, or we'll sit around and jabber, or whatever. I, personally, don't feel like I need to be away from them to re-charge or get in touch with "me."
Does that mean I NEVER do things without them? No way. If DH and I want to see a movie, we go. I just don't personally need EOWE away from my kids to recharge. I'd actually be rather sad if they were gone EOWE.

I'm not passing judgement on those who want the "time off," though. This is just my personal opinion.

Interesting, most of the women bitching at other bm's are MARRIED.

Meaning....support at home financially, emotionally, physically at homes and outside the home. Interesting. YOU ARE NOT doing it alone.

I also will go on a limb and say those that think that parenting is their only role normally have crap relationships/marriages/infidelity/depression/anxiety. I know-I see it ALL the damn time and I dare anyone try and make me believe their life is picture perfect and they are mother f'in teresa. PUUUHHHLLLLEEEAAAZZZEEE

Always....expect....entitled...constantly...all of these I've seen in the above posts.

Thems thar are fighting words. In the real world, there are very few absolutes.

Every parent, single or married - custodial or not - MALE OR FEMALE, deserves SOME time to charge their batteries. As overit2 says, it makes you a better parent if you aren't burnt out.

What doesn't work so well is when one parent decides they want ALL of their time free and decides to foist the child(ren) off on:
1. the other parent
2. the grandparent(s)
3. other family
4. friends
5. sitters

Ok, the original post was not clear. You were kinda open ended and not specific.

I get what you were saying about people that choose to be custodial parents (for the CS) but then pawn their kids off on someone else ALL the time. I see it a lot. I think we all prolly know someone like that.
But most parents are not like that.
I think that good hardworking single parents deserve some time to themselves. That is not the same as some deadbeat moocher who lives off the child support that never wants to take care of their kid but farms them out to everyone bc "they need a break". That is just an excuse. They are never going to be the parent that they should.
There is a difference. Some people are lazy stupid excuses for humans.. regardless of the situation they are in!!

Being a BM and being the CP of my 3 kids, I knew I would never have a weekend free. Heck I didn't have any free time when I was married, why would I think having free time once divorced would surface? I collected CS and was the CP for 10+ years. The only time I had a free weekend was if my mom would take them. A CO means nothing and the ex never took his children. He didn't want to parent so I should be penalized because he paid CS? CS gives him the right NOT to parent his kids? PLEASE.... cause we all now that CS covers everything for kids, right?

I enjoyed that time with my now adult kids.

I remember way back when, when EXH used to get my BS every weekend. And then, when I didn't have MY BS, my DHs kids would be at my house. The situation got very ugly for a while and eventually DH and I broke up. (We weren't married yet) One of the reasons was that I felt that if I didn't have MY son on the weekends there was no reason why HIS kids should be in my house every weekend. After 6 months apart and a new visitation arrangement with BM (EOW instead of EVERY weekend) we reconciled. I was very resentful that I had those kids in my home when my boy wasn't there. These days EXH sees my son maybe once every 6 months. Pays no CS and honestly, I prefer my son to be home with me anyway. BM on the other hand, dumps SD11 at everyones home on her weekends. Which I find a little sad. When does she spend time with her daughter? She's at school all day, goes to her GMs after school to wait for BM to pick her up after work, is with us EOW, and at everyone else's house but her BMs when it's BM weekend. THAT I find incredibly bad. But whatever, not my problem.

I don't like my kids free weekends (that means no kids at all) I LOVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEE THHHHHEEEEEMMMM!!
My own ones spend eowe with their dad and they are having a great time together whereas SD 7 gets to go to her mum.
Now WHY shall I feel bad about that?If my babies would be pushed around or have no good place to go I would rather let them stay here of course but instead I make the very best out of it, SO and I are having a great time nourishing OUR rs , going out for dinner, movies etc.
Sorry, i dont feel guilty about this.
This is a part of the seperation- the core or bio family sy=ticks together 24/7 but in the normal scenario after a divorce/seperation the kids get to spend time with both bio parents.
It is always sad to get seperated and don't get to supply the children with the ideal 24/7 family ideal, but this is life!! There are so many seperated families and I think generally that it is the best to share some times with both bio parents.My kids dad is looking forward to have them this weekend and I am loooking forward to have a great time without all of them, charge my batteries and see them on Monday again!
Guilt, NO!!