I've been reading a lot of the other bloggers, and I don't think that my problems are all that horrifying. There seems to be more tension between my FSD8 and her brother (FSSalmost4)than there is between either of them and myself.

In the beginning I think they were both very wary of me, but FDH made my position/standing pretty clear, so they gradually got used to me being around. I often felt that they thought of me more as an extension of their father rather than as an individual.

As time has gone on, though, that has changed (this makes it sound like years, but it's really only months--hard to believe!). Now they seem to be testing my authority a bit. FSD8 listens to me more often than FSSalmost4, but their father always backs me up if one of them is not listening to me (it's really only little things like Go brush your teeth, Don't jump on the bed, Pick up your toys, That's enough of that before dinner, etc.). Not only that, but they treat me separately now from their father, but not necessarily in a negative way. FSSalmost4 asks me to come dig in the yard with him, or he'll want to show me something even after he has shown his father and recieved approval. FSD8 will bring her dog book to me and ask me which one I like, or will ask me to brush her hair because I don't pull as hard as daddy.

I think that there are a combination of reasons that they don't seem to be causing me a lot of trouble (yet?): FDH's firm support and show of love to both me and them, FDH's own solid authority, lack of BM drama, and the inner attention squabble that is ongoing between the siblings seems to distract them from seeing me as a threat.

I feel bad for FSD8 sometimes, but maybe because I sympathize with her? I know that she's the eldest, but it does seem that she is weighed upon more heavily to take the high road--to the point that, while it's certainly making her more mature, I wonder if she'll resent her brother/parents. Sometimes I have to agree that the boy gets away with a lot, and I've spoken to FDH about this (not in front of the kids). He tells me that he treated her the same way when she was the boy's age. It doesn't really satisfy me, but I do know that when his son gets older FDH will have a lot less sympathy for any tears or whining (he's one of those guys who believe men should be made of tougher stuff, and even now gets annoyed that his ex "is turning [his] son into a sissy").

Anyway, I don't know if there was a coherent flow through any of that. I was just taking a break from work and letting my mind run off on its own. Back to work!