Background - BD24 has been living with BF28 for almost 3 years. Both college grads with a decent life - adulting well for the most part. The relationship brought into it BF's dog and BD's cat.  They live in a costly, but square-foot-challenged one bedroom apt. because it's convenient for work in the city. Doggo was passed around for 4 years as BF tried to figure out his life. Cat has been with BD for 4 years since kittenhood - she's been been responsible for fur child.  Doggo, which is a high-energy, not-your-rocket scientist-breed, is problematic. He's picked up "issues" from puphood. After 3 years of daily life with stepfur doggo, BD is completely losing it....

(last night...calling from out of state....about 3 minutes into the conversation)

BD24:  ....I can't take it...I can't take it anymore! That dog is driving me crazy. I've done everything I know and I can't take it anymore!  We put that stupid dog in training school and he flunked.  He's so stupid and has anxiety over everything. The CBD's are kind of working, but we pay more for that dog's health than our own. BF won't deal with it and I'm done, done, done! 

ME: (suppressing guffaw) Geezuz...breathe already.  Yeah, you've been through the ringer with doggo.  He needs space and someone who can be around more. I think BF should consider letting doggo live with his uncle (this is BF's best friend from childhood who told BF that the doggo needs a home with a yard and consistency and he is willing to take him as he works at home and loves the dog).

BD24: oh no...he won't do that...out of the question. He says, if this was my child it would be part of the package so you have to deal with it.  Mom, I'm the only one who deals with that stupid dog and I'm sick of it. I think he's brain damaged. He ruins everything...pees everywhere...chews up all the toys 5 minutes after you buy him something....won't go outside to pee because it's too cold. I have thoughts about murdering that stupid dog, but then I feel sorry for it because it's not the dog's fault. I swear this is the only animal I have ever hated like this and I feel bad for feeling this way.

ME: Disengage from the dog.

BD24:  What? What does that mean?

ME:  The same thing I did with SD24 to keep me from going insane. Put the ball in BF's court and stop trying to fix doggo's problems.  Crate it when you are at work then let BF deal with everything doggo does. Stop cleaning up after it, stop walking it, stop buying it toys, stop trying to teach it...just STOP.

BD24:  But it barks...whines...and it won't stop. I feel bad for it. It listens to me more than BF, but then it does this passive-aggressive stuff like tears up the pillows or stuff that's mine cuz it gets mad at ME! It ate that whole box of cookies you sent that I put on the counter...every last crumb! I came home to a trail of crumbs and a mangled box. Now the cat is doing weird stuff to get even with doggo. I have no idea what goes on...wish I had one of those nanny cams.  It's like a freekin' Jerry Springer fur episode everyday. 

ME:  (laughing silently)  Put the entire problem in BF's lap.  It's not going to be easy at first, but when he has to be completely accountable for doggo, HE will learn.  Doggo's never been the problem...it's BF. You're an enabler just like me.  Gotta stop.

BD24:  I swear if this was a kid instead of a dog and we were married, it would be the big "D." I thought the dog would get better if it was shown attention and love. I had no idea how screwed up dog is. I wish we had a dog like the dogs I grew up with...our Goldens were the best. Even Mike (border collie) seems mellow compared to freekin' son of satan.  We fight about the stupid dog so much and I'm already stressed out from work and everything else. 

ME:  Ahahahahahaha....glad you're seeing this before considering marriage. It's gonna be okay....go have a glass of wine and chill.

BD24:  Omg...I'm already drinking. Stupid dog. What are you laughing at?  Oh hell no...I'm not gonna even consider marriage or kids for a looooong time (pauses to yell at dog...."dog, no!  No! Stop it! Why are you so F****** stupid!)  I gotta go mom...that asshole just ran through the kitchen with my bra.....

<<<<sigh>>>> BD really wants to love doggo. BF and BD do love each other, but watching them move into adulthood has been pretty funny. Actually, I think I am really laughing at a reflection of my own behavior. Oh the burden of StepFurs.....