Well I have had it pretty easy I guess...

... But I was informed tonight by SO that BM had sent him a long email. She is wanting to increase the time that we have the children. At the moment we have them every Tuesday and EOW. She wants to increase EOW from Fri/Sat nights to Fri/Sat/Sun nights and then look at the possibility of having them 50/50.

SO said that he and I would need to have a good talk before we agreed to 50/50 (damn right we would). But it irks me to know that he has already said okay to the 3rd night EOW weekend without talking to me. And not only, but last weekend SS11 spent some one on one time with us. Great it was nice but holy fricken hell, now BM has caught on and thinks that it would be a really good thing for the kids to spend some more "one on one time" with Dad, and I bet this "one on one time" just happens to be on the nights that we aren't scheduled to have the skids.

The reason why this upsets me is because I am a Step Mum with no Bio kids. I pay 50/50 to the mortgage and all household expenses (including groceries). Now as it stands with CS in this country, even if the parents have 50/50 custody and the man earns more than the woman then he still is required to pay a whopping amount of CS. SS11 and SD9 already eat us out of house and home.. I really can't afford the extra cost if we go 50/50. We keep our monies separate, I have already told him that if we had joint bank accounts it would make me vomit each time I saw money leaving our account to pay CS, so luckilly I don't see that.. but I know that if we go 50/50 i'm not going to be so lucky with the grocery bill.

But like I said, I guess I have had it good so far... just needing to vent

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If you go 50/50 the CS should

If you go 50/50 the CS should be lowered. Maybe google your state's CS calculator and see what it would be. I know ours would drop to almost nothing.

its like that in the uk if

its like that in the uk
if care is 5050 one of the parents can still claim child benefit and tax credit and is therefore deemed the 'parent with care' and is free to apply to the child support agency to get moola off the 'non resident parent'. fooking backwards.

we have the skids (11/9/3) eow fri-mon am and ss11 once a week.
those eow are virtually non existant in my house i might as well work 12 days in a row. at least ill get paid.

If you go through the court

If you go through the court system and get REAL "joint" custody, 50/50 should mean you don't have to pay any child support towards each other. The sad part is it depends on the state. My fiance fought for joint custody but in our state they do not favor joint custody. They want one parent to be primary for whatever reason, unless both parents agree to joint. But what woman would turn down money from the father of her child if she can get it?

We physically have the skids 50/50. But it's called "extended visitation" which means that BM gets $640 in child support from my fiance....it's ridiculous. If we are caring for skid 50% of the time and BM and DF make around the same amount of money, it's stupid that they don't just split day care and other costs.

I think you are smart to keep your finances separate from your husband's. We're trying to decide what to do after we get married, and I also told him that I hate the idea that MY money would be going to BM. I'd bring up your concerns about money with H regarding changing to 50/50. Then later, make sure BM knows that you'll only agree to it if your child support gets lowered or completely eliminated.

At least your husband

At least your husband discusses it with you. I am expected to put up or shut up. If I express my opinion, I am trying to cause trouble. He thinks it's unreasonable for me to want a set schedule of when the da@# kid will be with us!!! I told him it's because I don't want my life on hold or at the mercy of BM whenever she wants to dump the kid on us!!

I never did understand the

I never did understand the whole concept of alienating the kids from their fathers as punishment or keeping the kids from their fathers UNTIL it benefits the ex-beast to ceremoniously DUMP the kids on the same 'unfit daddy' whenever she sees fit. But, then again, I never did understand forced visitation with a 20+ year old either :jawdrop: .

Before you sign off on this with your SO, make sure there is an expectation (in writing) that along with 50/50 custody, the CS goes bye-bye. Don't worry, I have a feeling that his ex will never accept those terms. But, it will answer any question behind her true motives now won't it?

Thanks for comments. I think

Thanks for comments. I think it's a great idea to agree to only have the skids 50/50 if BM agrees to drop CS. However, as the law stipulates that he would still have to pay money she won't drop it completley. She may however agree to him paying a lesser amount. See BM doesn't have a job, nor does she want one. She is quite happy living off the state, it works well as she is very much a party person and likes going out and having friends over as much as she can, so having to get up every morning and go to work wouldn't really suit her lifestyle.

Our last kid is 18 in June and all the payments end. Let me see...what could I do with an extra $1200 a month???? I'm thinking Bahamas Baby!!

This is what I get for enduring those nasty ass little mer fers!