Shopping Trip
My SO' STB 19 year old daughter came over last night and they went to dinner. She has seen him twice this summer, his BD and then Father's Day. she's been back from college all summer and living with BM. He asks her and her sister 24 over all the time. Usually no response. So when he told me she was coming over and they were going to dinner, I thought GOOD! But wondered why this time because he is driving her back to college next weekend, 10 hour drive and they will have a lot of time to catch up (her 2nd year of college). Well when they got back from dinner she walked in with lots of huge bags. Of course, he took her on a shopping trip to get things for her apartment at college. BM had sent him a list of 'thing' that she needed for her kitchen. Of course it took a shopping trip for her to come over...I should have known.
On another note, I saw on his cell phone a text from BM, saying 'let me know when your available to get together to talk'. WTF! It's never over! Of course, he hasn't said anything to me about this yet, I'll just wait and see what he says. BM is enabling, and one of those helicopter moms that cannot mind her own business and give her daughters a chance to grow up. I'd like to know why they have to meet to talk, there are plenty of phone calls, and texts, and e-mails, I'm sure. Not sure whether to mention seeing the text or not...think I'll wait and give him the chance to say something first, then if not...I'll mention it. What do you think?
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Comments
I am pissed for you
I am pissed for you
It's sad and frustrating when
It's sad and frustrating when even the few visits they do make are sullied by cynicism about why they are there. I'm at the point where I am annoyed when they don't visit and annoyed when they do! I would be fuming over that text, but then BM is not so much a caring helicopter parent as horribly manipulative. I would give him the chance to say something first.
Yes, I will give it a few
Yes, I will give it a few days, he is usually pretty good at keeping me in the loop. If he doesn't say something by the end of the week, I'll tell him I saw her text and see what he says. And your right, there should be no secret dealings going on. BM is just so 'up their butts'. they use SO as an ATM, I just don't know why he can't see it, actually, he does see it, he's has said this himself, just don't know why he falls for it every time.
Anytime a man has "secret
Anytime a man has "secret meetings" with another woman it is a BIG BIG PROBLEM. Most of the time that means sex but even if there is no sex no married man needs a "secret meeting" with any other woman but especially not with his ex.
If I ever caught my DH doing that I would change the locks and never speak to him again.
I think it is absolutely
I think it is absolutely ridiculous that he thinks it's OK to fail to mention this text. It tells me he has every intention of meeting her. And frankly, it sounds like they've already discussed it and she's trying to firm up the details. I am seriously so pissed for you. And this is only one half of the issue you posted here.
IMO, there is NOT a reason
IMO, there is NOT a reason (except maybe a life threatening medical condition)divorced parents should get together to "talk" about a 19 and 24 yo. period.
Both of these girls are legal ADULTS and should be able to have a relationship with each parent separately!
WHY is he getting phone calls, text and emails about ADULT children? Why isn't he calling the girls and forming a relationship with them instead of having to go through their mother?
This doesn't sound good to me....
Would it be acceptable for him to receive calls, text and email from some random woman he knows?