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Nothing sounds as good as a DH that teaches his kids respect

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Thu, 04/14/2022 - 7:41am

Ah the sweet sound of my DH educating SD on how NOT to leave the kitchen after you cook something.

I have alway maintained with the kids..I don't care what you cook just follow some basic rules.

1. Ask before you use ingrediants that in short supply.  I may need them for a meal so as please ask if there is only 1 pepper left, etc.  Items that I have a crap ton of...go for it.

2.  Clean up after you are done.

3. Don't burn the house down.  Don't leave the stove or the oven unattended.  

Simple rules right...

Apparently not...SD likes to cook but just leaves dishes etc all over.  That is hard NO for me.  Nothing more gross that used dishes just sitting in the sink to smell.   Not to mention, if dirty dishes are in the sink..makes it hard for me to use the sink when I am cooking. Very much irritates me. 

The last few times SD has cooked...she has left all of the dirty dishes in the sink...the dishwasher is literally next to the sink, not even a step away.  She has also left my kitchenaid mixing bowl dirty still on the mixing stand with egg shells sitting next to it.  The other day the sink was filled with used dishes from her making mac and cheese.  I sent pictures to DH so he was aware of the situation.  In the case of the mixing bowl, etc..DH cleaned that up because he didn't want the dogs to get into that mess...and he cleaned up the mac and cheese dishes because SD wasn't here yesterday and even he can't stand dirty rotting dishes for very long.

Ah..this morning SD went to make something to eat....Dh pounced like a cat on mouse.  

DH:  SD...we need to talk about cooking.  If you cook YOU WILL CLEAN UP afterward.  

SD:  I know I do it later after I eat. 

DH:  There is NO later.  You clean up right after you cook.  Putting the dirty dishes in the sink does not count.  You rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. If the dishwasher is full of clean dishes..you empty it and put the dirty ones in there.  If I find you have left dishes in the sink again ..YOU WILL NOT COOK.  I don't want to hear you will do it "later".  Later never comes for you...and WE ARE NOT THE CLEANING STAFF.  Do I make myself clear here...

SD:  Yea but..

DH:  There is NO but..clean your mess right away or you don't cook.  Its that simple and the end of this discussion.

 

Music to my ears...I hate a ditry kitchen. Dh is serious...if she does it again, he will pounce on her and tell her no on the cooking and she can have a pb and j or some fruit from the fridge.

I will say this irritates DH more since "later" is/was Beaver's mode of operation.  It was always later..but later never arrived and DH would end up doing the dishes since they would have been sitting there for days.  Beaver at the time was a stay at home mom....but still couldn't find time to put the dishes in the dishwasher (or cook for that matter), which was next to the sink at their old house.  Dh hates the smell of dirty rotting dishes..I think it gives him PTSD from living with Beaver.

 

 

 

Comments

Noway2b1's picture

Submitted by Noway2b1 on Thu, 04/14/2022 - 9:42am

I always expected my kids to clean up after themselves, but my DH really helped it solidify when we got married and moved into our newly built home. DH is a bit more ocd than I am, and he's a bit more ocd with MY kid than I've ever seen him be with his own grown children or grown grandchildren but hey, I can now proudly say my son makes a solid mess cooking and there is no evidence he did so. DH did have a melt down one time over some (like maybe 3?) shreds of cheese being missed one time he wanted me to "save the mess for your boy to clean up" and I refused. There also was a spoon one time and I refused to summon son from the basement to wash it.  We do both leave the kitchen when son is cooking because it can be traumatic the amount of stuff and mess. I'm always pleased that it is now never noticeable. When he was 16-17 he would grumble about the "nit picky" stuff and I explained "one day you'll likely have roommates, do YOU want to clean up after them?if there are rules around kitchen space every thing flows better in life" 

caninelover's picture

Submitted by caninelover on Thu, 04/14/2022 - 9:37am

I'm OCD about dishes. 

I can't stand dishes left in the sink, especially overnight.  Everything is cleaned or loaded in the dishwasher before we go to bed.  Starting the day with a sink ful of dishes makes me feel like I'm already behind.  SO would leave dishes for the morning but now does them each night.

During the day everyone puts their own breakfast/lunch dishes away so I have a clean sink to cook dinner.

I'm a neat cook and clean as I go so there isn't much left for SO to put away after.

Bratty was a PITA about putting dishes away but eventually learned to  comply.

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Thu, 04/14/2022 - 11:03pm

My big splurge as its not cheap to buy. I would have lost my shit if any skid used it and trashed it.

my late mum gifted a brand new cookware set when i moved overseas. We were staying at a friends resort a few days, i come back and that pan was caked in soot. My adult ss had a constant habit turning stove on with oil in pan and leave it for 20-30mins. Did same thing with my steam iron tha it would auto shut off after 30mins only for ss to come out and turn it on again. 
 

it was such an inconvenience to wait a few mins. I got back from friends resort and saw that damaged frypan and lost it with my husband that his son had destroyed my personal belongings 

my husbands response was "its ok i'll buy another". I lost it with him that he didn't see the issue is ss doesn't respect other peoples belongings

when i was pregnant, my husbands sil was helpin cleaning apartment while i was in our new home sick with daily vomiting. Oh did she report to hubbys sisters what ss had done in that apartment destroying frying pans etc. she just says to me i feel for you and what you've had to put up with. 
ss had a green mouldy toaster that spread mould to our kitchen cupboards. I threw it in the bin. 
 

5 months later ss is openin closin cabinets 5-6 times then asks dad for his toaster. Hubby asks me because kitchen was my domain. Told him it got thrown in the bin months ago due to all the mould and i wasn't going to allow that to remain in my kitchen

any mess ss did, hubby got a pic whilst at work with the mess and told to deal with it. I figured if he weren't gonna man up and confront ss being such a lazy shit, 1 day he would come home from work and lose it. Took 1.5 yrs for that day and the look on ss face. 
 

ss told his dad that it was my job to clean up his mess since i'm a stay at home housewife with a newborn. Trust me hubby did not accept that when ss lazy arse mum did nothing at home as a stay at home housewife but max out credit cards with shopping. He made it very clear ss cleans up after himself and its not our job to clean for him because he's lazy and inconsiderate