Miserable lately with SD dictating everything!
I just came across this site and am very thankful, cause Im ready to pack my bags. I have a SD9, have been with her dad since she was 3. She lives with both BM and us. Her BM recently moved in with man shes only known 2 mos. So SD has been spending more time with us. SD seems to be jealous, when dad and i are hugging, she immediately comes between us and states "my daddy you cant have him". she always been close with me since she was 3, but lately its like playing ping pong. shes getting sneaky and talking with H behind my back, and making plans, or trying to change plans we already have made. When not with us, she will call at last minute and state she wants to come over, and H will change our plans to make sure we do what SD wants. If i try and talk with her alone about how shes acting, she will turn on the tears to make sure her dad sees, and then im the bad guy. I have a BD22, her BF is deceased, and she lives on her own and is engaged to be married. I feel like i have all this responsibility, but have no say anymore with SD.
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Before you end it with DH,
Before you end it with DH, you need to research disengaging. It has saved my relationship. I do not get very involved in their lives anymore. I don't tolerate disrespect, but I also don't do anything for them anymore. I had no say how they were being raised, so I don't want to help raise them. My DH has to handle everything. It sounds like you raised your kid and you did fine with her, you do not have to raise another. There are two Bio's that are capable of over-indulging this kid. Sounds like they are well on their way to a PIA teenager.
Do the research and start disengaging. It may help. Give it a few months and see how it goes before you walk out of the relationship.
yes i like the idea of
yes i like the idea of disengaging, in fact Ive been mulling it over in my head. I feel bad that i have that feeling that yes ive already raised a child, and done a wonderful job at it, by myself, and I dont want to be a mother to someone else's child especially when they are still in the picture. Its hard to say NO at times, cause i always get this guilt feeling coming over me. Im just so tired of trying to fix the issues with SD and her mom, and never getting anywhere with it in the end. Almost to the point, that anymore Im the bad guy always. I feel that H is constantly over protecting SD and letting SD get away with alot cause of whatever issues go on at BM home.
I have a BD20 whose BF passed
I have a BD20 whose BF passed away as well and am leaving DH within the next two weeks. I am through with ALL of them.
It sounds to me honestly like he is putting the SD WAY before you and I would be wondering to myself also, " Do I count here anymore? Why am I even married to this man."
Do what you must do with zero regrets and good luck.
Butterfly.....do I count here
Butterfly.....do I count here anymore? That is a really good question. Thanks...you gave something to really think about.
Sounds like me - I have a
Sounds like me - I have a SD14 - lives with us FT; 3 of our own. I have been with DH since SD was 2. I let SD call the shots (even when I did try DH told me to basically shut the Hell up - along with the rest of the fam) I let it go - I am a good mom and I focused on my three.
About seven months ago she moved in with us FT - I became unhappy, loud, sad, moody, mean to MY kids, and just plain hated life. I told DH I was leaving him with our three kids because I was sick and tired of his daughter's (and his) Sh**
I told him everything - I mean what did I have to loose right!!
I told him how I hated how she interupted us; how she only addressed "daddy" when talking; how she walked right by me like I was a piece of trash; so on and so on.......He listened - took a step back and said he was sorry for never seeing all that and how awful he felt for NOT seeing it ealier.
I then spelled it out for SD - I told her the buck stops here; this is the end of the line; I pointed out what she was doing (I can see right through her baby games) and I told her I aloud her to walk all over me for WAY toooooooo long and I have had it; it's my house and my way or you can rot in your room.
It took me 13 years to do this; I feel like a person!!!!
Good luck - I feel your pain
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