So my boyfriend and I have been living together for one year now. He has two daughters..one is 11 the other 13. The 13 year old is the one that is breaking my heart. We have the girls every other weekend and two evenings during the week. Some days she is fine, talkative and friendly. Other days she'll cry and throw fits, has even refused to come since I'm here. She has been destructive dumping my shampoo down the drain, putting wet towels under the covers on my side of the bed and flat out told her dad she wishes I would just go away. I've never raised my voice to her, bossed her around or given her chores to do. Yet to view her behavior towards me you'd think I was the worlds biggest abuser! I have spent years around children and helped out at the school etc and NEVER EVER have I had a child not like me. She resents the fact that I'm with her dad and is one of the biggest manipulators I've ever come across. My bf has had numerous talks with her explaining to her that she needs to be respectful to me, that I make him happy and that we are happy and that even if I weren't in the picture him and her mother would NOT be getting back together. I have read books, attended classes and although I understand this is partly her being 13, partly the fact that she feels if she's kind to me that she's being dis-loyal to her mother, partly that she just wants her family put back together...but a year down the road and we're STILL at this point is frustrating to say the least! It's reached a point where trying to 'be the adult' is becoming difficult and there are days I just don't want to tolerate her bratty attitude and wish I could just tell her what I think. I've had several talks with her explaining that I'm NOT trying to be her mother, I don't ever intend to be, that she has a mother and doesn't need another one and that I'm here to be her friend. There are times where she's confessed she doesn't know why she's mean to me...that she doesn't want me to leave or break up with her dad, that she even loves me...but lately it's been so bad...and with the holidays coming I just want peace and happiness rather than all the tension and drama!!!!!! I can know all I know, but that doesn't help me get through the day to day crap!!! Any advice out there?!?!?!?!?