WAS THAT AN "ATTA BOY?"
The almost week long silence between DH and I is finally over. Went to his free legal services lawyer last week to do our wills. I was surprised that when I got there the wills were already made out and ready to sign. As I look it over I immediately find a number of mistakes or things that I felt we needed to go home and discuss first. He claimed he had read it and was ready to sign. He was not aware of the mistakes until I started to point them out. We did get a paper notorized that I agreed to sign off on marital rights to some stock he had before our marriage and leave his DD's as benificiaries. I was telling the lawyer as I was signing it that I had suggested this and even helped to pay back loans he had taken out on it. After I signed he announced that I had just given up 100% ownership. Never knew I had ownership, never cared,always felt he should give it to them. I looked at the lawyer and asked. she agreed that is what just happened. Now that we are finally talking again, I asked him why he made the remark in front of everyone. The answer comes down to this. He felt embarressed because the I made the lawyer and him uncomfortable by the way I acted with refusing to sign the will. So it was his intention to appear to be one up on me since I never read the print just above the signature line . As I said did not matter. I was the one who told him to give this to them. DOES HE KNOW WHAT A FOOL HE LOOKS LIKE IN HIS ATTEMPT TO DO THIS? DID THE LADY LAWYER, WHO DID NOT KNOW US REALLY THINK "ATTA BOY" OR "WHAT AN ASS" Then it reminded me of all the times he has done the same stupid things thru out life to get back at someone because he felt embarressed or humiliated. It reminded me of his story about how his last wife was waiting up for him late at night. He was returning to the home with his 3 very rebellious, wild teen daughters because the ex refused to keep them anymore. They were getting violent with the ex. The wife was not happy to see them moving in and expressed it. This humiliated and embarressed him in front of his children. His solution; He moved out of the bedroom and slept on a mattress on the floor from that night on. When I heard that story all I could think is how glad she must have been. He sounds like a train coming thru the house with his snoring,gets up every few hours to hit the bathroom. She could finally get a good nights sleep. He showed her!!!!
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I just have to ask why be
I just have to ask why be with this guy - I will try to read if you have any other blogs but he just seems like such an asshole - since you agreed to give up the assets why would he say something like that in front of the lawyer I swear if my DH had done that I would have turned to the lawyer and asked her if she also did divorces because I want one!!!
This blog has more to do with
This blog has more to do with the combination of feelings and difference in reaction to the way each of us perceives what is happening. My DH has many good qualities as we all do and many that at times irk me to no end. Iam sure he feels the same of me. When he called to make the appointment he was asked a few questions. When we got there the will was already typed and ready to sign. We come from very different backgrounds,have very different personalities,and our reactions are very different. At 60 yrs. old so much of what makes each of us unique remains the same through out our lives. He reacts much more impulsively to everything. He reacts based on his feelings often striking out in some way before thinking. Iam a planner, I think about the pros and cons of everything, I have plan A,B, and C ready to put in place if needed. HE LIVES IN THE MOMENT. He will make commitments to his DD's and other people impulsively because it feels good to "SAVE THE DAY" and get that 15 second pat on the back. He has difficulty saying no. I raised my children alone[widowed} so I learned to say no early on and think about long term outcomes. His reaction at the lawyer's was in the moment. He was not feeling good ,felt he was pointed out as not having done a good job at this task of protecting our future. Feeling embarressed and humiliated in front of someone else he impulsivly was ready to stike out at the one he felt was responsible---me. Really I see this same situation as the underlying problem in many of the problems mentioned on this web site. Impulsive reactions to strike out because the ego feels threatened. OLD DART, maybe you can add your thoughts to this male thing of prefering fight first rather then flight. RAGS-any comments appreciated from a man's view.