Done

Dh took ss to his parents house Friday night to set the record straight. Dh's stepdad welcomed them in and they sat down to talk. Dh tried to bring each point up and discuss it but dh's dad would turn it around and blame dh for not being there for ss. Dh was telling me what happened and he said when he got frustrated, Tony, said, "There now you know how it feels to have no control and people telling you how you should feel. Are you taking your son on his scout camping trip or are you going to continue to be a bad father?". Dh got up and told ss to come on they were leaving and ss refused to leave and said he was going hiking with pawpaw. Dh had to physically remove ss from his dads house and put him in the car. When they got home dh came in steaming and ss came in and went straight to his room. DH tried to talk to him but ss refused to acknowledge him and just stared at the wall and he wouldn't come out of his room for dinner so he didn't eat.

Saturday morning we got up and dressed for my family get together and dh told ss if he didn't get dressed he would go in what he had on. Ss called his bluff and when it was time to go ss had on just his underwear. Dh told him to get dressed and ss ignored him. Dh told him fine and to go get in the car, ss ignored him. He put ss in the car in his underwear and I went inside and got clothes for him thinking he would be embarrassed and I would be but then I realized I wasn't going to do this. I went outside and told ss to get out of my car and go to his room. I told dh I was taking my girls to my family get together and he could stay or go but he needed to decide because I was leaving. Dh came with us but before we left dh went and took ss phone so he couldn't call his pawpaw. We have a house phone and our numbers are written by the phone if ss had an emergency and ss doesn't know any numbers by memory except his moms and dhs. I told dh on the way he needed to get his kid some counseling or something because I wasn't going to live like this. I like my life drama free and want to raise my girls as drama free as possible. Dh was moody and silent the whole time and I was on edge. I told my mom and sisters what was going on and the day was just blah. It sucked to be honest. My girls had fun but dh and I were exhausted and moody.

We get home and ss has destroyed my house. Furniture was turned over, lamps broken, books thrown everywhere, some of our tv's were smashed in with the 2 big ones gone. Holes in my walls. My girls rooms were turned out. Mattresses off beds, sheets torn off and cut, school books with pages torn out, it was really bad. Our bedroom had the worst of it. Bitch, cunt and whore written in mustard. Penises and smiley faces drawn on the walls. It looked like he took mustard and ketchup and smeared it everywhere, all over the ceiling it was sprayed. There was shaving cream all over the bathroom and carpets. Our gun safe was turned over and it looked like someone tried to pry it open. It has scratch marks all over the key area and like someone tried to wedge something in it to open it. Ss's room was tossed but no real damage there SURPRISE! All of our bikes are gone, it was insane. Ss was no where to be seen. Dh was freaking out and I sent my girls to the neighbors house and I called my mom to come get them and then I called the police. Dh called bm and yep, ss was there and they both had no idea what happened. Bm refused to let dh speak to ss and instead went off on him for leaving poor ss home alone when she has first right of refusal and thank GOD she went and got him as he could have been home when the intruders broke in.

Police came and it looks like they had a key or the door was unlocked, interesting right? I told them I think ss and possibly bm broke in but the officer cut me off and said that there have been some break in in the neighborhood and that we should look into forming a neighborhood watch. That was all dh needed to hear to seize on the fact that little precious could be innocent. Now he refuses to consider this might have been ss and ss/bm and he apologized to ss for leaving him alone and he is oh so glad ss was smart enough to call his mom. He is laying it on thick. SS was to afraid of the burglars to come home so dh, me and my girls got to clean everything up ourselves. My bedroom has to be repainted and I am waiting on an insurance adjuster to come look at the damage. Dh was so upset that ss could have been hurt that he had to drive to bms to hug ss.

So that was my weekend.

Goblin's blog
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ok so let me get this

ok so let me get this straight, you guys left SS alone at your house while you guys went to your family get together?

Yes

I wouldn't have left SS alone

I wouldn't have left SS alone in the first place knowing that he could destroy your house or even let BM inside while you and your DH were gone. It seems SS needs to get his little butt into some counseling because everything is just going downhill for you guys. I am truly sorry that you are going through this.

We didn't know ss would do

We didn't know ss would do something like this otherwise he would have never been left alone.

I'm sorry for you Goblin, but

:jawdrop: I'm sorry for you Goblin, but I think it's time for DH to move out....

also next time SS pulls this stunt = DH will remain home with SS and not join you.

Our guns are locked in a gun

Our guns are locked in a gun case and the keys are in a finger print gun safe that only dh and I can open. They are very well secured. I am tempted to make dh and ss leave. I will have to see what happens with this and how ss is.

It's our house.

Oh my goodness... Please

Oh my goodness... Please tell me they are going to investigate this. This wasn't just a break in. Writing words like "bitch" and "slut" in your room is personal. Burglars wouldn't waste time writing things on walls. They just want to get in and get out. This was someone that knows you. And I wonder who that could be....

They said they were but they

They said they were but they just took a report and left. I know who it was I just need to prove it.

I've already bought outside

I've already bought outside cameras from best buy this morning. I bought 8 so that 3 can go inside. 1 for the kitchen, 1 for the living room and 1 for the hallway to the bedrooms.

I didn't think to check phone

I didn't think to check phone records but I did talk to the neighbors and one saw bms car when she got home but she didn't know if it was running or when it left.

And was the car there long

And was the car there long enough to load two large tvs and all the bikes? Surely if a neighbor saw a car sitting there they saw things loaded? I doubt tvs and bikes fit in one vehicle unless lady is driving a truck.

I'm also having troubles picturing the gun vault. It's either small and cheap or this is one very weight lifting little dude.

The three grown men that

The three grown men that robbed us got the gun safe outside somehow but were unable to overcome the laws of geometry and physics and were unable to load it into a Chevy impala trunk. They tried in vain to get into it... power tools, hammers, only ended up scratched.

No way a 10 yo and his mom could have moved our safe!

If this is one of the small handgun safes by the bed, I'm surprised they just wouldn't have taken it to break into it at their leisure.

Did they not do fingerprint

Did they not do fingerprint tests? The gun safe would be the bets place to start.
If they didn't do fingerprint test then your story is a bit off. They fingerprint for car break in so they would for sure for B&E.

If DH refused to hold ss

If DH refused to hold ss accountable you need to move out. This was not a break in and you both know it. If he's willing to cause that amount of damage I would put it past him to physically harm someone. Get out and get out quick. There is no use being with someone who would allow this to happen and by not doing anything he is.

The large tvs were taken the

The large tvs were taken the small older ones in my dds room were just smashed in. I already took out his necklaces he loves. I'm waiting to see what happens and what he will say.

They don't have the resources

They don't have the resources for that, is what I was told. I am thinking I might get ss alone and tell him they found his finger prints. That is a great idea.

I would sell everything of

I would sell everything of SS's left to pay for some of the damages.

The Police Department doesn't

The Police Department doesn't have the resources to do fingerprints?? And your insurance is buying that they don't have the resources?

I'd process the fingerprints myself then.

TBH, this is complete BS. Of

TBH, this is complete BS. Of COURSE they will dust for prints. They say there have been breakins so why on earth wouldn't they? They dusted for prints when an ex neighbor broke into our home with his cousins. They need that kind of proof for court.

Now, if the police believe it was the boy.. that may mean they don't want to do fingerprints to sort out a family dispute.

They said they don't dust for

They said they don't dust for prints in cases like this where the damage/amount doesn't meet a certain threshold but I can't remember what the threshold is.

Several large TV's missing?

Several large TV's missing? Items smashed and defaced? It Seems it would reach a threshold of damages.

My room needs repainted but

My room needs repainted but even then i guess it wasn't enough.

They didn't finger print and

They didn't finger print and i am repeating what they told me.

I wish they would have said

I wish they would have said it in front of dh then! I know it was him and bm but I am the only one saying it.

The only part of this story I

The only part of this story I believe, is that the cops didn't take fingerprints.

My house was broken into, robbed & vandalized almost 15 years ago. They wouldn't take prints. Some crap about activity & pourous surfaces. I was too freaked out to listen closely.

I flipped and they did end up, at least, taking pictues of the very clear boot print from the door being kicked in.

There definitely had been a series of break ins in the area. The TEENS were eventually caught but not charged with much. Evidence blah blah.

FF to 2014. My mom was robbed. She was given the same song about fingerprints.

I did not turn mine into insurance. About $4800 loss and a couple doors damage. I was worried about rates vs replacement. She did. Her rates doubled & she got jack for replacement.

Like I said, the only part of this I buy is that the cops didn't take prints.

Our break in was maybe 6

Our break in was maybe 6 years ago and they did take prints. but it was on a gun safe so a hard surface. We were going to file with the insurance company but lo and behold, someone had screwed up our policy and removed "contents" from our plan. I had a binder from several years prior that DID include it, so it must have gotten dropped and I just missed it when paying our premiums. Sucked.

Ah the joys of the insurance

Ah the joys of the insurance companies lol I chose not to file a claim. My mom did & wishes she hadn't.

What's right? I don't know.

I just find the only part of this saga believable is that prints weren't taken.

Dup

2 big screen tvs and several

2 big screen tvs and several bikes had to be over that threshold. Every state is different, but once the value of a single item or the values of all stolen items together reach a certain amount it is considered a felony.

Did they take the serial numbers of the tvs and bikes so they could be entered in the state crime information system?

I don't see dh's dad doing

I don't see dh's dad doing anything like that. I think ss destroyed my house and bm helped him.

I can't believe that a 10 yo

I can't believe that a 10 yo was left home alone... especially one that is not particularly mature (doesn't make him a bad person..just not ready).

It really doesn't appear that your DH is doing a very good job at parenting. First, he refuses to deal with the REALITY that his son feels marginalized in your home. Marching him over to SGF to set things straight was NOT the way to approach this without getting things straight with his son first.

Of course, he was again made to look like he wasn't making his son a priority. And by priority, I mean that he matters period.. not that he will always be "first".

His SGF even made a point to tell him that "now you know how it feels when people tell you how you should feel and that you have no control". It is apparent to people on the outside that the child IS getting shortchanged. The boy has a right to his feelings. His father should be making it a point to ensure his son feels loved and secure in his family.

If the boy DID trash the house, you are seeing the mother of all tantrums coming out because he hasn't been able to get his dad to HEAR him.

Your DH needs to go to counseling with this child.

I was babysitting other kids

I was babysitting other kids when I was 10. Sometimes until 2 in the morning. But I get what you're saying about some kids just not being mature enough at 10.

I think my parents might have

I think my parents might have left my brother and I for a short time while they ran an errand, but it sounds like this was a daylong outing. And, yeah... this kid doesn't seem very mature or capable of caring for himself.

(No subject)

:jawdrop:

This is true, When we were

This is true,

When we were robbed, I was really dreading going into the house. The gunsafe was in the middle of our driveway in front of the house and the police told me to not go in.

Well, with the exception that stuff was a bit rifled through, things that they left weren't intentionally defaced or destroyed. Now my dog was a bit traumatized, but they probably yelled at her to shut up.

Ten is old enough and bm

Ten is old enough and bm leaves him alone all the time so I didn't feel bad leaving him when he was being bad. It won't happen again though.

My BM let's my SS swear, pull

My BM let's my SS swear, pull zap signs and be a pig. Does that mean my husband and I should too? That is a very immature stance you are taking.

Until now we haven't had much

Until now we haven't had much of an issue and ss has been fine staying alone. He won't be allowed to now.

Obviously ten years old is

Obviously ten years old is not old enough to be at home alone in your case. I smell crap from this story and in a way it almost serves you right for not telling DH to stay at home and parent his child.

DH and I don't even leave the

DH and I don't even leave the OSS home alone and he is 12 years old. They are way too immature and fight with each other like they did last night. Some kids can be left alone if they are mature enough and stay out of trouble and some kids can't like my skids and this kid holy crap!!

Dh had a choice and he

Dh had a choice and he decided to go. I, personally would have seen it as rewarding ss by dh staying home but that is just me.

Believe me, if one of my

Believe me, if one of my parents had to stay home with me because I was being punished, there is NO WAY it would have been seen as a reward...lol.

My time would have started with a nice banishment to my room to "think". For us this meant we had to get into our pajamas and actually get in bed. No books, no toys.. sensory deprivation.

My parent would have used that time to calm down from strangle the little bugger level to a point where they could deliver the "I'm so disappointed in you and this is what you did wrong and THIS is how you are going to fix it and here is your punishment"

Then, it would be some menial task or writing the essay describing what a horrible child I was and how I had learned my lesson.

(oh.. anyone miss the point where I got lunch.. nope.. no lunch).

Then it was back to my room for more silent reflection.

Then I might be allowed a small dinner sandwich.. and bed early.

Yeah.. a barrel of laughs.

No, it is not a REWARD for a

No, it is not a REWARD for a man to stay home with his child instead of going to another family's get together.

Why doesn't your DH just give up his rights since he can't do things with or for the boy? Men live for the times their boys are old enough to do 'men' stuff together.

By admitting that you think

By admitting that you think Dad staying home would be a reward for his son, proves that Dad spending time with his son is somehow special and a reward for the kid doing something right. It implies that Dad spending time with his son is out of the ordinary and is contingent on his son's behavior.

Dad should have stayed home and punished his kid in someway for his behavior. He should have spent the whole time you were gone with his kid.

oss was fine left alone at

oss was fine left alone at the age of 10. kaos is not allowed to be home alone and he's 13 1/2. it really does depend on their maturity.

i'm truly amazed at how this escalated. this kid had some seriously pent-up $#!t inside.

Were the words spelled

Were the words spelled correctly? At 10, I would have had no idea how to spell whore.

My thinking was that a 10

My thinking was that a 10 year old throwing a tantrum probably wouldn't be worried about spelling. The reason I ask was because I think he had a little help from his mom.
But I do agree that the internet has taught kids things that I probably didn't know until I was an adult.

He thinks someone broke in

He thinks someone broke in and we are extremely lucky that ss had gone to his moms. I think deep down he knows the truth but he won't admit to himself his kid is crazy.

And this, my friends, is why

And this, my friends, is why terrible skids are the direct result of terrible parenting.

Your DH needed to talk to SS to validate his son's feelings and work through them with him before trying to explain it to anyone else. I'd be looking for another job. Instead, he wants to parade SS in front of his stepdad who is ALREADY on SS's side to try and make HIMSELF, look good. He has no desire to actually solve this issue with SS. ANY TIME a kid misbehaves, after 20 minutes of cooling down, I don't care HOW old, deserves to have their feelings at least HEARD, and then the parents work through it with them rationally. Stepdad is RIGHT, he feels like he has absolutely no control.

JC on a cracker, he needs some damned parenting lessons and therapy with his kid.

Yeah, I'd say this situation is too far gone at this point that I'd just cut my losses and leave. Your DH doesn't know how to parent, BM, SS, and Stepdad have now learned manipulation, destruction, and with-holding are perfectly good ways to get what they want. There is NO WAY to break that habit unless SS can look past his anger and still remember he loves his dad--which I assure you, your DH has done a banged up job of ensuring would not happen because he can't put his pride away and stop using ONLY punishments to try and modify SS's behavior.

Edited to add: Get the guns out of the house. DH and I have pistols in our safe as well but if ANYONE in our family attempted to open them, they'd be gone. Period. Until we can absolutely make certain no one can find and get to them. Fingerprint is not enough.

I don't remember reading

I don't remember reading instances of dad not parenting SS. Would you mind giving a few quick examples?

Parenting is more than just

Parenting is more than just punishments. If you only punish without resolving by communicating the underlying issues, it creates resentment, anger, and using other means to get what they want instead of accepting responsibility for what they did wrong. FEW if ANY people will sit there and just take it if they feel the person doling out the punishment is not empathetic to them.

Kid gave his perspective of what is occurring at the dad's house (skewed, obviously), and the end result was that they wanted to take away karate, kid still telling stepgrandad about his perspective, they want to take away hiking, kid doesn't put on clothes, he doesn't go to the celebration, now the kid won't fess up to destroying the house, take away visiting, etc. See a theme? It's ONLY punishment. Where is the resolution and working through SS's feelings? Dad cares so much more about how he looks in front of people, including his own stepdad, than he does that his kid grows up with good coping skills.

He is trying to "parent" but doing a terrible job of it. He, just like SS is reactive to the things SS does. If you always wait UNTIL the kid does something wrong in reaction to a previous punishment to apologize or back off, what happens is that the kid decides he just has to keep upping the ante in order to get what he wants.

Thanks. I see what you're

Thanks. I see what you're getting at.

Did you see the post about

Did you see the post about the boy scouts and SS was the only 1 without the correct shirt. Dad wouldn't buy him one bc he already paid his CS and BM had a transmission go out and hot water tank so she couldn't afford to buy the shirt at that time.

We deal with a BM just like

We deal with a BM just like that. Only thing is, we do 100% and don't tell skids 'no you can't go on the big band trip to Disney World bc your POS Mom never helps with costs.'

So you can rant all day, the FATHER needs to spend more time with his own damn kid and stop being his skids New Daddy.

if your best friend told you

if your best friend told you all this, what would you say to her? after that, what do you want for your children? to live like this? me, i'd be tossing them out. no way i would put my kids or myself through this crap. your children need to be your first priority, not your dh in this case, he's made it clear who comes first on his list.

I'd tell my best friend to

I'd tell my best friend to tell her dh not to bring the brat over anymore but I don't know how dh would react to that. I won't live this way and I just need to figure out what to do. My children need to come first to me and I know to dh his son comes first as it should be. I called my pastors wife to see if she can sit down with me and give me any guidance.

I'm not going to argue that.

I'm not going to argue that. Some people don't see why he would but those same people don't have to go to his families get togethers. I enjoy having my husband with me and being apart of my family.

Yes when he goes on his guys

Yes when he goes on his guys weekends.

Notice he doesn't go on

Notice he doesn't go on Father/Son trips.

don't get why you needed your

don't get why you needed your DH to go to this family thing with you
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Because her DH is a great father to HER kids. Too bad he sucks as a father to his own kid.

SF is the only one who seems even a little smart.

But I am leary of this poster so what do I know. lol

How old is this kid?

This kid has all the control

This kid has all the control he needs to ruin your life and your DH just proved he's going to let it happen. If you can afford to live separately then that's your best bet when it comes to keeping you, your kids and y'all's things safe. If you can't afford to and/or don't want to leave your husband even after all this crap, then I suggest you buy locks for your daughters's rooms so they can keep their stuff safe and feel safe when your skid is there. I think when he's there you need to take your kids and leave for the weekends. Let your DH deal with his kid alone so he can learn how to see his son for who he truly is without the ability to blame anyone else. Those words he put in your room shows he has a lot of issues and blames you for his problems. Your DH was going to bring him in his underwear, you over ruled his parenting and left the kid behind instead so you gave the boy a way out of blaming his dad and put it all on you. While I think bringing him in his underwear would have been equally horrible and ruined your girls' day, leaving him behind costs you. I will say the home destruction is a reaction. He was upset y'all left him behind so perhaps maybe not letting him be around is exactly what he needs. Tell your DH to see him outside the home. Take him to a hotel for the night or go stay with your DH's parents. Even if everyone is saying it was a burglary, there is doubt there and I'm sure your SS will brag about getting away with it eventually.

If this isn't real could you

If this isn't real could you wake me up? This is crazy and I would never have expected ss to act like this and I really believe bm came over and helped him do this.

I would be investing in some

I would be investing in some cameras after all of this chaos.

You will wake up when you

You will wake up when you stop thinking you are in an episode of the Brady Bunch and blending isn't always the best thing for all parties involved.

Sometimes adults need to do separate things when you have skids in the mix. When you realize that, then you will have a more peaceful life.

I don't think I could live

I don't think I could live with the SS again after he completely ruined my home.

You will probably need to separate from your DH until the SS is aged out.

If there is an absence of

If there is an absence of "other" fingerprints there, it proves he is a likely culprit. Also, the placement of fingerprints.. like on items that he would have had no reason to touch.. like the gun safe would be damning.

Yes, fingerprints off the

Yes, fingerprints off the hard surface of the gun safe.
I'd remove everything out of that little shi*s room and tell him it all got destroyed AND I'd make sure he over heard me on the phone telling my friend how they are going to get to the bottom of this with the fingerprints and that the neighbor wrote down a license plate. I'd at least make him squirm.

I agree. DH is retired LEO,

I agree. DH is retired LEO, my dad is retired LEO, my FIL is retired LEO.. whole freaking family full of cops, so I've heard the stories all my life. No way they wouldn't have dusted for finger and or foot prints ESPECIALLY if there have already been burglaries in the area! They would most definitely take pictures, and dust for fingerprints to have comparison should break ins be related for prosecution purposes. No freaking way did they just take notes and leave.

This whole situation...wow.

This whole situation...wow. Let me get this straight: your SS has been acting out, saying that he doesn't feel like he is part of the situation. He feels marginalized in your home and that his grandfather is the only one who acts like he cares. So your DH's solution was to parade him over to grandpa's house and try to drive a wedge between them or prove that they are wrong. And when that didn't work out, he brought SS home to your house where it was apparent that SS was really upset. And the solution was to leave him home alone while his FATHER, you and your kids went to a family get together. So essentially, you just proved his point and made him feel even more like an outsider. His father chose to go out with you and your kids, leaving his real child behind...knowing that he was upset. Look at this from a child's point of view: He already felt disregarded and then his dad decides to skip off an play happy family with two kids that aren't his own. This kid probably feels very replaced and discarded. And its not exactly hard to see why.

I don't justify the damage he did to your house and I am sure it probably was him. He needs to be held accountable for that, but first your DH needs to stop alienating his son. I don't understand why your DH keeps punishing his son and further hurting him when this kid has made it clear that he is feeling marginalized and unimportant.

I agree that maybe you should step away from this situation. Your DH needs to attend counseling with his son and try to fix this broken relationship.

Exactly what I was getting

Exactly what I was getting at. Holy moly, can people REALLY be just this focused on punishing? A punishment or consequence is NOT FOR THE PARENTS TO FEEL GOOD about themselves like a revenge, each and EVERY consequence a child gets should be focused on helping the child understand that what they did wasn't right and to help them build morality. No one builds morality with simple punishments. You build it by working through what happened and understanding how it made others feel--most of the time kids, until they can go through that process themselves, need to be guided by adults.

I see where her DH gets it from if stepdad uses only punishment/with-holding tactics in order to get what he wants. Stop the cycle or he's going to have a maladjusted adult with shit coping skills.

It wasn't that he woke up and

It wasn't that he woke up and dh was gone with us. He was given many opportunities to put his clothes on.

He was upset and acting out.

He was upset and acting out. He needs counseling..badly. I understand your anger about your house. I'd be fuming. But I think you and DH made some bad decisions along the way. Your SS forced your DH's hand. He put your DH in a position to make a choice and your DH chose you and your girls. It may not seem rational to you or me, but this is a child. They see things very black and white sometimes.

Also, unless BM has done something like this before, I really don't believe she had anything to do with it. I think SS called her when calmed down and she is covering for him. It sounds like he flew into a rage. That is dangerous and your DH needs to pull his head out of his a##. I think counseling is a must for both father and son.

Leaving the 10 year old at

Leaving the 10 year old at home was a mistake. It doesn't matter if you had plans. It doesn't matter if his mom does it. It doesn't even matter if it's been done before. This kid has shown he is pretty immature for his age and has been crying out for help and has been told his feelings don't matter.

Then he has to miss a great trip.. and he is mad, frustrated, sad, etc...

Dad leaves him. Not a good decision.

A father doing good parenting would have stayed with his son and made him regret his decision to not get dressed as he was told to do.

I'm not talking about a beating, but it would have definitely been a lot of discussion on what I had done wrong and I would have had to put in time to show that I understood that. It would also be made very clear that my parent had to miss something THEY wanted to do because of my bad behavior.

And yeah.. that meant your DH couldn't go with you. Just like my brother's tantrums had my mom have to leave the restaurant with him when he misbehaved etc.. parents sometimes sacrifice for their kids.. even if it means in the mode of corrections and punishments.

This child needs therapy and so does the father. I don't think SGF is too far off in his assessment of this situation. I think the kid really feels unloved and he is acting out as a result. Punishing the kid is only going to make things worse.

I am not saying he shouldn't have consequences for some actions, but telling him you are being punished because you feel we don't love you??? no.

I also disagree with the thought of trying to game him right back by taking things of his like his necklace. Stooping to his level won't solve anything and will likely more clearly define his SM as the evil that must be conquered.

Your dh is convinced this was

Your dh is convinced this was not his boy's doing? Well, then, the brunt of the violence was directed at you. I would wonder why he was worried about ss's safety when obviously it's you who are being stalked. What pervert is watching you with binoculars to know that you live in that room and he's getting all perv rage feelings about you? I would turn to dh as my protector. If he is all squirmy about it and doesn't take you seriously then you know he for sure knows it really was ss. If dh does take you seriously and ss sees this, ss just might get annoyed and blurt out the truth.

Those "burglars" sure took a lot of extra time in a strange house in broad daylight. Pros would know they were leaving dna behind in a myriad of ways the longer they stayed and sticking gingers in mustard and so forth.

No matter how angry or resentful the boy was feeling, it did not justify this response. On any given day 75 million children are feeling angry and resentful about something. This response happens extremely rarely though. Even my wretched hostile sd has never done this.

I do believe it was bm who helped him although I'm curious why she hasn't ramped up to this level before now. DH needs to stop acting like a little boy himself toward his stepdad. Pawpaw is not his keeper anymore and he doesn't have to convince him of anything. He can try to repair their relationship while setting firm boundaries but taking his kid over there to beg for paw paw's approval and having kid witness dad's humiliation by paw paw was a mistake.

I don't know what you do from here. Seems like a catastrophe now.

I'm guessing that missing the

I'm guessing that missing the camping trip on top of everything else just blew the kid's mind. I agree that he probably had an "oh crap" moment when he saw what he had done and called his mom.

But, when kids give you a BIG SIGN, it's probably wise to listen. He needs counseling and it sounds like his dad needs to attend as well. This reaction was over the top.. but over the top is how this kid must be feeling.

I would be concerned that suicide might not be off the table. Young kids have killed themselves before.

^^^Damn straight, every

^^^Damn straight, every word^^^^ (anotherstep)

Welcome to the Jungle.. the

Welcome to the Jungle.. the official anthem of steplife!

I like that one, too. The

I like that one, too. The eating little earth things also captures it super well! (can't bring myself to type the word! I'm that phobic!)

ETA: This was for another again but it works for the jungle song, too!

My son is a very mature 9

My son is a very mature 9 almost 10. I would never have left him home in this circumstance and neither would my ex .

I will say this I hate my ex husband( for good reasons) and think he is a total tool but I would never deal with anything this way and he ( hates me too and has told me he wished I was dead many times... hence my feelngs) and I can honestly say he would never do that to me.

The thing is we both love our kid.

This kid just declared war

This kid just declared war and the adults around him are aiding (BM) and abetting (DH and pawpaw) this little criminal. What will he do the next time he doesn't get what he wants? By the way, he may not have access to your guns, but are you going to lock up all your knives and other potential weapons? I have no idea what you should do, but if he gets away with this now, then juvenile detention is in his future. I hate to think of what he we be like when he hits puberty. I hope this story isn't even true.

Crikey, please do not plant

Crikey, please do not plant ideas...

Did the police not

Did the police not fingerprint?? Our house was broken into when I was a Sophmore in high school and they did fingerprint AND footprint tests all over the house. I still remember helping mom clean up all that black dust stuff. Unless BM is a body builder, I find it hard to believe that SS and BM could overturn a gun safe, assuming you are talking about one that looks like this?? https://www.google.com/search?q=gun+safe&safe=strict&rls=com.microsoft:e...

Please pass the corksCREW.

Advice, after the

Advice, after the unexpectedly long, craptastic weekend I had, I should have gotten drunk April 1 and stayed that way!!!

I call BS. I had my car broke

I call BS. I had my car broke in recently, nothing was taken as there was nothing to take. The first thing they did is fingers prints. So police has no resources to take finger prints? Please. This story is fishy to begin with

Yes, Yes we do. In my

Yes, Yes we do. In my vehicles and also have a couple portable ones. I think the walkman style are probably not as popular though.

I know, right? Pfft. All the

I know, right?

Pfft. All the kid had to do was wait until Dad drove off for his second Easter celebration and then call Paw Paw. Kid would have been hiking/camping just as fast as GPa could drive. But, no. Kid decided he'd rather miss the scout trip, trash the house so he'd be in trouble like forever and carry large tv on his back while he peddled on a bike behind BM's car full of the rest.

H*ll, I'm surprised the little demon didn't duct tape SM's maltese pup to her bedroom wall and spray it with ketchup also.

My apartment in college was

My apartment in college was broken into and they never did fingerprints. But I call b.s. on this story.

I find it odd that someone

I find it odd that someone not only broke in but vandalized the home as well. And carted off big items, such as bikes. And the neighbors didn't see or hear anything. That BM and SS hatched this plan and followed through with it. Makes zero sense.

The boy called Dads bluff to

The boy called Dads bluff to try and get him to pay attention to him. Your DH, again, put you and your girls 1st by going to YOUR family thing and not staying with his kid.

My Grandson has been allowed to be alone since he was 10, but never for a day long outing or knowing someone was close to check on him.

Your neighbors didn't see someone loading TVs and bikes into a truck? Tipped a gun safe? Must be a crappy gun safe bc I can't even budge any of them I have been around.

A complete stranger intent on

A complete stranger intent on stealing wouldn't squirt the walls and floors with condiments, especially the words aimed at the females in the house.

I have an SS that would totally do all that damage. At 12 he deliberately went thru and tried to break every window in my house and kick holes in the walls and he wasn't home alone.

My SS17 is barely 120 pounds but when his anger is at the limit, he can kick DSOs ass.

I just pictured 10 year old

I just pictured 10 year old carting large tvs out lol
Did he kick a dog downstairs while at it?

Maybe BM had some friends

Maybe BM had some friends help?

Sure party in front yard

Sure party in front yard loading up tvs and bikes. Would have been multiple vehicles , as all those large items and people aren't fitting in one. Maybe they rented one of those party buses :O

I'm taking it that you

I'm taking it that you believe this story is bull?

Exactly where did a 10 year

Exactly where did a 10 year old hide 2 TV's and some bicycles???

ALSO what parent would leave their very upset 10 year old home alone?! I'd be pee'd off too as a BM if my exH left my son home alone to go off jollying while our child was so upset he was sitting in his underwear and not talking. Also the other family members were putting him in the middle of the adult war with the agenda of painting daddy as a monster.

Lots of things going on. Lots of red flags. Lots of anger from a little boy. So the best thing to do would be to...leave him home alone and go have some fun?!?!?!?!?!

Ridiculous, disgusting and shocking.

I really and truly believe a

I really and truly believe a lot of this story could happen, until the part about Tvs and bikes being taken and no neighbors saw a thing. BUT, I live in the country and that could happen at my house and the neighbors wouldn't know. You can see parts of neighbors homes, like back of garage or roof, but for them to look out a window and see someone robbing me wouldn't happen.

I don't believe for one

I don't believe for one minute that a parent would leave a 10 year old home alone for hours while he was out having fun with his wife and step kids.

This is one of those

This is one of those cautionary tales about what happens if..

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