mmmmmm when i first moved in and it wasn't until about a month ago i was big time.. but its actually the kids who have calmed down so much and dont see me as a threat, who is going to take there dad away from them.. and they let us have time and even a cheeky kiss and cuddle and instead of running up for attention they just roll there eyes and giggle..

but i do remember the days of rage being so jealous he would just jump for anything n everything they wanted.. and me sitting on the end of the couch and feeling so jealous of the happy family and i feel like the outsider in my own home..

there are some happy stories on here, but i think for me a big part is the kids understanding that everyone needs a bit of time with dad and not just them... well that is how our family worked it out.

Good luck to you. Jealousy is common because we are on the outside so to speak. I have always been on the outside with DH and SD8. She says jump and he says how high and just what fashion. She gets all the hugs and kisses and I get nothing. Anyway, our marriage ended yesterday and he went to his mothers to live for now. I am in the process of moving my son and self out of the home. Good luck to you. Being a step is the hardest job ever cause you never really know just where you fit in.

Weirdly enough I have almost no jealousy as far as my husband’s ex is concerned… sometimes I feel bad that DH isn’t living the life he was used to with her (she had TON of money… huge house, new cars, vacations, the BEST health benefits under the sun) but he really isn’t a materialistic kinda guy… he’s been searching for one thing and one thing only his entire life and that was TRUE LOVE! And I believe him when he tells me that I am the first and only person whom he has ever felt that towards. So how can there be much jealousy…?

DH on the other hand… he has a TON of insecurities and demons he’s still working on, kind of a left over aftereffect of living with a mentally abusive and crippling harpy… and he gets VERY jealous of any happy memory I may have concerning any man that was in my past. We had a HUGE blowup this weekend about just that… but he’s really working on it. And I know part of the responsibility lies with my constant affirmations and honesty. Jealousy is an ugly slimy monster… it just oozes in and poisons. Takes a real conscious effort to keep that one at bay.

I wouldn't say I experience that as much as I do frustration and anger. I'm resentful of the fact that I work hard to be a good partner and the best spouse I can be and I'm constantly under the microscope. Yet, Dh's daughter can be a little tyrant brat monster and can do no wrong. It just gets old.

Ok... in an all out effort to be completely truthful. Yes, I get jealous. Maybe its just me but when I get an email supposedly from BM's fiance that DH is calling her while he is at work and calling her baby on the phone. When I show DH the email, he admits to calling her from work so as not to make her mad because the kids didnt call her the night before. Yea right, and then I hear the voice mail she left him calling him a chicken SH*t for calling him at work, was he afraid I would whip his arse?

I just do not know I can trust him 100% with her. She left him for another man and when they first split up, they were still having SEX. When my X and I split up, I made the conscious decision that if we could still have sex, we could still be together and since we were not together, no sex. He has told me before how they had sex all the time, even if they were mad with each other. I cant help it she was a nympho that screwed everything under the sun, including his best friends and family members while they were together. He wasnt perfect either as she caught him having an affair at work and fooling around with his sister. I do love sex, but I am so overwhelmed with everything that goes on and that has gone on, I do not care if I have it or not. I also am not the type of person that can make love to someone when they have hurt my feelings right away. It wasn't always this way between DH and I, but after catching him having two online affairs and such, I just cannot bring myself to 100% completely trust he will not cheat on me with BM given the chance. Yes, he says she turns him off and such, but I try my best not to give him the chance. I guess I am a pitiful wreck but thats my honest attempt to explain why I am jealous even though I really try not to be.