My SS11 only comes to our house every other weekend, and even though it's not that often I often dread it because me and him just have not bonded. He has basically been raised as an only child and is basically the golden child of my DH family (my inlaws). Anytime we are at my inlaws he acts completely different with me as if telling me, "I am the boss here", and his attitude and demeanor are completely different. When we are at my house he is different as in he knows to watch his step, but as soon as I step outside his behavior per both of my biological kids is awful and frankly I feel that my BS05 is picking up on it. My DH was making him eat something (I wasn't home)and he didn't want to, so my DH said you will not get up from that table until you finish all of your dinner. He put his fist up at my husband and yelled at my husband that he would punch him if he made him eat the food. My husband tells me nothing (he never really says anything about my SS11). A few days later my BS14 was telling me the incident and I was totally disgusted because my DH didn't say anything. Next thing you know my BS05 is now putting up his fist and yelling at my DH.

I teach my boys that once I say go do something I mean now not later. I expect that respect and in turn I respect them. My DH asks my SS11 to do something and he always ignores him and when DH finally gets on him he starts talking back, rolling his eyes, and yelling what at him, stomping on the floor, etc. This weekend my DH asked my SS11 to do something and he as usual ignored him, acted like my DH was irrelevent. So my DH nudged him with his foot (they were both laying on couch) and he said what bum?!. My BS05 sitting on the floor listening. My DH didn't say anything! I was in shock. I sometimes feel bad I don't get involved but on the otherside my DH does not involve me, and if I do say something to correct him my DH chimes in like if I am just picking on him, but truth be told I dislike rude kids and I am very hard on my boys to be respectful of adults because being respectful is a part of life.

My MIL lover her grandkids in her house she has rooms for her grandkids, 1 room is for her two granddaughters and another room is supposed to be my SS11 and BS05. Except that when my son was born the room was never adjusted like the girls room, so basically it's just my SS11 room, with only one bed. My MIL was saying that my BS05 has never stayed over, which I said, I am sure that is not a problem and if SS11 is around he would stay. So I said jokingly you are going to have to split up the room as you did the girls to accomodate my BS05. When SS11 heard this he was very angry and said no that is never going to happen that is my room and I will not share. My DH and MIL didn't say anything like god forbid they go against his wishes. All along I am thinking I would be hurt if my BS14 said that about my BS05. My BS14 has other half siblings though his father side and he never acts with anything but love towards them, I don't get why my SS11 is like that, and I know people often say oh he is 11 but at what age do you learn love for other, respect, and that the world doesn't revolve around you. Honestly I think it's his personality and that's it.