It has been a while since my last post, and now - it is a whole new world... There is a new baby in this new world, a beautiful little girl. She is three weeks old today. On Friday, her mother (my SD) is packing her up to drive her five hours to "visit" her bf and his parents. They should be back in about a week or so. Wow.

Now how do I feel? It is rather strange. For the last three weeks, I have lived in a house where I am not *really* supposed to be interacting with the new little one. SD really wants to be the Mom, and the newness isn't gone yet. I've picked up the peanut maybe five or six times total. Each time, I have been quickly relieved of her. It is ok, I understand the feelings, but sometimes, it hurts...

For the last week or so I have obviously violated some rule. I have a feeling I know what it is, but the dagger looks, the silence, the clearing of the table while I am still eating gets a little old. I've been daggering back, and that seemed to work yesterday for a while, but still...

The BF made a totally surprise visit the first Saturday that SD and new SGD were back from the hospital. 8:30 at night, a 5 hour drive, he just shows up, with a friend who is a girl, on the door wanting to see his daughter. I think I may have over reacted, but I was livid. He finally had a copy of his GED so he could come inside. (He came up for the birth, but didn't bring it - and wasn't allowed inside the house. Instead he made his new baby girl and his just out of the hospital GF sit outside. The rule had been made, and communicated for over a year - and he said he had it, but wouldn't show it because he didn't have to.) Personally, I think the copy was a fake, but I stuck to my word - he was allowed inside. Finally, at 9:30 pm I kicked them all out. The no sleep over rule is still in effect - and no one told me they were coming - which is another violation. SD had a big long song and dance about how she didn't know they were coming. Yeah. Right.

So - his parents want to see their grand daughter - this I can understand. Why can't they come to visit? Why does the new mom and the three week old have to travel for five hours alone? I don't know. SD told me she was definitely coming back. She told her friend, who later told me, that she was probably going to move down there until baby was five, and then come back so baby could go to a good school... (The area where BF and BF parents live is very depressed). What is going to happen? I don't know... My DH will be devastated if this happens.

SD tells us she is all set up to go back to work in Nov. (That would be up here). She hasn't been the most pleasant person in the universe, but if she can get back to work, save some money, get to school and make a real life for herself and my GSD, then that is what I really want. I just don't know if my DH and I can survive it.

It is good, it is sad. Once again, I believe I have goofed, but I am not sure how. I am REALLY tired...