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Question about phone contact

GameOn's picture

Submitted by GameOn on Wed, 06/05/2013 - 7:00pm

My DH seems to think that the phone contact put in the CO is for when the kids want to contact BM and not when BM wants to conact the kids.

Apparently she sent a text to DH on Friday of last week requesting to speak with the kids. He was busy and spaced it off and the kids never talked to her. (She never sent another text.) DH gets an email from her today stating that she sent the text at so and so time on Friday and never got to speak to the kids.

Usually how it goes when BM talks to the kids (mainly SD Dirol is SD ends up crying for close to an hour about how she misses BM. It interupts DH's parenting time, takes forever to get SD calmed down, and distresses SD. Why BM wants to do this to SD.....I just don't know. It's apparent on the phone calls to BM that SD is getting upset and crying. Why would someone want to do that to their child?

Regardless, I told DH to be very careful how he handles these types of situations with BM until they get the CO revised in regards to things like contact with the children on the other parents time. I think, according to the CO, the contact stated in the CO is not just for the kids to contact BM. It's also so that the non custodial parent can contact the kids when they do not have them when they want to chat with them (within reason of course).

So here's my question. Who's correct about the contact? DH or me? (And btw, it's very vaugly written. It's states something along the lines of unmonitored contact with the kids.)

Comments

step off already's picture

Submitted by step off already on Wed, 06/05/2013 - 7:11pm

In DH's order, it specifies that the NCP may call betwen 7-8 pm on Mon and Wed when the child is not in their care. (SS lives with us but has extended visits with BM in the summer).

It also states that the call may go as long as SS wants.

It also states that the child may call either parent whenever he wants (though that never happens, as neither BM nor DH seem to allow him to call the other parent when he asks and I've noticed he only asks us to call when he is supposed to do hw and he used to always ask at bedtime as a way to extend bedtime). SS also told us that BM gave him a guilt trip when he asked to call DH saying, "you live with him, why do you need to call him right now, you're with me".

tryingmom's picture

Submitted by tryingmom on Thu, 06/06/2013 - 10:23am

UNMONITORED??? Wow....DH's CO doesn't state that so I guess that is why BM only lets the skids talk on speakerphone so she can monitor and redirect the conversation when SS10 (the town crier) starts talking about things BM doesn't want us to know. Right!!! Like the skid doesn't come over and tell us everything that goes on over there anyways.

For your situation I'd have the skids call BM when she asks and BM should allow DH to be able to talk to the skids when he asks. I can't stand that she doesn't understand ramping up SD with the phone call makes your lives miserable with the fall out.