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Need some advice on whether what we can do if we were to take this information to court if BM wants to have a custody battle

GameOn's picture

We have been having issues with my husband’s ex-wife for years now. We have her admitting up to stalking and harassment of my husband, myself, and my daughter documented in email (things such as sitting outside out home at 3 am, showing up at our home while we are gone and have no knowledge of her being there, locking my car doors which cost me $80 for a locksmith, finding her in our home without our knowledge or approval, and constant non child related texting, phone calls, and sending pictures of herself. My husband asked her to stop and she wouldn't), she has harassed my husband’s parents and maliciously tried to cause issues in their marriage by trying to make it look like the kids grandfather, my husband’s father, was having an affair on their grandmother by having one of her friends call and act like his mistress, badmouthing my husband to their kids (stating things such has your dad doesn't love you because he won't take you to the doctor amongst many many other things), texts of her trying to sell my husband food stamps (which I'm pretty sure is illegal), she has harassed my daughter when she was only five years old at school. After she was told to leave my daughter alone she showed up on the playground at her school and approached her asking if she wanted to come over to her house and play (can we say creepy), she has filed false child abuse allegations against my husband which caused a three month investigation by CPS on our household (I forget what she was mad about this time. I'm sure she asked for something unreasonable and my husband said no), she has used my husbands health insurance three years after their divorce (obviously she wasn't authorized to use it anymore), she has removed the kids from my husbands care without his knowledge or approval on his custodial time (she took their son from daycare during his custodial time and when he took the day off early to spend time with him, it was his son's birthday, he showed up at the daycare and his son was missing. He had no knowledge of where his son was or who took them until he spoke with someone at the daycare), she has tried to take holidays from my husband by using threats if he didn't just give it to her, she has threatened my husband with taking the kids from him if he tried to get her to pay for her legally obligated 50% of work related child care expenses per the custody order but has had no issues coming to my husband requesting he pay for half of her work related childcare (apparently it's not fair when she has to pay), called the police on their five year old son while he was on school property because he decided that he didn't want to go to school and then proceeded to just stand there as their son repeatedly assaulted a police officer, spit in the poor man’s face, and ran through a busy school parking lot where he could have been hit by a car, has allowed their son not to go to school because he didn't want to go (again he was five years old), she had numerous incidents where my husband had to leave work early because she couldn't get their son to go to school because she had allowed him not to go to school on several occasions because he didn't want to and he was in the process of throwing a violent temper tantrum while on school property, my husband's son could have been killed when he got into her car where he found the keys in the ignition and proceeded to start the car and drive it into the garage wall last summer (thank god the air bag didn't deploy or he would have been killed and this was after she asked her five year old son to run to the store for her), my husband's son could have lost the use of his right hand after he turned the treadmill on while in her care and proceeded to stick his hand in the machine, she has involved my husband’s daughter in their divorce when she was just five stating things like mommy is really sad right now because mommy and daddy aren't married anymore and if GameOn and daddy fight then mommy and daddy will get married again, and daddy is the reason why we're not a family anymore and that all this was their secret and not to tell anyone (I'm sure you can only imagine how much fun that one was for us), she has had sexually inappropriate conversations with their daughter starting at the age of five without the knowledge or consent of my husband, she drove their daughter down to police station when she was six because their daughter had assaulted her step sister and then proceeded to attack her mother and because she didn't know how to parent the child tried to have the police do it for her, she has introduced the kids to religion without talking to my husband first when per the custody order both parents have equal say in regards to religion with the kids and openly bashed my husband’s beliefs in front of the children, refused to give my husband information about school field trips or school related activities that she signed the kids up for that fell on our weeks so we had no idea when the kids needed to dress appropriately or bring a sack lunch to school (when my husband addressed this via email she refused at first and then stated she might consider providing him this information in the future), she has threatened to withhold the kids medical information unless he complies with her requests, she has refused to let us know when school projects are due on my husband’s weeks but makes it a point to call the school to request an extension on the day that it's due because my husband had no idea that they had any assignments due that day and my husband’s ex-wife knew it because she kept the assignment information or shoved it into the very bottom of the kids backpacks (we have tried to work with the kid's school and explain this to them but they don't seem to fully understand the extent that my husband’s ex-wife will go to. She would rather the kids show up without food and dressed inappropriately for their field trips on my husband’s weeks because it makes her look like the better parent and he has also tried to address it with his ex-wife but she refused to cooperate with him), she has withheld information about required daily homework assignments such as daily reading until the end of the school year and then springs it on my husband when she was the one who removed the documentation from the kids backpacks on her weeks so we wouldn't have access to the information so she can call him a horrible dad and try and document information about my husbands noncompliance with school related requirements, we had to have a councelor approach her about her bathing with the kids at an inappropriate age (last year), which was causing issues with my husband’s daughter who had begun saying really inappropriate sexual things and we had an incident with my step daughter being sexually inappropriate with one of the neighbor girls due to all of this, and the counselor had to tell his ex-wife numerous times to quit bathing with the kids because it was causing issues with them and to lock the bathroom door if she was in the process of using the bathroom, she has allowed the kids 6 and 8 years old to drive her car while in traffic, refused to let the kids go and see their great grandfather before he passed away (on my husband’s side of course), threatens my husband anytime he says no to her in regards to the kids ( last year their son was enrolled in all day kindergarten. Both parents agreed to pay for half. She couldn't afford to pay for her half in December of last year so we paid it. When January rolled around my husband told her that he couldn't afford to pay her half and that she would either have to come up with the money or their son would have to go to part time kindergarten. She didn't like that and told him that she is not required to pay for half even though she agreed to and threatened him with contempt charges if he refused to pay her portion), we have documentation that can prove that she is using Parental Alienation Syndrome with both of their kids, she has had both of the kids with her in the bathroom while she was on her period throughout the last four years. Both of the kids have witnessed her changing bloody tampons and pads (in fact my husband's son thinks that his mother wears diapers because he has witnessed her changing dirty pads), my husband’s daughter has had numerous issues when she is in her mother's care (just last year their daughter told her mother that she was having bad thoughts about stabbing her and she was only 7 at the time), both my husband’s kids are now afraid to lose their teeth because my husband’s ex-wife ripped their first loose tooth out of their mouths before they were ready to come out because she wanted to their first tooth, and she is currently in the process of trying to extort 25K from my husband using threats, bribery, and coercion in order to get the money for the EIC that he was awarded in the custody order. All of this has been documented in email and text and can be proven in a court of law because she has admitted up to everything.

My question is with this type of information what chance do we stand if BM tries to take DH to court for majority custody of the kids when he refuses to give her the 25k in EICs which is legally his? Right now it's shared 50/50 but she has threatened to take him to court for majority custody of the kids so she can get more child support, which she doesn't need, if he doesn't do exactly like she has asked. Again this is all documented in emails and texts. Do we have enough of her behavior over the last four years documented that we can make her wish she never knew DH? There's more. This is just what I can remember right off of the top of my head.

Comments

GameOn's picture

Oh and the reason why DH hasn't done anything about all of her crazy behavior is because he is afraid of what she will do to him. She could accuse him of child abuse again, double up on the PAS and ruin DH's relationship with both of his kids, and follow through on her threats to try and ruin DH. I just can't live like that anymore. I don't live in fear. I want this BS to stop. I'm tired of it. It's no way to live. Everything is just fine and dandy until BM decides she is going to be a b!tch again and then it causes all sorts of drama in our household and DH I end up fighting for months. I'm sick of it. It doesn't need to be this way.

GameOn's picture

That's what I want. If BM wants court so bad fine. Let's do it. I really don't think that she fully understands just how bad her behavior has been. She thinks that she can just waltz into court and the judge is just going to hand over everything she wants. Little does she know that her actions over the past four years have not been in the best interest of the kids and we can prove it will all of her emails and texts.

GameOn's picture

DH did confront BM about all of the incidents. The issue is that DH is afraid of what she will do to him if he were to report it. She obviously doesn't give a sh!t seeing as she had no problem of lying to the police and a CPS worker in regards to DH. She even tried to blame it on me stating DH couldn't be trusted anymore because of the other influence in his life. B!tch please. I can't be trusted? Aren't you the one parked outside our home at 3 am? Didn't you lock my car door while my car was warming up while it parked in front of the house? Aren't you the one placing your kids lives in danger? Didn't you move a two time convicted felon into your home the week he was released from prision? I can't be trusted? Um, how about you, BM, can't be trusted.

GameOn's picture

I just want this to end. There has to be a way. I just wish DH would understand that things are not going to get better until he does something. She is going to keep doing this as long as he allows her to get away with it and the sad thing is, for the sake of avoiding drama and acting our of fear he will lose his kids. Both of them. They will choose to stay with BM. In fact DH may have two more years with SD before she makes that decision due to BM's PAS. Why can't he see this? He's is going to lose the war in the long run because he refuses to fight for his kids.

oneoffour's picture

So she makes a few phone calls. You deal with it and move on.
As Spacekadet said, she is deflecting which seems to be working pretty damned well. Your DH has NOTHING to be afraid of if he has done nothing wrong. The woman already his an unproven case against herself.
He DOESN'T turn over any more money than legally required. And when she whines and threatens, he tells her to see a lawyer and let a judge decide. If she threatens to withhold the kids he says the same thing "You cannot withhold the kids from me. This is my legally appointed time. You agreed to this time. If you withhold them it will not be pretty."
And see a lawyer to get the bitch muzzled.

GameOn's picture

I'm the type of person who just doesn't take sh!t. If you want to threaten me, bully me, and use extortion to get your way then GameOn. Let's just see how far you want to take it and let's see how far you make it. Just saying. You're only a victim if you allow yourself to be treated like a victim.