Let's compare the $7 dollar bag of potting soil to the $250 dollar carbbing trip that DH took the week before Halloween. I'm pretty sure that wasn't a neccessary expense and we obviously couldn't afford it. Nope. It's that damn bag of $7 dollar soil that I bought and the $20 dollars that I spent on Christmas decorations.

What good does seperate accounts do me when I'll get stuck with half of his credit card debt if we ever split up? I don't even have access to the damn thing and it isn't even in my name and yet I'll still be held responsible for half of the debt.

And there's no planning for him at all. I know that both of his kids are going to need summer care. Summer care isn't cheap or free. What I would do is plan ahead. I would find what I intended to do with them for the summer and then figure out the cost. I would then take that cost and divide the amount into the remaining months that I have left until I need to pay the money. Then I would work that into the budget that I have already setup to see where corners can be cut so that I can afford summer care for my kids and not just put it all in the credit card because even though I knew I was going to have to find summer care for the kids I didn't plan for it. This, this, this, is where our debt comes from. Not budgeting and planning ahead.

Apparently you ladies have woke the beast. My DH is texting me about this post but my phone is dying so I can't respond. My battery is shot but I can't afford to replace it with another one because I don't have any money. Who needs a phone any ways. They're so overrated. Maybe I'll ask for a freaking battery for my phone as my Christmas present. That's what all of us ladies want right? A freaking cell phone battery as a Christmas present.

So here is my response to my DH that I'm sure he'll read but I can't send it on my phone.

Apparently you have this same issue with your ex wife since she was always b!tiching at you about your spending habits. That's two wives out of two total that have b!tiched about the same thing in regards to your behavior. Maybe, just maybe there might be a problem here and it might be with you instead of everyone else. Just saying. You might want to look into that.

Oh and before you come at me with your ideas of where the debt came from, please do some research. This is the reason why we are in the debt that we are in. You can't even remember which debts have been paid, which were covered by your 401k loan, which are still owed, and why the debt's there to being with. Believe me when I tell you that if I know more about our finances then you do and I don't even have access to information like our bank account or your credit card statements then there's a problem there. Just saying. You might want to look into that.

Oh and I love what he threw in my face as part of the 8k worth of debt. My wedding ring. That's right ladies. If you didn't know this already you probably should. Apparently we are expected to pay for our wedding rings now. Yep, you heard it from me first.

What's funny is the wedding ring has already been paid off. That was a part of the 6k that the credit card had on it the last time he paid it off. It's funny that I have to be the one to point this out and what's even funnier is that he's forgotten the conversation that we had in regards to the debt that is now on the credit card. I mean, it must be a pretty hard conversation to remember when it's the one reason why we didn't have another child because DH kept telling me that as soon as we get the credit card paid off we'd be in a position to have another child like he promised me all the while he's out racking up as much debt as he can in a six month span of time for absolutely no reason other than the fact that he liked having money in our bank account. It made him feel safe to have a cushion. Which is exactly where that debt came from. A portion of it was from our wedding but guess what? It would already be paid off by now had no more debt been racked up.

And we haven't even gotten to taxes this year. DH has been claiming more dependents then he should and then turned around and told me to claim 0 and single so I get taxed all to hell to try and make up for the fact that the federal government is going to bend us over and have thier way with us. because of what heis claiming. So not only are we paying for the 401k loan, 8k worth of credit card debt, but uncle sam is going to stick it us as well. And there's nothing wrong with this picture? I've got a phrase that can be used. Not living within your means. DH is claiming more dependents because we could really use that extra $100 a month according to him. My opinion? Sit down. Figure out a budget that fits the take home pay and make do with it. If you can't afford it then you don't need it and credit cards should only be used in emergencies.

I am a pretty tolerant person. I was in a bad mood after I got the $10 dollar text yesterday because no matter what we just can't seem to keep ahead. I can get a raise and we're right where we were before I got it. He can get a raise and we are exactly where we were at before. I quit drinking which is saving us money every month and yet we're still at the same point we were at before. DH's excuse is that the cost of living keeps going up. I may have my stupid moments but I'm not a complete idiot. So if what he says is true, every time we find a way to make or save more money the cost of living jumps up exactly that amount? It doesn't make since.

And he pretty much refuses to work with me on a budget. I have been trying for years to get him to sit down and do this with me but he won't. But everytime the budget gets brought up it's my fault that we haven't sat down to do it according to him. I just don't get it. I have never dealt with a more frustrating and confusing person in my life.

This can't keep happening. We can't keep living like this. DH makes a lot more money then I do and maybe that's why he thinks that he can just do whatever and blow off any attempt that I make to try and fi sh!t before it gets completely out of hand. Together we're bringing home close to 5k a month. That's more than enough to work with on a monthly basis.

I just don't understand. All I want to do is fix this but he won't let me and yet it's all my fault. WTF is going on here?

And I have even told him that I will go and get a second job and he doesn't want me to do that. I just don't effing get it. How the hell does he expect to pay off all of this debt? And if he can't manage to live within his means does it even matter if he does? History has shown that he creates more debt to pay off current debt and then turns around and racks up more current debt.

The whole point of taking the 401k loan out to pay off the debt was because he would rather pay himself interest then the credit card company. A lot of good that did. Now we are paying 350 a month towards the 401k loan, 150 to 200 for the new credit card debt, and who knows how this whole tax thing is going to work out. If we can't manage to stay afloat now with the current debt that we have how exactly are we giong to pay off the debt for taxes that will be due by April.

The truth of the matter is that we can't keep doing this. We can't keep living this way. I have to listen to him whine about feeling like a failure because he can't provide for his family when he can. What is requires is a real effort to create a budget, the determination to make it work, and doing whatever else, second job, is neccessary to get us to where we need to be. I am more than willing to get a second job. I want to get through this but it's pointless if he can't admit he has an issue with managing finances. We'll end up exactly where we are now or we'll never get out from where we are at.

Then the kicker is when he looks me in the eye and tells me that I need to be strong for him and support him and in the same breath tries to blame the fact that he can't get his son something he doesn't need with our remaining money because I spent less then $30 dollars over the past 3 weeks in front of my daughter. I can be as supportive as he needs but if you treat me like that you get sh!t from me.

In fact what I think DH needs is to be beat within an inch of his life with a huge club made of common since. Just sayin.