DH is struggling today....
I really really really want to talk to DH's therapist. I KNOW he's not talking about this crap with this counselor.
BM asked DH a few weeks ago if SS could spend the night Christmas night. DH said no. It's our year to have him most of christmas day and the weekend after.
Yesterday BM had SS13 ask DH if he could spend the night with his mom because friday they are going to visit family and they might have gifts for him. DH said yes. Then he was mad because we bought them a ridiculously extravagant gift(PS4)and said that he feels like 1. SS only wanted to go because he might get something and 2. he might try to get out of it when he sees what we bought them. I told DH to make sure he goes. He asked, he made the committment to his mom and like I've said before he doesn't get to be a part of this family only when we are doing something or have something that HE thinks is fun.
He asked me why his son is still so much like his mom after all the effort we've put in to try to raise him correctly. I told him it's easier to be like her. I told him to try to have fun being home with DS6 today. I even left cookie dough in the fridge and instructions on temp and how long to bake them. I also left the Christmas coloring I would be doing with him if I had been able to take off today. We have Christmas movies and books. DS is excited about the holiday try to be excited for him.
DH just texted and said DS read 3 Christmas books to him and now they are reading the action bible (comicbook version of the bible for those who don't know)
I wish we could have gone to visit family but I think DH would be more depressed because SS wouldn't have been able to go...
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((((((((((((GM))))))))))))) I
((((((((((((GM)))))))))))))
I hope your DH does stick to his guns and make SS go to his mother's after asking to go so he can gift-grab. (which, btw, super shitty that she'd tell him he needs to go because they "might" have gifts for him...what if they don't? Will he be a little ass about it?)
"He asked me why his son is
"He asked me why his son is still so much like his mom after all the effort we've put in to try to raise him correctly."
Genetics. There's really nothing you can do to fight genetics. Tell your DH if he is, in fact, putting in effort to try to raise him correctly and genetics is winning out, it is 100% NOT his fault. Is there any way in which he's like his dad instead? Maybe, to try to help your DH not be sad about his mom's genes, you could point out how awesome it is that they are so much alike when it comes to.... XYZ?
Honestly, no. He's exactly
Honestly, no. He's exactly like her. He looked more like DH when we met but the older he gets the more he looks like BM. He's not athletic like DH. He's smart but fails because he's lazy. DS6 on the otherhand looks exactly like DH, is athletic and ridiculously smart like DH, poor baby is even a neat freak like DH. That's one of the funny things about Christmas, DS insists that all wrapping paper must be put in a trashbag prior to opening another gift it's hilarious to watch.
We struggled in the beginning because neither of us came from a broken home so we didn't know how to deal. This site helped a lot and we've corrected the things we were doing wrong. Examples: Buying something for SS that he said BM promised but didn't get, trying to make things equal, not planning any activities unless SS was with us. Those sorts of things. DH is constantly on him to do his school work, his chores, to take a bath. He has his moments when he b!tches at me for being a stepmonster BUT then he turns around and gets onto SS about the same things I was b!tching about anyway.
SSociopath is the same way.
SSociopath is the same way. Kids with a toxic parent and a normal one tend to agree with/stay with/be like the toxic parent because they're afraid of losing their love. DH lost both of his kids because of this.
And yeah, kids tend to go where the gifts are.
I think DH's gripe is really,
I think DH's gripe is really, SS says he HATES visiting BMs family but he's okay with them giving him stuff. DH doesn't like that. I don't either but it's not my kid. We will be at a local restuarant that will be open from 1-6 tomorrow to feed the homeless. We will be teaching our son about giving back to the community.