Did the hospital hotline? I find it hard to believe that you had your DD there what a month or so ago? for a concussion and now a broken arm and someone hasn't hotlined yet?

There are so many people "at fault" here, not just your SS. Sure SS should have stopped jumping and helped DD off the trampoline. But DD should have been being supervised by an adult and shouldn't have had the opportunity to get on the trampoline, especially if adults in the home knew that SS was on it. And DD should have strict instructions drilled into her head that she is NOT allowed on the trampoline without an adult. sounds like the perfect storm of negligence by EVERYONE.

ETA: I see that she had her concussion the end of July and CPS was involved. Is that case still open? I'd hang on to my drawers, because this does not look good.

How old are these kids?

How in the world did a preschool kid make it out of the house, across the yard and onto a trampoline without either parent being aware of it?

Googling Trampoline safety and the first rule:

1. Children age 5 and under should not be permitted on a trampoline.

This is a lesson in why such a rule exists. I am sorry to hear your little one has such a severe injury, poor kiddo. I've never had a broken bone myself, knock wood.

If an adult would have supervised her correctly, none of this would have happened. Your SS did not hurt your DD. He was being a normal obnoxious teen. He did not throw her off.

You “claim” SS keeps hurting your DD right? If you truly thought SS was hurting her, then you would not let her alone with him. I mean, you keep leaving them together. I am almost to the point that you are knowingly putting your DD at risk so that she can get hurt and you can get rid of SS.

Why would you have your trampoline placed an area with garden stones on the ground around it in the first place? That seems pretty dangerous to a child of any age jumping on a trampoline. I also find it strange that a 4 year old could get on the trampoline by herself. Do you have steps next to it that allow her to climb up? Did you even see what actually happened?

Bottom line, you let your 4 year old be unsupervised in the back yard that had a trampoline in it. Not to mention that you knew she was unsupervised and SS was in the back yard. You're also admitting that in a rage you almost attacked a 14 year old child.

Saying your SS hurt her over and over again won't make it true. If he told your DD to get off the trampoline, and she already knew she shouldn't have been on it, she should have listened and got off of the trampoline. She's 4. She's not a toddler.

Saying your SS hurt her over and over again won't make it true.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THIS!

In June you swore that SS would never be alone with DD, yet it happened. I think the potential for DD to be accidentally injured when interacting with SS is great simply due to the age/size difference. You don't want SS anywhere near DD but this is your DH's son and he has every right to be in the home. I think you are limited in your options. You can either be hyper-vigilant in supervising the two of them anytime they are together, you can take DD and leave anytime SS is around, or you can live apart from DH. I think only the first option gives your marriage any chance.

TBH, if you seriously feel your SS is INTENTIONALLY injuring your DD and you and your DH have not taken steps to ensure that your DD is supervised properly while your SS is in the home then the only people I can find fault with is the adults that seem to think there is a problem but are doing nothing to stop it.

This isn't the first accident. Among siblings, it generally wouldn't be the last one either. You have had a couple bad ones but no one but you seem to think that any of this is being done with malice. You can call your SS careless as he is an immature boy and doesn't have the forethought to understand how his actions or reactions might impact another person. But, you have stated in the past that they would not be allowed alone together... yet it happened again. And...your DH seems to be complicit in this happening. Does HE have it out for your DD? I doubt it.

You really only have a few options. Being vigilant in supervising your daughter is one. That means if you can't rely on your DH to do it, you don't rely on him and you do it yourself. She plays in the kitchen with you.

Or... you can decide to leave the home with your daughter when there is visitation to remove yourselves.

Getting your SS "kicked out" of the home isn't going to happen. You and your DH would most likely split up over that and he would get visitation and guess what???? he will have your DD around his son and you won't be there to stop anything from happening.

How does a 4 year old child climb up on a trampoline by herself?
Aren't they fairly far above the ground?
Has she ever climbed up there by herself before?
If not, how did she get up there?
If, so what protections were put in place to prevent this from re-occurring?

And I keep picturing a teenager on a trampoline bouncing high enough to fling a 4 year old off of a trampoline.
That would be some serious bouncing.

There seems to be a certain amount of malice on SS's part but the child should never have been in his path.

Do you have stairs up to trampoline?

As a past trampoline owner, I never let my young kids in the backyard unsupervised for even a moment. They can fall through the springs and bounce off themselves without anybody else on it.

Do you know how many people get hurt on trampolines every single year?

If you're going to allow a four-year-old into a yard by themselves with the trampoline, you one....can't have stairs to it, and second .....you have to have a net around it.

And believe me, we got pretty rough the trampoline. Would soak it down with a hose....would bounce on it in the rain. Use boards on it to do flips on. Put it near pools we could bounce into the pool. We got crazy. But we did it with more thought. Hence, nobody got hurt.

this is the kid with the bully that he assaulted and the bully ultimately died
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh gah. This is that poster? This is the step son who stabbed a kid that was trying to kill him right? And no adult was protecting SS from the assailant.

That idiot was MUCH more that your run of the mill bully. He was trying to actually kill her SS. SS did what he had to do. I feel so bad for this kid.

Uhhh fruit…I don’t think I would attack this kid. He had to learn how to take care of himself with people who want to do him harm.

Our trampoline came with a net.

Fruit,

There is so much going on in your family right now. I know you are terrified for your DD. I am so sorry she has gotten hurt in all of this.

If you want SS to stop acting out this way you will have to push your DH to get him counseling. He has been through a lot. I know you are having a hard time having empathy and compassion for him because he hurt your DD.

What I want you to see is that he is continuing a cycle of violence that was perpetrated on him.

No adult protected him from his bully.

You are trying to protect your DD from him, while he is acting as a bully.

That is enraging him more. No one protected him when he needed it. He had to take matters into his own hands. He shouldn't have had to do that and he is hurting, deeply.

Your DH was frozen during a lot of this with the bully and when the bully died. Your DH likely feels a ton of guilt. Putting SS in counseling will feel like blame to your DH. You will have to push. You may have to make a stand about it.

If you leave your DH, he will get visitation of your DD sometimes. Your DD will be around SS, no matter if you are living in the home or not.

Your best bet is to show SS the grace, empathy and support he needed when he was bullied and get him counseling now. If he gets counseling now, your DD will be safer. If you leave with her, she will not be. You also will have taught SS that bullying makes him powerful enough to break up a marriage and DD's home.

Try to breathe and look past your anger. Do you want this solved for everyone or do you want to be angry?

How did she get up on the trampoline in the first place? I have a nephew who just turned 4, and he can't get on the trampoline unless someone gives him a boost. It's right at the top of his head, and kids that age don't have the upper body strength for what's basically a full pull-up.

I disagree with everyone saying that you should have to watch your 4-year-old all the time in her own backyard. Please. 4 is plenty old enough to go play on a swingset or or other outdoor toys in a fenced backyard with mom looking out the window every so often...especially if an older sibling is out there, too, Heck. At 14, I was walking to neighbor houses and babysitting 2-3 kids at a time all by myself...in the days before cell phones.

Similarly, my little nephew has an older brother who's about to be 12 and an older sister who just turned 8. They both look out for him and play with him very sweetly and would never do anything to hurt him. If the oldest boy was out on the trampoline and Nephew4 wanted to get up, he's mature enough to help him up and bounce in an appropriate way for a toddler. 4-year-olds aren't that light, either. It would take a TON of force to bounce so hard that the kid would literally fly off the trampoline and land on the ground. I know trampolines can be dangerous...but I'm from a big family with lots of kids who are pretty rowdy...and no one's ever gotten injured or bounced off...whether we were supervised or unsupervised.

Honestly, I just don't know how this happened...did SS boost her onto the trampoline? How did she get on? I also don't know why a 14-year-old can't be careful with a 4-year-old. Again, my stb12-year-old nephew is amazing with the 4-year-old and is able to play with him in an appropriate way for his age. It's really not something that should be beyond the reach of a 14-year-old if he had any empathy or common sense.

Yes. I know it's partly mom and dad's fault as well...but SS isn't blameless here. If I'd been negligent and injured a sibling in this way when I was 14, my parents wouldn't have considered me blameless, I am sure...nor would I have given myself a pass. 14 is plenty old enough to exercise moral judgement and be careful with those who are smaller and weaker than you.

Based on this and your previous posts, it sounds like SS needs some professional help.

It also sounds like your DD should never be allowed alone with her brother. Perhaps tell her that she is not allowed to be alone with him and put her in time out if she goes near him. Also, your DH should tell your SS that he will not be allowed in the house when she is there. Fourteen is way too old to not stop what you're doing if you know a small child might get hurt by your actions.

If your DH does not see the problem, then it may be worth telling him that if his son is going to be around, you and your daughter will not be around.

If you have not done so already, you might want to consider getting legal protection that prevents your SS from being near your daughter. Two injuries is more than enough and his being bullied in the past does not excuse his behavior.

Why isn't your child supervised? And why are there rocks by the trampoline? Why isn't there a net around trampoline? How is little kid managing to get up there, do you have stairs there?

All of this is some serious neglect.

So you do not have a protective net around your trampoline and you were not supervising your child, but somehow it's your stepsons fault? It's the responsibility of another child to supervise a sibling rather than the parent?

At some point you're going to have to start taking responsibility for your own inaction rather than blaming it on child.

Reminds me of the article: http://www.health.com/mind-body/8-things-er-doctors-refuse-to-have-in-th...

That trampoline should be treated like a swimming pool, IMO. I bet if you had a pool out back you would not let your 4 year-old out there unattended. I'm sorry she was injured, but it seems like it could have been avoided by adequate supervision by an adult, not a teenager you don't trust .