"Who is your favorite Daddy?"
Ok, I got a date!!! Yay!! I did get some time with my BF alone, just us....
It was nice. It reminded me of why I am with him. He is a great guy when he is not doting on SD11.
Last night,at dinner, SD11 started a conversation I felt I needed to comment on. I only stated that I thought it was not nice. I did not really reprimand, just made a comment.
She stated, "The other day when my daddy and I went to the doctor, I asked him who was his favorite. He told me I was. Then I asked him what would you say if SS14 asked you. He said that he would say that SS14 is."
She then asked, "so who is your favorite now Daddy?"
BF took a minute then said, "why this pizza is my favorite right now!" WE all laughed.
After a few minutes of thinking about it, I finally said what I was thinking, "I think that bringing up a private conversation between you and your dad and who is his favorite was not nice."
They both got bent out of shape about it. It was over quickly but it really burned my britches. I cried afterward a little thinking that I will forever be wrong. That I will always be the outsider.
Was I wrong? Should I have kept my mouth shut? Recently he has told me point blank that I can be like a parent to his kids. He wants me to take charge with that. If I feel he is not being heavy handed enough, that I can say something, actually DO something.
So I get to be the bad guy. However, I am not looking at this as a bad thing really. I get to do instead of waiting on him to do. The counselor told us that she thought this was fine as long as he backed me up in front of the kids. He could tell me later that he thought I was to heavy, but in front of the kids, we are supportive of each other.
We will see.... }:)
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Comments
Why did you think it was not
Why did you think it was not nice? Was she being in some way obnoxious? My eldest is always teasing me about 'who is your favourite, mom?'
I think it's a very
I think it's a very self-centered "kid' thing to do. SD was trying to reaffirm her favorite status over Freedom2005, which is extremely rude. It's not like SD is 4 or 5; she's 11, and should know better than to make someone else feel bad, deliberately or not.
Yeah like Trish said, its the
Yeah like Trish said, its the SD attempt to reaffirm her status in a passive aggressive way. My SS18 exerts simular behavior but does it by acting our with anger. hate to bring up you'll have many more years of this fun
You shouldnt feel bad for voicing how this makes you feel to both of them. Theres no right or wrong in these families dynamics, bottom line protect yourself in this situation. Dont hold on to it..it bottles up and comes out worst if you do. Thats how I dealt with alot of it and the resentment was distructive on many levels. I wish I had spoken up more often as minor as you may think the situation is at the time.
more years of this to come so
more years of this to come so don't keep it in and all to yourself. you need to express your feelings and opinions as you feel them.if you and your BF would like to discuss it in more detail you do so in private and out of the skids range of hearing. we use the laundry room to discuss our points of difference. we used to go in the bedroom - but that made our safe haven a bit like hell after a while, so we stopped that quickly. Laundry room or garage is much better.
being supportive to each other is def required. Way to go counselor!
Thank you for your comments.
Thank you for your comments.
It just seemed like she was pointing out "them" to me. Only mentioning her and her brother. Bringing up that she spend the day with Daddy when she went to the doctor. It grated on me.
She KNOWS she is his favorite.
Well, I asked! Thank you again ladies, I really appreciate your input!
There is a possibility it was innocent. But part of my problem is that I don't think anything she does is innocent. That is on me. I have to work on it.
I am thinking that is what I
I am thinking that is what I meant. It was rude to discuss a conversation that was between her and her dad. That is how it came across to me.
Believe me, I know that their dad will not teach them manners. He has allowed SD11 to tell me, "I was being sarcastic to you!" He shrugged it off...
His answer is "they are kids, kids do that" My answer, "I agree, kids do that, but as parents, we need to tell them it is wrong!"
I really appreciate your input on this one... I think you hit the nail on the head!